NumeroUnity

Moon

2011-12-10T22:49:00.006+05:30

Through the eclipse I was pondering

Forever incandescence, waxing & waning

Child's tenacity & poet's songs

Images of the woman inside, sitting & spinning

Peaceful at distance, still & yet not dull

and the disaster it creates when try to come closer to beloved earth.

Well some seas are always jealous.

A moon is a moon, is a moon

Noah' ark

2011-09-20T22:33:00.003+05:30

Itching to write or writing to itch? Well, both. So here, a poem on spurrrrr of the moment-

"She was thrilled of things she make, irrelevance to spices,
he was keen, on things he shape, irrespective of consequences

They built nothing, but an ark of paper. nor shelter, warmth & sans comfort
It squashed when rain, squeezed when folded & screeched when trapped.

Remembering- Lester William Polfus

2011-06-09T23:38:00.006+05:30

In the fond memory of-

Lester William Polfus

[June 1915 - August 2009]

"Vaya con Dios" [Go with God]

"Its been a long long time"

"rumors are flying", "whispering"

"the "magic melody"

"I'm confessin", my "lover" from "brazil",

"my baby's comin home"

"how high the moon";

"the world is waiting for sunrise"

...

"Nola", "what is this thing called love"

"take in your arms and hold"

"put a ring in my finger"

"in a good ol summertime"

...

"I am sitting on top of world"

"bye bye blues"

"Don'cha hear them bells", "jingle bells"

"hummingbird"

"my baby' comin home"

"its been long long time"

Coming Soon!!!

2010-11-19T00:36:00.003+05:30

I know, I have been lost thus long. Where, won't serve us much purpose. Though I missed you all a lot. Mwwwaaah mwaaah! I am planning a second innings [again!!??!!] in the blogosphere. Hope you will forgive me and love me again!

While, I am looking for interesting masala to mark my "comeback" entry, any suggestions would be welcome!!!

Cheers...keep watching this space for more.

God will make a way!

2010-06-10T17:32:00.006+05:30

There is a song, a prayer that I always hum. I sing it when I need motivation; I sing it when I need help. I sing it when I am sitting; I sing it when I am moving around. It's a beautiful prayer taught to me by my friends in Satyabhama hostel. Thanks Jessy, Thanks Nimmie, Thanks Bhavana and thanks all of you. Today, my dear blogdosts, i would like to share this beautiful song with you all. In happiness, in despair, in agony and even when you may not care. keep this song to your heart and, you will see miracles happening! Here's the divine song-

God will make a way, where there seems to be no way.

He works in way we cannot see; He will make a way for me

He will be my guide, holding closely to his side

With love n strength, each new day-Lord will make a way.

God will make a way.

When I walk in bewilderness, he leads me

Rivers in the desert, I see

Heaven n earth fades away, his words remain true always

He will do something new, today.

God will make a way!

Lord will make a way, where there seems to be no way.

Praise God!

PS: To all my dear Christian friends, I tried to keep the lyrics as original as remembered. in case, if there is any slip ups, pl forgive me. Do care to correct.

The prayer song on youtube: God will make a way

To ma, with love!

2010-05-09T18:43:00.001+05:30

Kya kar rahi meri bachchi, meri rasgulla?
Kuch nahi meri mama gulab jamun.
Meri shakkar ki bori, meri ganne ki pori
Mera aam ras, mera vanilla, mera khas-khas
Meri gulakand ki mithas, meri jalebi ka chasni
Ma, yeh tuk nahi baith rahi, pl do not break the rhyme..
Ok so take it, meri gulkand ki mithas, meri aam ki pyaas
Mera fresh kheera, meri lapsi mera seera
Meri methi malai, meri imli khatai
Meri sewai mer rabdi, meri gatta meri ker sangri
Oh no mamma, tuk nahi baith
Meri kulfi faluda, mere ripe mango gudda
Chocolate ka dabba, kesar wali kheer, shahi paneer
Kya meri dahi ki chaas, haan meri gud ki mithas
Mera aam ka panna, mera chikoo mera ganna
Meri ….

This was the conversation that took place between me and mom on phone today
We both concealed our pains and pretended to be happy
Both understood each other’s woe and both did not discuss about it
Both tried to make each other happy.
Thank you mom. Thank you for being there for me, for listening to me and understanding too.

Thank you for love, care and support- all unconditionally!

Euthanasia

2010-04-29T23:40:00.006+05:30

Which is better- dying a thousands deaths everyday or getting killed once?

This question hovered her for years. For years, she battled denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally accepted. She tempered her feelings with good memories than sadness. Time passed but the waves of raw emotion ceased to get reorganized. She battled darkness until one day when she succumbed to it. Her efforts paid her some momentary gain of reason but at the end they were outweighed with recurring griefs. She saw even doctors battling with gangraine until it starts spreading and they need to take harsh action to further loss. What does a loss culminates into? May be a momentary relief but a grief of lifetime.

Her gangraine had spread over her soul, corrupted her hopes of life to a cracked glass bowl. The best of adhesives cannot cover the cracks. Her china bowl has lost its beauty, its purpose. It rather started hurting her eyes everytime she glanced through them. She buried it in a metal chest, beneath the soil but it always popped up. Until one day, when she took it to holy ganges and paid her homage to Gods.

Ayehsa attained back her peace or is it something that people often say everytime her name comes.

Walk & talk, What an Idea sirji!

2010-03-31T09:41:00.005+05:30

An idea can really change your life. Snehashish, the young finance manager of our GSM arm was walking while talking on his mobile. Little did he realize that this idea would change his life and how. While chatting he got hit by a glass door and got 24 stitches near his eye- forehead area. This historic event took place at his swash apartment AKA home. Some ideas do travel like an epidemic. Another gentleman was pursuing this noble “walk & talk” health mission near our office building. A vehicle hit him and shown him “tare zameen par”.

Yours truly also became a victim of this idea. I was starting for my office when a friend called. The beginning was safe. I picked my lappie, documents, locked the house, came to street, and the next moment found myself lying on the road with “sare zameen par”. Shaken but not stirred, walked ahead, caught a taxi for office and pull all the pieces together and switched on my phone again. That night yours truly had terrible body ache. The idea really changed my life and since then I strictly avoid talking on cell phone while walking.

By the way, how does “walk and talk” helps in reducing hazards caused due to prolonged hours of talking on cell phone? I mean is radiation indirectly proportionate to motion? That is to say more you walk, the lesser the radiation. Bah! Simply say, reduce the time spent on mobile and talk in peace. Oh, that may not affect our health but definitely impact the health of telecom companies’. Their MOU (minutes of usage) will plummet, resulting in revenue arrest in the hearts of their books of accounts. This sudden flow will circulate more blood to brains and hey presto, you have won the “battle of customer’s mind”. Right Mr. Al Ries & Jack trout? What an idea sir ji!

Unfortunately, this idea suffered the voltage fluctuation and went kaput. Walking is great practice but “walk n talk”, nah! Not in India at least. How? Let us ask “Khanna aunty”. I invited her to “Twestival- Kolkata” last Friday and what followed, is a wonderful tete’ a tete with our beloved Aunty.

Keep hooked up on this space for another interesting rendezvous of “Main aur Mrs. Khanna”.

My name is Khan

2010-03-21T23:38:00.003+05:30

I am a Muslim and am not happy.

I am unhappy not because I am a Muslim. I am unhappy because my being “Muslim” is blown out of proportion, unnecessarily. I am unhappy, because “being Muslim” is a misused term, abused by people all around, non-Muslims and unfortunately, Muslims too. I have become a decoy to some people like politicians, fundamentalists and many others for achieving their machinations. I am being exploited. Exploited and shockingly more often by my own folks. However, exploitation is a small word in the context.

When I was born, I was alike to all Rams or Rogers born in that ward. We all wailed and kicked our way to world. Mothers gave birth to us but fundamentalism raised us. We all survive on our mother’s care and milk. Then why did rioters killed little Raghav’s mother, who was still unborn? We came to this earth nude, nothing but with our souls, but when we leave, we have everything but our soul. Then why do you add color to the cover and symbol to the soul? I am unhappy because of “You”.

When I just started sketching some colorful flowers and valleys in my sketchbook, why did you draw line and borders on it. You spoiled my beautiful picture by separating flower from valley and writing India and Pakistan names on it. Would not a flower be a flower irrespective of the valley it grows in? Would you ask a flower’s name, caste or religion before adorning it on Allah or Prabhu?

I wanted to go to school [swat valley] but you sent me to a camp. You gave a gun in my hand and a veil to my sister. Sometime innocent girls like her had to hide her face while all ugly beast around roam without any hizab?

Years passed and your discriminations become stronger. I became Sunni, Sian or Bohra; Kareem, Abdul or Mohammed but not a human. Religion is about nurturing goodwill and mitigating conflicts, but you are doing just opposite. I do not have any problem with any religion or their god. Humankind has happily coexisted even before someone segregated us into Hindu or Muslim. Distribution, as I thought was to bring the cultural diversity and add more colors to life. Unfortunately, that color is now devoid with festivity but only blood stains of innocents. When I have grown up, I liked this lovely girl and wanted to marry her. You said why her name is Radha and not ruksana? How does that make any difference to our life, happiness together, the children we have or name of God? What has religion to do with love or my being a good son to do with my choice of girl? Would she be a better human being if she were a Khan, Rehman or Ali or I a Pandit, Sharma or Kapoor?

I was told that western world is more open and approachable. One of you objected me from going there, with a tag that we are too moderate, too western, beat me up? Another one of you objected my livelihood, with a sneer and suspicion, beat my spirits up. When I go out of the country, why am labeled as fanatic because I have Pakistani name?

Terrorism has no religion, than why they call me a terrorist. ‘A’ for apple is just one interpretation of many and not a universal truth. Then why are you teaching the world “M” for “Muslim” and “Muslim” for “terrorism”? Why you have different treatment for your own citizens who create biggest frauds, manipulations, massacre in world, and still roam around loose? Your negligence is not accounted when you bring the world economy down but yours flourishing through some business even if it is ammunition.

The place you call as Hindu majority is the safest place for me in the world. There is no guarantee that I may not be killed in any nation that I may call as my own? One 9/11 and one of you out casted my entire clan. Where does this patriotism go when you support certain groups with ammunitions? Where does that empathy go when your political missions kills my innocent people?

Why blame others when some of my own people have butchered our pious religion in the name of war and hatred. There is more to love for God than beard, pajama or the appearance. I find my solace in prayers without being fanatic. I find pleasure in music and you cannot call me kaafir. To me, Azan is music, a song that I sing in praise of Allah. My Allah is not the property of you jingoists. No thanks for misinterpretations, I have Koran and can read it my own. Will you Pl stop corrupting my mind in the name of religion and jihad? Will you cease off my children and women as well?

My woman is a Muslim too. Why do you treat her differently? She is Allah’s creation and the next creator after him. Which religion teaches you to call your sister, companion, mother, daughter or a women “haraam”?

My religion, my culture is very pure and pl do not stain it with blood of innocent lives, wishes and dreams. I am very proud of my Id, namaaz and Prophet. But none of it asks me to not rejoice in other fellow’s happiness or respect someone else’ God. I was taught about the ‘oneness” of the God. So, why do you make such a furor if I bow my head in front of any non-Muslim shrine or when I celebrate a festival other than mine?

In troubled times, human always tend to resort to god as their last hope. Similarly, in today’s time, we human are constantly using it as our tool. God’s name is the resort for all problems but in today’s time why are you making it an excuse for all problems. Why? Why do you in name of god, curse the god with your petty motives?

It was mere another name for types of caste for me. Years later, it became an icon of its sort. When you demolish babri masjid, create Gothra massacre, you kill human first and then the religion.

Discrimination happens to everyone, whether it is woman, disabled, dalits or anyone. Is this a disability of any sort? If you have to discriminate, then do it for the “religiously challenged” ones, people who use religion as a mean to their motives and exploit. Pl do not manipulate my wonderful religion for your personal gains. Pl do not kill us in the name of god. Stop misleading me in the name of Islam. Stop venerating brutality in name of religion.

II am not happy, because of “You”. Its “you” who makes me, and "us", so unhappy.

PS: I have written this post long time back last year but could not post. Trust it doesn not reflect its antic-ness :)

Forget Ajmal Kasab, MF Hussain is the new national treasure!

2010-03-14T21:48:00.007+05:30

Pornography is the new art & Hindu bashing, the latest fashion: conveys MF Hussain

Maqbool Fida Hussain is a great artist, visionary and a respectful Indian citizen. His work celebrates interpretation and improvisation on the canvas. [And the so-called modernism]. A talent so unrecognized and wasted by us Indians and especially Hindus. The very proof lies in the fact that how we bigoted; inartistic, uneducated illiterate, educated illiterate, Indians harassed, victimized the great legend and pushed him to leave this raped country to find solace in a more tolerant, secular and democratic place.

After all Hinduism is not India’s “official” religion and therefore Hindu gods-goddesses are worthy enough to be painted nude, obscene and in a derogatory manner. We are prisoners of Victorian tastes and morality who do not know how to appreciate art and freedom of expression. How dare Hinduism still exist and alive in the Y2K [post 9/11] world? If it still exists, it deserves to undergo insult, hate and continuous damage. Why blame the poor nonagenarian artist alone. He was after all just trying to make money like most of us. So what if he tried to make that money by humiliating Hinduism? Isn’t that the latest fashion like Gandhi bashing? Where is the humiliation by the way? He just painted Hindu deity nudes. So what if a portion of population considers their deity as mother and father? In Fine arts it is fine to paint your parents nude, oops!! in this case someone else’s parents or parents of entire community. It is modern world, modern art for dummies. Nudity is the purest form of art. Paintings, as any art needs to be understood and not condemned. So if Hindu did not complained when their deities were caricatured into cartoons, holy songs were mutilated and other such blasphemy, then why are they making such a hue and cry now? Gosh, how intolerant Hindus can be. They should suffer and cry in silence as always. Why do they protest? It is national treason and global sacrilege.

Painting:Book::Hussain: Rushdie

Mohd. Azhar is one of the most successful captains in Indian cricket. Once while playing a match in Bihar, someone stole his cap from the stands. It was such a great loss that in a fit of emotion, he labeled all Bihari as “thieves”. Instead of giving a proper apology, he rid away crying, “I am minority, I am minority”. No body protested. The same minority-speaking person went ahead divorcing mother of his two children, his wife who apparently belong to the same community, on the pious day of ID, to marry his celebrity girlfriend. Why did nobody remind him of his song from the cap controversy? However, when MFH does something radical, it makes national fodder. Tsch.

Numbers of people leave country and migrate abroad, reason whatsoever. Damn with them, they are cattle class. MF Hussain is the only national treasure after Ajmal Kasab.

On other side of coin, a huge amount of money [in lines of crores per day] is spent on security of some handful public servants read politicians and their families. Whereas poor MF Hussain who bought so much of GDP/foreign currency to our country and basic respect to the religious belief of its people, was not given a VVIP security from government of India. Sigh. Why do we give our hard earn money to govt as taxes if they cannot buy cradle for Hussain. So what, if Digvijay Singh cannot ensure safety of non-marathis in Mumbai, he will leave no stone unturned to bring MF Hussain back to the country.

Being Hindu in India is merely equal to khakhi knickers?
Poor MF Hussain, such a man of liberal ideology and communal harmony. He did nothing offensive but we made him a scapegoat of saffron activist. He is a naughty child who just painted deities nude and how dare Hindus protest him. After all, it is more important for MF Hussain to be in India, so what if he makes a porn out of a nation’s religious beliefs to buy his phoren trips and comfort. Hindus be damned. Who has cared about them anyway? Common people, Mango people, Cattle class we are. When a suave politician like Tharoor says the word, it becomes a national offense. His freedom of expression be damned, he must have a political interest behind. All Hindus are like VHP, BJP and Bajrang dals, only politicians. It is more imperative to see Hindu issues as mere political campaigns. Hindu sensibilities and belief are mere caricature of saffron brigade. Is there any country as supportive as Qatar, which can protect the religious sentiments of Hindus? Cause India is no longer a safe place for its so-called majority group. Sigh. Someone, pl do adopt us.
“Apne desh mein hum hai pardeshi; yeh koi kya jane!

I am a Hindu, but I respect Islam too. So what if one of its followers maligned it by insulting the faith of other religion. I would never suggest MFH or anyone to paint his deity nude. Let whatever glory, beauty nudity brings; there are indeed better ways to practice freedom of expression instead. Mr. Hussain, pl feel blessed that you were born in a country like India and humiliated people like Hindus. Your leaving the nation rich and UNPUNISHED is definitely the national loss. India must win you back. How? By paying higher price for your disgusting paintings or by giving you national security? Well after this controversy, your sale is anyways going to boost and your security is already taken care in new country. Alternatively, by giving you more lead of different religion, people you can paint nude and mint money in name of artistic display and freedom of expression.

Let me have another good guess- It can be also initiated by releasing new movie of “Madhuri dhak-dhak Dixit” exclusively in India. Who is Madhuri Dixit? Taboo-taboo!

The Eskimo kiss

2010-01-16T23:10:00.000+05:30

I got up to a bright Sunday morning. My entire body was tweaking with pain. I guess I need some more sleep. With half sleepy eyes, I checked my diary, thankfully no appointments today. Last week had been crazy and last night even crazier. I shrug to think about it. I have a splitting headache and need to fix some coffee for self. I looked at the wall where Apurva was standing and smiling at me, carrying a small tray of coffee in her soft, fair hands. It has been 5-6 years since Apurva came to my life.

I lost my wife Rhea in a fateful accident. With her, a part of me died too. She was carrying our baby and with them, all of my dreams aborted as well. Over the years, ma-baba pursued me to remarry and start my life afresh. It was an unfruitful persuasion as taking Rhea away from my life was impossible. Even if I want, I could not do that. The persuasion however got softer by each passing day. How can I forget rhea. She came like a breeze of fresh air in my otherwise robotic life. A life filled with blood, death, pain and sufferings. She bought life to it. I am a cardiac surgeon. I know about hearts, nerves, lungs and she breathed love into it. I am a doctor dealing with complicated medicines and cardio graphs; she cured my loneliness with her laughter, warmth and presence. I have decided that I will never let anyone take her place until I met Apurva one day or rather I should say- one night. Rhea was my life but Apurva became my destiny. Apurva’ entry was never planned; it was unexpected. It just happened one night.

I was coming back from a rural medical camp held at the remote village of Haryana. It was late in the night and I was very tired. I was tired not with my schedule but with the mindset of the people. It was a 2-week camp but a place of 200 years outdated age. It was not poor medical facilities but female infanticide, which was the major health issue there. Girl child in many Indian states is still considered a bane. Newborn baby girls are choked to death by drowning them in a pot of milk. If they do not kill them at birth, they made them to suffer a life filled with suppression, torture and humility. Apurva came from such a place.

It was half past midnight when I heard the marching sound coming from nearby river ground. I came out in my rest house balcony and saw a group of men carrying a girl and rushing towards the river basin. The girl’ mother was running behind them, pleading to let go of her daughter. The men continued to march ahead and pushed the beseeching woman aside. She fell down on stone and hurt her head. Two women rushed to her rescue and tried to take her away from furious mob. The woman half in bruise n half in blood continue to plead those monsters for her daughter. She scurried to the man holding her daughter and fell down on his foot to leave her daughter. The man pushed her away with his other leg and threatened her with dire consequences if she further tries to come between him and his machinations. I was disgusted to see such atrocity and could not help myself but took my mobile and dialed 100 immediately. I took my safety pistol in my hand and ran toward the river along with the rest house attendant. To my surprise, the man who was heading the mob was Apurva’s father. He was holding Apurva in his cruel hands and hurling abuses to her mother for giving birth to girl child. I am a doctor and cruelty of father or a husband is not unknown to me. During my course and practice, I have seen many cases of domestic violence and violence again women. I however am not going to let it happen in front of me. I stopped the crowd and confronted them. They want to kill Apurva only because she is the baby girl born to family of “son worshipper”. The gender of a child is highly dependant on father’ chromosomes, then why do we punish the mother or a child? Apurva was the 7th girl child born in to that family and that made her the 7th daughter about to be killed on the sacrificial altar of chauvinistic thinking. “Doctor Sahib, you pl do not interfere in our matter. We respect you a lot but we would not take your intervention kindly”. “I could not let you people commit this heinous crime. Pl hand the girl back to her mother”.

“No, dr. sahib, you pl stay away from this. The girl’ father himself does not want to own her, who will take her burden? Who will feed her, educate her and pay for her dowry? She will take all our lives’ money only to get married to some other family. We are very poor people and we do not want to lumber our life with another girl. They are curse. We need sons to take care of us and keep our generations moving”.

“A girl is a burden? Do not forget you all came from womb of a woman. If you keep killing girl child like this, whom will you get to marry your sons and keep your generations alive? Who says only a son can take care of his parents. A girl is no lesser than a boy is. We are the people who have created this dowry monster. If we stop taking dowry, we might stop giving it anyways. Instead educate your daughters, make them self reliant and then see how efficiently do they take care of your house”. “No sahib, these are all kitabi-gyan. Pl stay away from our internal matters”.

The argument went on for another hour until I took a stand and made a commitment, which forever changed the course of my mundane life. “I will take care of this child. I will be her father, mother everything. Don’t you dare harm this child. She is a living soul, for god sake”. The mob burst in to mixed emotions of fury, dismay and disbelief. Several hours of persuasion and threat followed and then almost at the break of the dawn, they relented.

It took few tiring days to finish the legal adoption process and another few tireless weeks to pursue ma baba to accept her too. “How will you manage beta. What will relatives say? What if when she grows up and wants to go back to her original parents. At least get married now… blah blah”, and lot of irrelevant emotional threats followed. A few months later they moved in to my small 2 bed room flat, leaving their palatial bungalow to share my burden. Sooner their worry [Apurva] became their joy of living.

I remember the moment when nurse handed little Apurva to me, wrapped in a sheet of soft woolen blanket, my darkness[dispair] has changed into a new dawn. Little girl opened her little eyes, looked at me and smiled. Her two innocent little eyes made every challenge look little in front of her pristine smile. I smiled back at her and she smiled again at me as if she is saying “Thank you”. Little did I realize that was 14th January morning, a date which took away my Rhea from me some years ago. The pain associated with that date was no longer the same. The day has suddenly become another joyful beginning for me. I lost Rhea, but found Apurva. In Apurva, I saw my Rhea. No body can take Rhea’ place in my life but then Apurva was not competing with her or anyone. She remained true to her name.

"Papa"! She quipped. On her little feet she toddled up to me, handling a little coffee mug from her toy kitchen set. “Papa, cee what I goth for you. Your ‘besth’ hot phil-ter coffee, even before granny brings her. Paapah, you musth drinkkk it before it gets cold”.

“Yes, my twinkle star. Ummm this is world’ best coffee. Bestest than dadi’s”. “Umm and you are the world’s best papa, papa” she said and rubbed her little pink nose on cheeks giving her papa the world’ bestest eskimo kiss.

3 Idiots, Twitter & NumeroUnity

2010-01-05T15:38:00.005+05:30

These days, every second person I meet, asks me one perennial question- Have you seen the movie Three idiots? However, before I could reply, they throw a bucket of advisory superlatives [another perennial object] on me- You must watch, it is an excellent, brilliant, superb-dooperb movie. “Not yet, I have though read the book and loved it too”, is my defense missile until I met Khanna aunty one day and this conversation happened-

“The book”? Oh, the movie is not as same that book, it is in news also. That Producer guy was so loud; he said “shut up to the journalist”. How outrageous these film people are”.

“Aunty, he just said shut up to a person in fit of emotional turbulence. It is just a plain shut up… “No no, how dare someone can say shut up to media yaar! If media shuts up, all these films will shut down [and vice versa]. These filmmakers have grown too big for their boots; they live on the money that we pay to watch their stupid movies, download some ringtones, merchandizes etc. But this 3 idiots movie was nice ha. Nevertheless, that does not mean a producer can humiliate any journalist that way”.

“True, I agree aunty but the poor chap, he has apologized to media later”. “Yes he is a poor chap; see what that publicity hunger writer bhagat singh is doing to him. He is claiming the movie to be his own story and trying to earn more money for his paperback books”.

“Aunty his name is Chetan Bhagat and he is not wrong, as the story is taken from his book only. Moreover, he is one of best selling Indian author and may not need such a cheap publicity”. [Producer of VVC films is poor. Since when?]

“No- no beta, you do not know these people. He already took big fat money from the producers and now the movie is super hit, he is black mailing to get more money and awards. That munnabhai guy wrote this story. What is his name I forgot, ya Raju Chopra. Is he Yash chopra’s brother?”

“His name is Abhijat Joshi and he has written the screenplay for the movie. The basic plot however, is from the book. By the way, have you read the book aunty? It was an amazing book”.

“No, no who has such time to read such big books on engineering colleges. They said on TV that the movie very different from that book”. “Who said that movie is different from the book, aunty? Media is on author’s side”

“Arre, Media to kuch bhi bolti hai. Aamir khan is saying and I know, Amir Khan is never wrong. See he saved poor Indian farmers from paying tax to British, helped poor mental child and even fought that Ghazini villain who killed his girl friend. He is so cute.”

“Aunty, he is a good actor and was just essaying the role and that child was not mental, he has symptoms of Dyslexia.” “You mean to say beta that my Aamir Khan is lying?”

“No aunty, ‘your’ Aamir khan is not lying. He has not read the book and therefore he should not intervene in this.”

“Then why Aamir Khan said that author is shrewd? He must have read that book otherwise why he would poke his nose. Are they doing it to promote the movie?” “No Aunty, the movie is so good that it does not need any publicity. Why Aamir is doing this, we do not know. All I can say is unless…

“No but I know that Bhagat person is lying. The movie is very different from the book, I heard. In the movie, two side heroes go out in search of their college friend main hero and this was not there in the novel. The author is saying so to sell more books, get bigger money, and go to Hollywood”.

“Aunty that book is already a best seller for some last five years. The writer has launched 3 more books after that and all of them were best sellers. In fact, they have already made a movie on his second book. The controversy is point less, except the makers, a million people has read the book agrees that story is from book. Moreover, scenes in a movie will be different from the chapters in the book as the medium of story telling is different. The basic plot remains same as the story of 3 boys who came from different backgrounds meets each other in an engineering college and their years there.”

“Hmmm betaji is movie mein bhi aisa hi hai but book mein nahi likha hai na ki dono dost teesre ko dhoondne jaate hai”. “Aunty, a book can be adopted but can not be completely copied as in a movie, a story is the writer’s imagination and a movie, a director’ vision.”

“Woh to thik hai but if this writer is that good then why did he make that crap call centre movie? Main aur Mr. Khanna went together to see this movie, together hamare head mein headache ho gaya. Khamkha waste of Rs 600 on PVR ticket. Hum to sallu ko dekhne gaye the but heard that he was also angry with the film. If this Chopra had seen that movie, he would never have taken this bhagat singh guy. I have heard that this writer writes books only for small town non English population and he has no literary sense.”

“Auntyyy [by this time I got my head mein headache], Chetan Bhagat just gave the story from his book- One night at call centre and not directed the film. Moreover, the film failed, not story. One failure does not mean that a person cannot start again. This writer is one of the best selling, widely popular English authors in India and that is more important than how many alliterations are in the first page of a novel”.

“Hmmm you are right but this writer signed the contract and agreed then. That Raju Chopra has even uploaded the contract on his website. I even saw writer twitting away to glory about the movie, director and everyone. So why is he making so much of fuss now, why was he quite all this time?”

“You are right aunty and I guess that is the basic issue. No, not about you being right but the entire episode of washing the personal linen in public. Both the parties should sort out the issue maturely instead of calling each other dirty names. Writers and filmmakers need each other and stirring pointless controversies like these will only add to creative loss. By the way aunty did u say twitter, are you on twitter? What will you do there, I mean wow what is your twitter id?”

“Hee he beta, you know na these days every body who is anybody, is on twitter. I never used to understand all this bird-whale business until I heard that apna favorite Shah Rukh Khan has also joined this twitter. Since then I cannot stop myself and requested your uncle to teach me. Funny as there was a time when my grand mother’s grand mother use to send messages via pigeons and now after 100 years, am sending message through this virtual bird err Is it pigeon or sparrow? Whatever, I am so glad that I can talk to my children pinky- sonu via twitter. God bless this twitter bird, for now I need not have to knock sonu’ room ask him to eat, I just send him tweet. My daughter is doing her masters through distance learning course via twitter. She says- ma its kewl! Sach mein beta, bhala ho twitter walo ka. Kewl must be one of her professors. Arre you also do lot of that what blocking things on Internet na, what is that?”

“That is blogging aunty and Kewl is not any college professor but it means cool but please do not ask what does that mean [my readers must be already growling]”.

“Oh! Blogging right. Your mom was telling that you were picking well and then you started playing some stupid farm games and keep hooked to it all the time. She was telling how many people were telling that you are very good writer and asked you to continue writing and turn author like many other blockers do”.

“Bloggers aunty”. “Yes, I heard how people first write blogs, become authors and publish their books. Who know you can be next Chetan Bhagat. However, I still think that he is the culprit as my Aamir khan is never wrong. See he saved Indian farmers from paying tax…

“Aunty, we discussed na that with due respect to actor, he should abstain from commenting as he has allegedly not read the book yet”. [Also, people ask me to write books as I write long posts [like this] and they get bored. I am no talented].

“Yes beta, you are so right. These people should call a neutral party may be someone like you to compare and help resolve the conflict without having any vested interest, why like you, may be you as you explained it so nicely to me. Warna mein kya-kya sochti. BTW beta, you must be on twitter also na. What is your “alias”? Mine is- My-name-is-Khanna; add me as friend”.

“Sure aunty. I would hee he love to help them resolve this conflict n regain peace. [Is a certain Mr. VVC listening :0)] In addition, my twitter id is- Numerounity! Tweet tweet tee hoo!

Dil TITLI Sa

2009-12-16T14:24:00.012+05:30

Dear Friends,

Thanks for your myriad and interest responses. Surya you were so close even though I did not give you hints like I did for Rammy & Mayank. Mayank, pet mein "butterflies" ghoom rahi hai? :)

BTW, Surya Kannan, Many thanks for your comment. It was so brilliantly written and wished for. All I can say- "Amen" and may God bless you too:)

Well there guys, this is not about the beautiful Airtel ad featuring Saifeena and Sarah janes. Co incidentally, this ad just came after 18th August 2009. What happened on 18th August 2009? Well, watch this video to know more. [Don't forget to keep your speakers on]

About TITLI 2009 [Tata Indicom Theme Leadership Initiative]

The video is self explanatory. It was an event/national contest that was kick started in the month of Feb 09 and after too many major hiccups [like project identification, team formation, corporate politics, complex financial/system analysis], the project still moved on and got better by the day! Then came fresh breeze of motivation in form of learned judges, critics and supportive friends. Hiccups were still there, but then what is life without any hiccup? :) This underdog refused to "hic" and here is our "hip, hop Hurrah" moment!

@ YouTube

As always, time for disclaimer: This is my 1st attempt of this kind, so pl be kind with me:)

Talking about hiccups, they did not end there. I wanted to share my this temporary "moment of glory" with all my friends here. One of the major hiccup that came my way [pl do not laugh] was to convert this video from movie maker to .WMA file. Guys, I already told you that I have never ever tried any such software or made a video before. I was just browsing through the pictures and somehow the idea stuck to me. And that TVC at that moment was another wow trigger . They say na- If you truly want something, the entire universe conspires to help you. Well I tried again two days back and discovered the solution. Believe me it was sooo easy- no file converters etc needed! Cool so I was ready to post but the software played kaput and storyboard corrupted, the song did not fit in and at last Internet connectivity got crashed for a day. Dude, never say die and never give keep esp for things close to ur heart. Finally things were restored and before any new crisis comes, here I am with another adventure [s]. Enjoy:)

PS: Special thanks to Airtel for coming up with such a brilliant song at such an apt time! I hope you won't mind my further publicizing your wonderful creative on my "personal blog" :)

Coming soon....

2009-12-15T08:50:00.003+05:30

The keywords are-
Airtel, Saif Ali khan, Mumbai, Ekta Khetan, August, Kareena Kapoor, Tata Indicom and some dreams!

Any guesses...

Keep watching this space....

Jai Jawan; Jai Kisaan & 3 Idiots

2009-11-28T19:32:00.009+05:30

“When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”- Paulo Coelho.
“Only if we know what we want”- Ekta Khetan

If you have seen the latest promos of “Three idiots”, you will understand the irony of taking ageing stars in the role of college going youth. [What else did you think? Another preachy post?] one hand its about college-goers as confused as George Bush (Jr.) when they are on the verge of deciding about career and future life.. on the other hand its a paradox of having 3 people we won't readily expect to be casted in this film, leaving us confused about what we want.. Do we want younger guys who can aptly fit into the role looking their age ? or do we want real strong actors like Aamir, Madhavan and Sharman who don't really look college-guys but wont let us even feel their age while acting the script out... ? Ahhh, did I manage to confuse you too ?

Coming back to alchemy, ofcourse I was never really sure about what I exactly wanted in life. For I wanted to be so many things. Like.. being a doctor (paeditirican/psychiatrist), pilot, teacher, leader... or maybe a farmer.Yes, you read it right. I always wanted to be a farmer. Management happened by chance [MBC], or maybe is it a conspiracy of the universe to bring me close to my dream. Therefore, what the universe conspired, Facebook finally inspired.

Yes, this is about my latest addiction to “Farmville” on facebook. I can play this game for the entire day and night. Trust me ! It is very addictive. For uninitiated ones, it is a real time [can I call it that?] Farm game where you can grow crops, rear the animals, harvest the fruit trees, build architectures and can decorate your farm. Interestingly, these activities give you Virtual experience points or XP and coins. The XP determines your farming level and coins, your purchasing parity & there are some award ribbons which adds to the former two. There is crop mastery, mystery boxes, lost animals and lot of decorative items. The game is an interactive, Mutually Inclusive and collectively exclusive [MICE] multiplayer game where you can induct new/other players in your neighborhood to exchange gifts, clean their farm and fertilize their crops too. Interesting? Well you have to play once to know what I am talking about and why am I so addicted.

Well well this post is not about the “Dummy’s guide to Farmville” [unless their product team pays me to do that hee he]. It is a story of my addiction and it certainly tells you about my conspicuous absence from blogging. I was down with a web 2.0 fever and the name of the disease is- “Alpha-farma-dopamine” [a behavioral cousin of dopamine which explains the smoking tendencies of ppl]

“Alpha-farma-mine” is the new virus as spread by/on facebook. The virus got its name from three contemporary elements viz- 1. Alpha Pup 2. Farmville 3. Dopamine

Symptoms of this disease: You are down with “Alpha-farma-dopamine” when-
1. You are not preggers still you have constant cravings; for Internet and cannot wait to go online.
2. 90% & above of your holidays/ leisure hours is spent on facebook playing Farmville
3. You abstain from visiting places/travel which doesn’t allow you online connectivity
4. You make new friends only to add them as neighbor
5. Your communications- mail, SMS, scraps, discussions or even chat spells in or around F-A-R-M-V-I-L-L-E [like Hey farmgirl, how r u doing? You made my farm look so good; Tee How do v get flower bouquets in farm]
6. Your FB home page is filled with Farmville notifications
7. You forget your friend/family’ birthday but remember that you have planted “pumpkins” 8 hours ago in your farm and you need to harvest it before it rots off
8. Your personal experience [if any]…

The P&L of side affects-
1. Social risk: Decreased real life interactions or increased online friends
2. Physical risk: Loss of appetite and sleep [ a syndrome where you cultivate oodles of veg, fruits n grains but forget to eat ur own]; RSI aka repetitive strain injury due to constant mouse clicking
3. Financial Risk: Increased Internet bills, credit card spend
4. Information security risk: I ve FB password of two of my frens, how else should I explain this:)
5. Romantic risk: Suppose your girl friend ask you to join FV for the heck of helping her on farm and gets upset when you do not meet expectation. She even asks you to share your FB password so that she can log with ur account to help her in farming and you refuse!
6. Your personal experience [if any]…

The FV virus is fast spreading pandemic and does not need a personal touch to contaminate. It has the potential to infect almost every user who comes in picture. The 40% of the facebook junta that is not yet infested by FV germs are basically people who have not yet tried/tasted/heard about this game or are busy playing “Mafia war” on FB

So, I was down with “Alpha farma dopamine” or AFD and displayed all of the above symptoms and compliance until it reached level 33, and continues. There were no antidotes but the time, which, has once again proved that it is a healer yet a bad strategy. The fever continues but it had made me quite weary. A young girl like me who should ideally be jumping in her boy friend’s arms [doing zoobi doobi do baah], was actually sitting alone with a bulky laptop in her arms. It has made me do some strangest of things, for e.g.

'Alpha Farma dopamine' se “Darne ka nahi; ladne ka”

The dreaded swine flu is a history now. It died a shameful death after tons of pharmacy & media houses made enough profits by capitalizing on its wave. [The new wave to rock the world is Google wave. This reminds that I not yet have my GW invitation yet.] However, it has almost similar symptoms as FV flu - socially contaminable, multiplies quickly and involves time-based treatment.

The prescription is simple and may be inversely proportionate to the cure of other dopamine related reinforcements like smoking, crying etc. Once you are diagnosed and self quarantined, you can either - invest the time in doing something creative like reading my blogs or continue playing the game till you reach a saturation point [Mine started showing already]

AFD as a tool for education, development & world peace
Farmville is indeed an interesting game and has exciting prospects in entrepreneurship, non-violence and world peace. It is far more productive unlike Robocop, Road Rash of the world. For e.g. If Miss Elsamma used it for teaching Math, science and economics, I had been a national topper lolz. If our erstwhile PM Mr. Lal Bahadur Shastri has combined this software with his slogan- Jai Jawan, Jai Kissan, “Silicon valley” would have found a new threat from Indians in 'chilly-corn' valley AKA Agricultural industry. Imagine its contribution to world peace. We can win the war against terrorism by spreading the AFD virus in Pakistan and other Anti Indian military camps. Instead of dropping atom bomb & threatening with nuclear ammunitions, the warring neighbors could lawfully visit each other’s premise, help them in clearing weeds and even fertilize the crop. It has such a prospect of converting the entire bloody revolution to green revolution. Green ocean strategy anyone? MNS thieves oops chiefs, are you listening too?

Think; think what all benefits AFD can bring to humanity. The boring management books will find a new lesson besides Mahabharata & Ramayana to teach strategy, decision making & analysis. May be some of the over rated IIM-IIT-ISB’ans will think beyond fat paychecks and “phoren” coolie-giris. May be we will have more people like agriculturists R Madhavan. It is after all only 30% tilling and rest is managements. I can envision Dr APJ Abdul Kalam addressing the entire world and saying we may not need million farmers, few facebookers are sufficient :)

Eeeeeeeeks I am spending too much of time writing this post. My crops in Farmville are ready to harvest and I must attain my target of reaching level 34 within 6 days without buying too much of hale bays like some of my friend do. See you. Bahbyee. BTW, I or my family do not remember the exact time of my birth. It was sometime early in the morning though-Brahma muhurat. Nor have they predicted my career path then. But yeah, ever since they have bought me lots of "runner shoes" though. And tab se "Bhaiyya All iz well" :)

Run ekta run;life is a race and farmville is no exception...kuk doo cooo!!!

PS: if you are my friend on FV and are above level 31, Pl send me “olive trees” and the new items on the free gift list for friends. [Some habits die hard:)] So bolo... Nah!...Jai Jawan, Jai Kissan!

The big picture

2009-11-17T13:29:00.003+05:30

“What? Letters have come ? Wow! Finally”. It was mid-September and promotions were still unannounced. Some blamed it to the recession and some chose to keep quiet. She was positive. After all, it was the much-awaited promotion of her career, her first official promotion.

This time the company CEO called each candidate personally to hand over the letters. She sat with baited breath at her seat, which was just outside the chief’s cabin. This promotion meant a lot to her, to her career, her years of sincerity, her education, hard work, family, financial independence and her own personal motivation.

With every second name called, her breaths grew faster. With every second passed, she died a million deaths. She folded her hands beneath her table first in anticipation, then in anxiety and later in an attempt to control herself. Her teammate was called to collect his letter and he came back with couple of other letters in his hand. It was not hers. “May be boss is playing a prank on me and hand my letter later” she thought. Hours passed and she still waited with baited breath, fickle hopes, holding that little tear still inside her eyes. They blocked her sight but cleared her vision. She tried hard with each passing moment to hold them back but in vain. They fell down her cheeks to her desk. Some cluttered her key board; and some blocked her hands.

She sobbed silently for several hours and when she could not hold them back, she took steps to the terrace, sat in the lonely corner, and cried. Her judgment passed but her hopes failed her. Despite the assurance given, she was doubtful and her worst fears came true. She has been a victim of favoritism and politics earlier, but she thought this time it was different.

There was lot of hullabaloo in the office; smiling faces. People were congratulating each other. She was back on her desk, trying hard to conceal her disappointment, her bitterness behind her work. This time no consolation seemed justified to her. She looked back at her past years and regretted choosing tenacity over actual results. She opened her desk and took out the crumpled piece of paper that had earlier offered her a lucrative option outside. In last four years, many such papers have accumulated. She regretted choosing her faith over her experience.

T’was five in the evening and the promotion enthusiasm was still afloat in the office. "Congratulations", "well done", "treat" etc. were the most used keywords for the day. The place where she sits was the delivery spot of good news, the hub of celebration. People were discussing their growth while she was sitting as a mute outcast.

Many eyes were pinned on her. She was still struggling to hold that betrayal back in her eyes. She wanted to storm her superior’s cabin and thank him as well. After all, he promised her to give that much-awaited growth in her otherwise stale career with the company that appreciates her work, but still fails to recognize it. She was fearless now; as she was stabbed in each possible manner, leaving not much stabbing opportunity on her otherwise stronger frame.

Not all murders are planned, there are some accidental killings too. She could not hide the pain in her voice when a business-head accidentally congratulated her along with her other two colleagues who were promoted. Life is a series of relentless horrors with one following the other. She tried hard to smile, but failed miserably. She failed again when her superior tried to crack a silly joke with her. She plainly refused to reciprocate this time.

It was 7pm in the evening. She was sitting with her superior and HR in the former’s cabin, listening to their lame story of big pictures and big promises. Life is definitely a series of horrors. She was made to hear pessimistic stories of various high profile people who too had undergone the similar phase in their careers a [It sounded more like how certain organizations have failed to appreciate its resources], trauma of the Indian population who does not have 3 meals a day and organization’s focus on “big pictures”.

Big picture? Is individual injustice is called “seeing the big picture”? Is suppressing a potential under convenient masks of policies “the big picture”? Is talking big and doing petty what “big picture” is all about? On the other hand, is it just calling organizational politics and inefficiency by other name? Or big picture is just another jargon that some managements have mugged but not yet learned. She has heard them talk many a times and she hence she was not surprised on their empty talks even this time. She suddenly felt that she was speaking to deaf people and not just that, they are lame and blind too. They were nice human beings. She liked them but she cannot burden them with her responsibilities nor burden herself with their empty promises. She sat there for few more minutes, seeing two of her most favorite people descending away to clichés.

She came to her desk, finished her work and called the day off. On her way back to home, she pulled one of those crumpled letters and buzzed the direct no. given there. “Hi, I would like to re consider your job offer… Yeah, sure, I will be there. Thanks”.

It took her many years, multiple efforts to arrive at that decision but she was not regretful. She was instead happy that she has not failed her self. She had not given up in terms of time, effort and dedication before calling it quits finally. She happily accepted her anger, pain and disappointment, took them in her stride to move on. Non-wishful compromises are the shields of people who do not trust themselves or their dreams. One should never compromise on their dreams, dreams that are close to their hearts.

She neatly drafted her resignation letter, folded and placed in an envelope to take to her office next day. She tucked herself in to the bed and had a wonderful sleep after a long , long, time. Her 'big picture' was very clear now and she did not want to waste a single moment not chasing it.

“The fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself, and no heart has ever suffered when it has gone out to search for his dreams”.

Disclaimer: the above story is truly a piece of fiction and intends no reference to any living soul.

Circle of life: [Part II]- The butter chronicles!!!

2009-11-06T20:06:00.010+05:30

[Before reading this post, I recommend you to read the part one. It will help both of us]

School days were over long time back and Little Ekta has moved up & above her test papers. The only test that still scares her most is a “blood test” or specimens like that. From the days of studying soil erosion to managing foil consumption in her kitchen [ahem] she has come a long way and so does her everyday tense-ions! However, she still loves video games, only difference is that instead of playing it on TV, she plays on her laptopie and calls it computer games. [And these days- Farmville/restaurant city]

Yes, I said kitchen. From business management to dupatta management to now kitchen management, motley of numerous interesting, challenging, sad and funny stories have filled my travelogues. However, the crux of all of them is- No matter what you do, where you go and what you achieve- Home is where heart is. In addition, in the heart of the home, there is a kitchen!

Similarly, the heart of our body is stomach and like men, one of the ways through my heart goes through my stomach too. No-no I do not intend to say that one need to be a chef or so to impress me. It is just one of the small jughead ways to impress this Dilton.

In the first of my trilogy- “The fat cow theory”, I have asked the relation between grass and the butter. Yeah a lot of you weed it right and now is the time to unveil the curtain officially and tell you the second story from “circle of my life” series. Game?

It all started when my cook Kakuli didi handed me a bread packet, some eggs and no butter. I was miffed that despite my two reminders she had again forgotten to bring the butter. Typically, of overall instructions given, she will abide by only 40% compliance. Rest all is accredited to my patience, forgiveness or finally self-execution. Her explanation was as ‘gol-gol’ as her eyes. She claimed to have checked with all the grocery shops in the nearest EC market, labony etc and arrived at conclusion that butter is not available anywhere. There is no supply since last few weeks and it may continue to another month or two. What? Butter is out of stock? Dodo!

No butter! How a young, single girl in town will survive without her bread & butter? Bread and butter are after all my bread n butter. It is as criminal to tell a school going Ekta not play video games and even younger Ekta not eat butter.

“How could this be possible”? “May be she did not check properly and is lying”, “maybe she checked but is not able to convey the right reason due to language differences” “May be she is correct”, “May be I am hallucinating”, I thought.

There is an exorbitant increase in commodity price but going stockless on Amul butter is unbelievable. The filmy mind started rolling- Lights, Camera, sound and Flashback! I was soon in to the black and white past.

Take one- Couple of day’s back I went to the otherwise C3 stores at City centre [The reason I said “otherwise” is an attribution to this great Indian retail chain, which boasts of Cost, Convenience and comfort [C3] but provides none. And why that? One, there is barely any useful stock when you visit them, Two, for purchases below Rs 250, you need to pay by cash else go to hell; we are not interested in selling. That strikes off the comfort and convenience. Regarding Cost, well the time when the entire world incl local grocer, Spencer’s, big bazaar etc were selling lentils at or around 50-60 per kg, C3 has it available at nothing less than Rs 83 per kg, keeping the quality, quantity and breed exactly the same- MECE anyone? :) Well they said “cost” and not “cost effective”. Therefore, you exactly cannot blame them.]. Therefore, when I visited C3 stores, I as usual found the store out of its many stocks incl “The great Indian butter". I anyways was not in mood of purchasing anything from the brutish coquettish store so I moved on after giving the store manager a good piece of advice. I was incongruously becoming like that lead actor from the latest “aam ki pyaas” commercial.

My “butter ki pyas” then took me to take two. I went to a local grocer in expectation of benefiting from the great-unorganized Indian kirana sector. “Dada sobe ginish to hoye gelo, achcha ek tu butter aache”? kya? nei? kobe aache? kobe-Kothay pabo? Kyo nahi mil raha? “Sawalo ke jawab to mil gaye but makhkhan nahi mila. [Dada I have bought everything that I needed. Ok do we have a packet of butter? What? Its not there? Why? Where would I get? No idea? Sigh].

My heart sank further when the shop wallah confirmed the banishing tale of the vanishing cream oops butter. I walked back home with heavy heart and switched the TV to divert with art.

Channel 1 – A young kanha singing “Maiyya mori mein nahi ‘maakhan’ khayo”
Channel 2- Bachchan & Govinda in melting moves with Miss Dixit- “Makhna o’ mere Makhna”
Channel 3- A young Meera with lord Krishna’s statue- Ye lo Kanha tumhara manapasand Makhkhan [mera bhi]

[Gosh, these Hindi channels are too much; switch to Punjabi channel]
Channel 4- A group of women churning butter and serving it in bowls with “makke k roti” [Adding fuel to my appetite, sadist]

Cut to Zee TV
Channel 5- Welcome to khana khazana today is our “butter special show” and our recipe for the day is- “veg Makhkhan wallah”, Butter Nan and butter scotch ice cream

Cut to news channel
Channel 6- A full fledged Amul butter ad taking on its competitor nutralite fat free table spread

Channel 7- Welcome to XYZ health show with Anjali Eastwal and in today’s show, we will discuss how to cut that extra fat by cutting your butter consumption [Arre hai kaha jo cut down karoon]. The show began with sinful sights of butter rich food- parathas, pav-bhaji etc where the chef pours dollops of mouth-watering butter on the visually kindling cuisines. Crime, criminal, cardinal sin!

Cut to Movie channel-
A b/w Kishore Kumar movie was coming. I heaved a sigh of a comic relief until this scene appeared where the great thespian is greasing his boss’s face with butter. The scene goes like this
Boss: “Arre yeh kya kar rahe ho” [hell what are you doing?]
Kishore da: “Malik woh mere dost ne kaha agar pagar bandhani hai to apne boss ko maska laga. So, wahi laga raha hoon- Maska.” [Boss a friend of mine suggested that to get my salary increased, I need to butter-up my boss. Hence, I am buttering you.]

Sigh…

Trust me, even if I had switch any sports channel, there too some sadistic butter reference would/ve written all over. Like- “Makhkhan lal” cricket cup [Sponsored by Haryana CM fund] or Bhajji & Sreesanth patching up over friendly exchange of Bhajji’s Punjab da butter & Latter’ mallu coconut oil or Bhajji & Sreesanth further roughening up with a debate on which is more greasier- Punjab da Makhkhan ya Kerala ka coconut oil. Alternatively, if you can spare me the horrors- team India featuring in a butter product ad with their spiked hairs, even more stylish cars and overgrown bellies.

Nevertheless, my cook was right that butter is really out of supply and so do its poor cousins like table spread, nutralite etc. Is it the increased butter export that dented my bread or is it another strategy of Amul & co to fuel up the butter price. At Rs 22 for 100grams, it was no cheaper and if we give statistics a chance over yellow revolution then Amul butter has hiked its price by 47% since 2004. Is it price manipulation or something else? I wonder how come the visionary, sixth sense activated India TVs *& Aaj Taks of the world forgot to feature this upcoming national threat [They must be busy searching “swarg-nark ka dwar” or “a girl who turns in to stone” or analyzing one scene from a reality show over n again blah blah].

My “butter ki Pyas” was not getting any better. If someone said- toast, I replied yes I will have one with butter. News, television, super market I was let down by all. Teleshopping? Nah! They will send me everything that I do not need than the thing that I actually need. Think Ekta think! Do not stop until you find a solution & till then do not switch your television set on:)

Beta, mann mein ladoo phoota aur dimag ki batti jal gayi! An idea changed my life by making it butter oops better. My B-school experience reminded me of Amul’s supply chain management. Well there is an exclusive Amul store in city centre and I can check there. I put my shades on and rushed to the store. It was thankfully open and manned by two sweet looking chaps. Bonus!

Alas! The store also ran out of it's butter supply but the chaps were delighted by my general knowledge on butter invisibility. Why me god? Why me? Khush to bahut honge na aap, ab kya? But Beta, mann mein doosra Ladoo phoota! The charm that pleased “hard to get” chap like Shahnawaz, worked wonders here too. The attendants disclosed the next supply date which was 2 days away i.e. on Tuesday, when they will have stock replenishment, limited though. [Is it case of hoarding/ blackmarketing, my mind moves in different ways and the experience of reality took precedence over my age of innocence.] I need butter after all, let the way whatever is. I can write letter to Mr. Kurien later.

I am getting old, my charm did not work much on the two butter scotch oops butter shop guys. In the age of pre-paid, they refused advance booking. Tuesday 4:00pm is the D-day page in butter chronicle and I cannot afford to miss it.

Monday afternoon I literally counted the minutes so that I can quickly go to the shop and get my share of utterly butterly delicious! Taxi, City centre please. Humph-Humph, rush-rush and here I am, just two step away from the nooky Amul store. Oh, you just pointed out that I ve written Monday whereas the store wallah asked Tuesday! Yeah, in over excitement I actually forgot that fact and made such a butter fly oops butter fool of my self:) [If AMUL CEO is listening, pl hire me as your brand ambassador and you will be hit on Viral marketing, word of mouth marketing & Customer loyalty] well you cant except any MBA To not talk in jargons anyways.

So, if you are wondering that whether this grown up Ekta MBA finally got her share of butter or not, yeh dekhenge “hum log”.

Come Tuesday and my mathematically challenged mind started calculating. Project Operation Butter, Venue- Amul Shop at City Centre Mall, time - 4:00pm; approx time to leave office 7:00pm. Risk involved-High. Mind is a very devious devil, it starts working once you are out of office. Now, can I do without Butter? No. Can I scoot out from office at 4:00, pick the butter and back to work? Nah, business non value added cost/activity. Can I risk it till 6:30 pm? Umm- High risk; low return; uncontrollable market dynamics. Can I ask someone else to pick it for me? Viable; feasible and cost effective.

Project BRBU: 'Branded Retail Business unit' AKA 'Branded retail brotherhood utility'. Who says women cannot read map? Women do not waste time in reading maps; they believe in networking. Vrooom I took a reverse gear and turned “Aagey se right” towards my light [read knight] at the end of tunnel- my True Value Hub store. I have switched to Tata Indicom and experienced the difference.

Our store manager came handy. I told him how brotherhood can visit neighborhood at 4:00pm Tuesday afternoon and help my butter crisis out. Guys, you just pick the butter and keep with you. I shall pick it up in the evening after office hours. Agreed, nodded and delivered. Mission accomplished and a new feather in cap for Amul's supply chain management case studies and me with all my fingers dipped in butter. I am loving it:)

Oh! If you are still wondering the relation between grass and the butter, here it is-

Got the picture? literally! :)

The leper

2009-10-22T08:43:00.006+05:30

I was traveling by this newly operational Howrah-Ranchi intercity express. I scheduled my trip in last moment and hence could not seek a proper reservation. The road towards the Howrah station was at its usual worst. We just reached the station on the nick of time and had to rush through the overly crowded platform to board the train.

At the time of entering the coach, I saw this weird old man sitting in the corner seat of the bogie. He looked very different with his eyes popping out and his skin a manifestation of unhealthy colors. He was very awful to look at, very appalling and smeared. He sat right opposite at the passage window seat. He stopped the hawker passing by and purchased a cup of tea in exchange of a shining 5-rupee coin. The hawker despite the sordid appearance did not bother to loose his customer and handed over the beverage quietly.

The leper indeed was a bad sight to look at and definitely posed as a big risk of airborne infections as such. While I was contemplating to change my seat, a woman came inside the bogie with two police guards and directed them towards that old person. She apparently wanted those guards to chase him away. The police guards happily obliged the lady or, whatever you call her.

The woman who called the guards to chase him away heaved a sigh of relief and despite of having a place well enough for 2 people to sit in, almost sat on me. For once I wondered whether who is more disgraceful- the woman or the leper.

Feeling disgusted, I tried to move to the other side of the bogie, and found that leper person lying on the floor near the washbasin. No, the guards did not take him out of the train to some place to quarantine. They made the leper to sit near the washbasin on the gate. Another look at that person and you may sense that he looked more distressed than dangerous. He looked like a person who needs urgent medical help and restoration. If not, at least, a comfortable place to sit.

My new seat was not too far away from the gate and I could hear many passengers crossing by that basin area. They cursed, humiliated and ignored the leper and moved away to pursue their own interests. None of the passerby seems to have shown concern towards the person’ condition. No, I am not talking about showing sympathy and saying, “we do care but we are helpless”.

My station came and I tried to get down without having to see that person again. I did not see him but I could not forget him. He made me to think that how beautiful is the world we live in.

We expect sun, moon, plantations, earth and skies to give us everything that we as a human want, but do we bother about expectations on us to sustain the balance of humankind and universe. We clean our house but dump the garbage on road or at neighborhood. Sometime, we do not even rise beyond the parapet of our homes.

In a way, all human beings become a leper or treat others, once or many times in our lives. Leper not by the virtue of skin disorder but by semblance of- old age, gender, lower financial status, physical injuries, caste, any disease, accidents etc. Our most loved possessions, becomes tradable. From our lenses to our vision, everything is disposable and subjected to secondary approvals. We discriminate, sympathies, make faces, draw conclusions and then start cutting corners. It does not end there. It is just one instance of “social contamination”.

Social contamination is another form of leprosy and unlike the latter it does not just corrupts our skin but our minds, our souls too. Those too without being in the same direct contactable area. No matter the techno scientific advancement, people still considers it as dreadful as an avoidable nightmare. They not just discriminate, conclude or cut corners but they also start spreading this germ of “social contamination” to many others incl the sufferer. The social lepers count their leprosy to be a beauty, and take delight in sins, which in the sight of God is far viler than the worst disease of the body. They associate with other social lepers and form a confraternity. A confraternity that equally hates cleansing and do not show any faith for healing.

Respectable are the people like Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Dr. Ambedkar and many others who have fought some of these social viral and set new standards. Unfortunately, they were just handful. Fortunately, they did not let this fact daunt their cause.

Would you agree that social contamination is like leprosy? Would you also agree that it is curable, needs treatment, and not just raised eyebrows and illogical objections? Would you agree enough to adopt the same in your life? Finally, after so much of agreement, it would not be surprising if many of us back off in name of many excuses to not adopt and be able to bring the change. Agree? Congratulations, you are “socially contaminated”. We are the contributory generation, which carries hi tech gizmos, labels and nano age living but failed social structures.

“Complaint I, as I had no shoes until I saw a man with no legs.
Complaint I, as I had no legs until I saw humanity with legs, shoes but sans spine, sans compassion.

Le embrouille Tag and Two awards

2009-10-09T15:49:00.007+05:30

Hectic schedules, multiple commitments, unkind work pressure, troubled relationships, bad health, travels, meeting friends and laziness accounts for my two-week absence from Numerounity and blog world. They shook, stirred and continue to do so. I have lots to do. I have to finish the other 2 parts of my trilogy- “circle of life”, upload my TITLI video, mail my interview sheet to speakbindaas.com, clean my house, wish PB on becoming chief blogger of RCB and what not.
Oh yes, let me also tell you that I have to respond to multiple tags that my kind friends bestowed on me. I am bad with tags, a trait that I am trying to work on. So, friends if you have tagged me in past, pl revive my memory. Meanwhile, LEB this is for you [Hum awards lene ke liye kahi bhi ja sakte hai]

1. What is your current obsession?
Besides consoling myself helplessly, playing “Farmville” and “Restaurant city” on facebook.

2. What are you wearing today?

Someone told me only your boy friend can ask you that. Is it not? But since I am single now-it is a blue and white striped broad shoulder top with my saddle wash denims.
3. What is for dinner?

Dunno, my cook is on leave. I wish I had a boy friend who can take me out for a lovely dinner and a movie.
4. What is the last thing you bought? Scented candles & bath oils

5. What are you listening to right now?

Chorbazari do naino ki pehle ki aadat jo hat gayi [Love aaj kal]
Aaoge jab tum ho sajna, angna phool khilenge [Jab we met]

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
He has not yet added my blogs to his blog list. He he…
7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? India, home is where heart is.
8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
Itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny, yellow polka dot…
9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
The house that you promised me in the question no 7, I would like to see if it is for real and if I can build my home there:)
10. Which language do you want to learn?
Ahoy Kudiye, ning ki galla korchis? Saru che, Gheun tak.
Stop wondering, it is a sample of multiple Indian languages and then some French, Italian and Chinese.
11. What is your favorite quote?
1. Veni, Vedi and vici [ I came, I saw, I conquered]

2. A joker never smiles. He has tears in his eyes but smile is painted on his face.

Also, I loved the words "Betu, gottu, adu, Shona & angel"

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
The "hum-tum" couple, heard they broke-off.
13. What is your favorite color?Black [makes me look thinner & fairer] & Red [for its festivity elegance and bridal value]
14. What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?My long T-shirt & my pink bathrobe. They are really cute.
15. What is your dream job?
Some one said- Dream and job just do not go well together. Well said..
16. What is your favorite magazine?None

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Buying an epiletor/digicam or going for a soothing body spa
18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas? Wardrobe not malfunctioning
19. Who are your style icons? Bongs- Kurta, chasma and jhola!
20. What kind of haircut do you prefer? Mid length, feminine and low maintenance
21. What are you going to do after this?Post it on my blog and inform the person who tagged me
22. What are your favorite movies?
No favorites, I like a lot of them. I recently saw “Love aaj kal and loved it immensely. Such an underrated movie
24. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you cannot live without?Everything is manageable except dry skin. Therefore, I would say- moisturizer
23. What inspires you? Love & comitments
24. Give us three styling tips that always work for you: A simple dress, clean skin and a warm smile
25. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?
I go for a “retail therapy”
26. Coffee or tea? Tea, but tere sang ek simple si coffee bhi kick deti hai [its a song].
27. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
I get myself drown in to some work or shed tears or talk to God.
28. What is the meaning of your name? Unity
29. Which other blogs do you love visiting?All my blogdosts and their blogdosts
30. Favorite Dessert/Sweet? Hot chocolate brownie with roasted nuts & vanilla Ice cream
31. Favorite Season? Winter-spring
32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Anything from rajma chawal to parathas, noodles, omelet, pav bhaji, finger chips, soups to ahem sandwich!
33. My question: Do you really want me to come up with a question?
Provided they are something better and unique

34. Ekta's question: What do you want me to write more on my blogs?
PS: this question is applicable for all my visitors.
Tagging time now. Here is my list-
Anupama [the wordsmith], Akash [cutie pie has different take on things], Comfortably Numb [deep thinker], Spike [very naughty chap], Aditya [interesting projects], Kanuga [multi faceted writer], Hary [Cartoonist from UK], infracaninophile [discover yourself]

Rules for those who are tagged: Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

PS: I am yet to understand the importance/ objectives of tags n all. All I know that they make interesting time pass and fillers.

Wake up Arun!

2009-09-19T18:54:00.007+05:30

[This is in response to the story contest as launched by a blogdost- Zillionbig. Before reading this post, please do read the background to have a better understanding of the plot. Instead of writing a story, I have attempted a monologue for Priya. Priya is the main protagonist, who unable to cope with the jeopardy life bought to her, goes berserk. This is once again my first attempt of this kind. Therefore, Pl be kind with me. Here it goes…]

-At home-
9:00 am: “Arun, Pl wake up it is 9’o clock in the morning and I‘ve already re-heated your coffee for three times chellamma*. I have to get ready for the office re. You know the new broadband that our company has launched, is bringing so many “impatient” customers complain. I must reach early so that I can come back early. My day is going to be tight today, Honey”.

“Arun, honey are you listening me? [Giggles] No baby, not now…Oh god, why do this phone has to ring all the time and at all the wrong times”?

“Hello, hi Anuja nalla iriken, ning eppadi irikinga? [I am fine, how are you doing] Off course, I am fine, trying to wake Arun from his beauty sleeps. I am glad that you remember his birthday. What happened why you are distressful? Now do not start the same nonsense again Anuja, why? Arun is here only. For heaven sake, why are you crying? What forget Arun? What da, what are you talking? Listen I am in hurry and have to let the line go. See you later”.
[Hung up the line, walks down to Arun]

“That was Anuja with her usual… hey you still sleeping? Hmm ok my lazy baby; enjoy your beauty sleep. I have made some porridge for breakfast and kept it in microwave, pl reheat it before eating. The juice is in fridge. Do not forget. Shanta bai will come by 12:00 to cook lunch. Yes baby, I shall eat in office. Now, need not worry about me…Oh fish, this coffee is spoilt; shall I brew a fresh one? Ok baby take care. Do shave today; it was so hurting last night”.

[Door closes; Priya calls for a cab for the office]

“Driverji, how many times do I have to tell you to wash the upholstery? You know Arun has a dust allergy. What? Yes, Arun sir is there, sleeping inside. Now you just clean it in case if he wants to use car today. I will take a taxi, no issue. Oh God, I said na- “No issue-driverji”.

-In office-
10:00 am: “Yup honey, I have reached office. Do eat your breakfast and take care. See ya”.

4:00 pm: “Oh these customers, why on the earth are they so ‘impatient’ all the time? Renuka you are lucky that you are handling the payment desk. Not that I am complaining, after all this is where I first met Arun. Arun oh! Gosh in all this mess, I forgot to call him. He is not well you see- later Renuka, let me first ring him and…stop talking rubbish about… Hey, baby, what are you up to? Why did you take so much time to pick the call? Had your breakfast on time? What shanta bai did not turn up today? Let me come back in the evening, I shall handle all her increased absenteeism these days. Oh, you have sent the car to pick me. How sweet of… Honey, let me disconnect now, Renuka is coming back and if she see me talking to you, she will once again start her lectures”.

“Oh Renuka, I do not understand what is wrong with all my friends? First Anuja, now you. Listen dear it is Arun’ birthday today and I must rush early. You know na what has happened last year; it was our Mehendi and Arun has to suddenly leave in midst for an urgent call of duty at Taj. I was so scared when we saw all those firings on the TV. With mom’s crying, me fainting, gosh it was such a dreadful evening. Thank God, that Arun came back next evening. These heartless terrorists, they have soiled all his uniform with blood. I still am struggling to wash off all those stains from his uniforms. First that damn hepatitis and then this attack. Wish we had not left Bangalore and come to Mumbai. Renuka…Oh fish, I need to rush, Arun would be waiting for me. You see, it is his birthday today. Bye”.

-On way back to home-
“Driverji, stop once at the Kormangla Signal, I need to buy some flowers and stuff. Come on stop giving me that puzzled look and hurry up; Arun Sahib will be waiting”.

-Back to home-
6:00 pm: “Sorry baby, this BTM traffic is gone to dogs and to top that this Renuka too has lost her marbles. Same old rubbish that stop thinking about Arun, Arun has left you and blah blah. She is crazy or what? I have even asked her to come with me and see from her own eyes that we are still together and happy too; people talk rubbish”.

“You won’t leave me na? Please do not leave me. No baby I will not cry again. I know that you are not like those men esp. the breed of my father. I know you will never abandon me. We shall build a home together and start our family soon. Let us have at least two children, a girl and a boy. Twins? Wow! We then will buy everything in pairs for them- two pair of pram, socks, feeders, rattle-tattle etc. Blue color for the boy and pink for the girl child”.

“Yes, we will have children. I want both of them to look like you, their father. Ok, the girl like me and the chap like you! Happy? If its girl, we will name her ‘Suhani’ and the boy ‘Sooraj’- Captain Sooraj Thapar, s/o Captain Arun Thapar”.

“Wow! Oh yes, I know am dreaming once again but it is a beautiful dream. Moreover, after ma’s demise, these dreams have become my family. Daddy was always away that I never knew what a father is until I met your dad. Your dad and mom have filled the gap of parents in my life. They have made me so much at home, with family that I could never ask for more. Sorry I am not going to cry again but I am missing them so much. Hope, they return soon from their trip to holy shrine. I could not join them as I do not want to leave you alone on your birthday”.

9:00pm: “I still remember our first meeting and our first ride. Oh Arun, I am so glad that you came to my life. A life where men had no place, no trust, you came as a fresh breeze, a blessing in my life. No pain seems visible, no problem appears difficult ever since you walked in, held my hands and we walked together. Let us celebrate this over the wine that I bought today and some nice pasta. Here, toast to our love, your long life and our unborn babies”. Cheers!

Next morning when shanta bai came inside the house, she saw Priya half-lying on table with an empty wine bottle and two glasses, half-empty. The silver candle stand was still holding the residue of the burnt candles. As Shanta bai leaned over the table to erect the stand and escort Priya to bed, she heard Priya whisper in half slumber- “Shanta Bai, why did you not come yesterday, Arun Sir had to eat outside. You know his present health does not allow him to eat out”. “Shanta bai I do not want to be awake now, I want to sleep for some time”.

Shanta bai nodded in approval with her one hand holding Priya and other hand wiping her tears.

[Readers, a funny incidence happened while I was writing this post. I got a call from Hyderabad office where a person called me up to follow up on the yesterday’s discussion. Yesterday’s discussion? I could not recall any such discussions but he insisted that I had. For a moment, I was befuddled. Am I being forgetful while writing a schizophrenic story? I insisted and asked him to check again. Thankfully, he rechecked the name and found that it is some other Ekta, Ekta Khungar, from Mumbai office. “It was so nice to talk to you though”, he said before hanging up:)]

Circle of life: [Part I]- Soil Erosion & The Fat Cow Theory!

2009-09-14T12:00:00.002+05:30

Once upon a time, when I was a small girl, I used to go to school. The name of my school was Holy Cross Convent School and my class teacher in standard four, section B, English medium was Miss Elsamma Varghese. Miss Varghese was a very strict teacher, always ready with the ruler in her hands and I did not like her as much as I liked my class II class teacher, Miss Asha Wilson.

Miss Wilson was my favorite class teacher. She was a very-very sweet miss who never punishes me hard. She will also not charge me much fine even if I beat a boy in my class and wrap his neck with his own school tie. But Miss Elsamma will give lot of punishments and if she were to see my English here, she would have fined me with lot of my nanaji’s money. [Gosh, it is so tough being a child but I will still try].

One day Miss Varghese took our class on soil erosion. She taught about various causes of soil erosion including cattle grazing for prolonged hours. The lesson was short, simple and miss said it would be in the syllabus for the next school unit tests. [I loved the short part as it got me ample time to play with Shahnawaz Khan and Cezo of my class]

The dreaded unit tests were there again. Miss kept her promise and asked the question for all 3 marks.

Original Question: Why we should not allow cows to graze over the same land for a long time?
Original Answer: Heavy grazing causes land stripped of vegetation and rain hitting the barren land cause significant run-off, hence causing soil erosion.

Ekta’ Answer: We should not…because it causes soil erosion, a phenomenon where rain washes off the weak soil that are supported by grass roots.

When I saw the question, I almost jumped off my chair. I prepared this yesterday during the power failure that switched off my video game and made me to pick the boring Social studies book. My non stop gaming turned my nani into Hitler, threatening to pack off my Super Mario Bros. She thinks that my video games are spoiling me. Today I can proudly go home and tell her how i knew 70% of my test questions. I still wish if school test were like Video games. Imagine if they develop a games on soil erosion, how interesting that would be to learn.

Next day after tests, Miss Varghese came to our class with test copies and another big stick in her hands. She kept the stick on the desk and dropped a bomb in the room. She said everybody passed in the paper but one student. My heart started beating fast. The classroom was looking like one big black board. Once I looked at the miffed expression on Miss’ face and next the sharp stick on her table. Suddenly "past tense" made my present tense and I turned black & white, I mean flashback.

[Flashback]Nani told me to stop playing video game and prepare for the social study test next day but I did not listen to her and continued jigging the Mario and his brother Luigi on my TV set. Then there was Miss Varghese who the other day scolded me not to play ink-ink with Shahnawaz khan and concentrate in her S. St class. [But this shahnawaz boy you know, actually you do not know him. He was the class topper in studies, sports, good looks and almost every girl in the class “lobhed” him.

[He was from section C that merged into our section B. Like nanaji’s business that often takes over the traders under his umbrella, we have taken over them…so snob ka sawal hi nahi hota] Every second girl in the class had a crush on him. How boring! It seems Miss also use to like him a lot and envy all girls who liked him. She made him sit next to me, making me an object of envy of all those stupid girls in the class. "Ek to waise bhi ladkiya mujhse kum baat karti thi, ab to aur bhi kum karegi". Teacher was so clever, she put both of us in the same "orange group" in the whole class whereas all other Red, blue and hee hee Green. You know the day when Miss was re-arranging the seating arrangement, ok that is a long story and irrelevant like Anish’ answer to the “soil erosion” question. Besides, shahnawaz was not the snob he meant to be and we begun to be good friends, having lots of fun in class. He loved my bycycle too but hey we are not talking about bycycle here, else Kanu will give me another award on writing extra long blogs..he hee]

A sudden thump on the table spelled off my past tense in to present participle when Miss decided to read out ‘that’ funniest answer in the class. Oh no! Miss pl no. I will not talk to Shahnawaz again [in front of you] nor would I tell him the math’s sum a day before you teach it in class. Please do not call my name in front of the class. Thump-thump 1, dhak-dhak 2 and there she read the answer-

Ques: Why we should not allow cows to graze over the same land for a long time?
Answer: We should not allow cows to graze for more and more time on the same grass as the more and more and more the cow eats the grass, the more fatter and fatter cow becomes. Cows should not become fatter and so we should not allow them to eat more grass.

!!!!!

What? I mean Whoopi! This certainly is not me, not me. Ya da ya da ya ya..

The genius behind this great discovery was this shin Chan character of my class and he scored -1. Thank God! I wonder what Shahnawaz would have think about me. Oh no, we were just good friends. Lolz…Regarding Shin Chang, i mean Anish? I am sure he would be in R&D team or joined Mtv.

All's well that end's well but that is not the end here. That was just the relation between the cow and soil erosion, so now can you tell me the link between grass and butter? Think through and think hard… will see you in the next post.

The Rain Song

2009-09-08T22:31:00.000+05:30

Hmmm its long since I have posted here and quite sometime since it is pouring non stop in Kolkata...So, a great time for feisty chai, bhajia, pasta soups and poetries? Until I come to terms with various scribblings in my mind, here's a poem that I have written some years ago, while in school I guess....

In July when it rains

leaning aside my window pane

Tin pan alley of pearl drop

some sizzling over my head

some dropped down my cheeks

And some felt on lips

Field beyond the paddy crop

drenched in water, immersed and soak

Rain flouirshes up to knees

its so splendid, to be ceased

Drizzling gets as long

Merrily i could sing

my rain song

Pearls still pouring up my head

lonely sight but not sad

Cloud bursts and ether cries

Vibgyor splendours over the endless skies

Pools of water on garden n' road

Wading ducklings, happy toads

Spread of greenary all over

Fumes of soil lingers the soul

Earth finds heart; Zephyr wraps in

a fragrance of whole

and a mud pottery brown cover

Tunes of monsoon; rhythem of leaves

tintinabulation of the roof top

tidal din of seven seas

fluttering butterflies & bees

And Merry humes of dover

Season of drench last for four

speel bound the dusky hour

Joy of lives; fun of rain

ungratified thirst & departing pain

Season of clouds come again

For Augustic winter likes to unfold

______

PS: excuse if you find the writing a bt outdated. It surely is :)

Crossroads

2009-08-09T15:34:00.000+05:30

It was raining since last evening, rains accompanied by recurrent thunderstorm and huge lightening. There was this house in the middle of the street, a house on the crossroads. Alone she was sitting in one of the darkest corner of the house with her eyes fixed to the windows. The large crystal glass windows from where she could see the thick dense rain. It was one of her favorite spots in the house from where she used to sit and watch the splash for hours. Today also, she sat there with her eyes fixed on the windows but her vision too cluttered to see the water outside.

The sound of thunder did not bother her, for she had too many noises going in her head. She struggled for hours, days to keep them away but they refused to leave her alone. The sound of thunder did not scare her, for could not decide which was louder, which was more dreadful.

With her hands folded in prayer and her eyes looking furtively at the window, at the door, she has been waiting there for what seemed like decades now. She was not dead but she was helpless, hopeless.

She gently wiped her teary face and walked to the fire mantle. She lit the fireplace with some wood, some papers and some fabrics. Yes, the pink dress in which she looked stunning will no longer touch her. She gave it away to fire along with the red wedding sari she bought for herself. There were some dried manuscript, pictures, poetries and letters sent to the fire as her homage, as her attempt to come abreast with the blazing truth.

It was hard to see them burning but she did not want to stop it. She did not want to try preserving it anymore. It is not so easy to weave dreams and then see them falling apart; it is difficult to sustain the injury stab after stab. She accepted that the fate of the waves does not change when they hit against the rocks. “If fire is my destination, I shall fuel it” and she started tearing her diary in which she displayed the beauty of love, life and dreams in form of poetry, in forms of intangible words. The diary, which was once her best friend, her surrogate mother and guide, to whom she used to share all her inherent feelings, has now started bothering her.

She was tearing all the pages where she had poured all joys. Joy of a phone beep a lingering voice, a much-awaited meeting, her first touch and that everlasting peck. Joy of stolen kisses and silent cuddles, joy of affable admirations in his eyes, the half asleep morning hours; joy which were beyond words or expression. With one hand, she was wiping her unbroken tears and with other flipping, the pages of joys that now dig her broken soul even more.

He never promised to marry her but he always said he wanted to. He wanted to dream with her and she started weaving it with him. In his eyes, she saw the face of their unborn child. In his arms, she felt peace, security and his presence she felt that she is alive. She wanted to have a home with him, and he promised her, a home made of love. There she was madly in love with a name, an expression, a face that lit her world. She was on top of the world with his love.

The glaring fire was coming to a halt. The flame took away everything she endeared and returned back only ashes. Ashes of her dreams, their collective dreams. Ashes do not have roots to lean on but fly wherever the strong, coarse winds take them.

She has though seen her dreams gradually dusting away but still could not bring a heart to accept it. She did not want her emotions to weaken her spirits; if at all, memories have left any spirit. She rose with great force and ran back to her room. She fell flat on her bed and tried to bury her tears, her sobs in the already soaked pillow. She did not remember since how long she lay there, how long she laid crying, how long until she felt unconscious. The night was long, dark and unbearable. It struggled with darkness as little David with Goliath. She thought this night will pass soon and she would wake up to bright morning. She hoped against the hope that dawn will bring sunshine and will bring him back when she wakes up.

She lay for hours and woke to another morning with rain, thunderstorm and dark clouds.

[Crossroad is my 1st attempt at writing soft fiction. I hope to have done a fair job at it]

[Also, this is a fiction and I appreciate if you treat it just as one. Art imitates life but life should not imitate this art]

“Change-o’-nomics”

2009-08-03T18:14:00.000+05:30

Economics always freaked me. Freakonomics tweaks me even more. That is well not the end to my freaking, shrieking, shrilling list. There is more and one of it could be termed as “changeonomics”. Ekta Khetan

The above statement will soon find its place in list of famous quotes from an upcoming freakonomist of all times - Yours truly. From years, world has truly conspired me towards the subject economics and acknowledging the GDC [Globally designed Conspiracy]; I shall explain the proposed theory of “Change-o-nomics”.

Before I begin, let us assume that- we all have studied economics sometime and we are patient readers who appreciate humor over grammar. So taking ceteris paribus as the baseline, let us take a random sample of 10 people and ask- Bhai Sahib Kya aapke paas Rs 100 ka ‘change’ hai?
99% of the responses so generated would be-

# 9.555 out of ten responses says “no” [Closed economy]
# 2 out of 10 will too claim to have Rs 100 only [Perfect Competition]
# 1 of 10 retorts to have only Rs 60 or any lesser amount [inelastic demand]
# Another 10% confesses that they have just given it away or deposited in bank. [Institutionalized Monopoly or economy of scales or restrictive practices ]
# 25% of respondents guides you to another shop, store or even Taxi Walla [Globalization]
# Eight out of those 10 redirected sellers will apply-

“IF (You make an impulsive purchase, Yes_change available, No_change not available)”. [Also known as Opportunity cost over and above economic cost]

Well that establishes correlation of change-o-no-mics with market efficiency. How? Consider this-
1. No one can be made better off without making someone else worse off: Almost true
2. More output cannot be obtained without increasing the amount of input [refer point no 6 above]
3. Production proceeds at lowest possible unit cost [Try to get the change for Rs 500, Rs 100 and Rs 50 and you will understand]

So what is "Changeonomics"? In economic terms, it is a social choice theory, which works on the “compensation principal” of matching the dynamics of “what is in my pocket” and “what is in my mind. Therefore, whether it is recession, or inflation, the flow of ‘change currency’ as in medium of exchange is a mutually exclusive event. This type of heterodox economics aims to explain how economies of asking “change money” work and how its agent interacts.

In simple words, it is the tough commerce of getting "small change" from public. Like two Rs 50 for a hundred ruppee currency.

The phrase “Mister, Do you have change for X rupee” has become a dreaded economic condition for money market and theorem’s of liquidity. By asking this question, one stimulates a market condition driven by equal demand and supply but low intend to purchase called- “Change-no-mics” [read it as change?-no-oh me?-eeks! It is self-explanatory]

Economics is freaky at times. And “change-o-no-mics” is even freakier. I am a daily victim, everyday I play the recipient role with new scripts. I travel to office by taxi and consider myself lucky when these taxis walla’s accepts the possibilities of providing me “change” for the amount, however rare occasions they are. I am luckier if I find a “messiah” having either the changes or the equivalent amount to bail me out of that situation.

Conceding the immense contribution of changenomics in my life, I shall dedicate last week as the “changeonomics week”. Having proved that “changenomics” has little to do with Economics and more with human dynamics, we shall be moving our right side of brain keeping the left side still engaged, marveling the theory above.

500-56-12
So last week, one funny incidence incurred over other. I had an appointment at VLCC for hair fall treatment and the moment I stepped outside my building, it started raining. Irony is that I cannot let my hair wet, as it would affect the kera procedure to the extent of getting electric shock. I initially planned to take a bus as the clinic was nearby and hiring a taxi would be waste. Accordingly, I had Rs 500 and Rs 20 plus some coins in my pocket. The rain got dense and for next 15 minutes, I stood hopelessly with my matching blue umbrella at main gate. The bus became a no-no option, so I settled on taxi and that was the second mistake I did. I took the cab a colleague came in, continuing the same meter, letting her to pay her share later. The moment I realized that cabbie does not have change for Rs 500 and I Rs 50 as change, I asked the cabbie to get a change from nearest petrol pump. He first refused, blabbered and after some resistance, parked in middle of road and walked to the pump. “Madam change nahi mila”.

We stopped at the venue in middle of market place, IDBI bank and eateries. I spent solid 10 minutes while experiencing all those six responses above. We finally received mercies at 4th floor of the institute where a faculty decided to help me with Rs 56 to pay the fare and release the cab. Phew! If you think the matter settled then read further. I did not remember the vehicle no and accompanied the office boy back to ground floor. Paid and settled? No. Being the other smartest fellow on earth [first one is me off course], the peon boy went around, packed all the food orders and then came back to state that he could not generate a change for Rs 500. Gosh! He did all this while I waited for another ten minutes on pavement. Moreover, this all for a net amount of Rs 12, which I anyways was carrying in my pocket. That also explains 500-56-12.

Incident no2- One morning, I landed at office gate holding the Omnipresent Rs 100. Once again, the cabbie ditched me. The local chai-pan wala ditched too and office motley is as good for nothing as often. This time my messiah was the main gate security guard. In incidence no 3, my rescuer was a female colleague who, apparently got very amused with my “accounts management, bad debt recovery and cash flow theories”.

Incidences like this keeps on happening. Everyday either I do not have the exact fare amount or the taxi/ auto rickshaw person does not have. It goes from 50 paisa to 50 rupee and I end up being the sacrificing party. Well every experience teaches you something. I for that matter learnt to- always carry over n above the adequate change assuming the cabbies will be cabbies. Secondly, be very stringent to impart with your “changes”.

Now did I forget to say that the theory of “change-o-no-mics” works both ways- Buyer’s end and seller’s too? Eeeeks stop freaking, stop freaking! A "small change" is always welcome!

Kolkata Blogger's Meet - 2009

2009-07-27T22:26:00.000+05:30

Dear Fellow Bloggers, esp. the Junta at Kolkata. Our “Shonar Kolkata”, is the host for blogger’s meet 2009.

Venue: CCD; RDB Adlabs Sector V, Salt Lake City, Kolkata
Entry fee: Nil

Speakers: Abhishek Rungta, Aji Issac Mathew & Saptarshi Roy Chaudhury

For further details pl contact:

kamanashish@webreps.in

[Courtesy: http://www.webreps.in/]

So, hope to see you there.

You may also like to read: (1) Kolkata Cyclone Aila (2) RCFC Children

Gitanjali Khandelwal

2009-07-23T22:05:00.000+05:30

It was one bright unusual afternoon when I first met Gitanjali. She turned her head from her soft white pillow and smiled.

Our introduction was set to share each other’s company, to cheer strength in her struggle to establish force with life again. She was lying in hospital bed in excessive bandages and great pain, a pain, which she tried to camflouge behind her, fragile, warm smile. “Hi Ekta” she said. And from there begun a small journey of a quite unique friendship. I often went to her cottage to meet her. Ginner uncle, Dr. OP Sharma & his orthopedic team and Plastic surgeon Dr. Malti Gupta were our second common links, and all used to be very delighted seeing us together. The last time that I saw her, was the day when she discharged from Swai Mansingh Hospital, Jaipur.

Gitanjali was a victim of a road accident. She was driving to her college in a two-wheeler when her dupatta [part of a dress] stuck in a truck, which pulled her mercilessly on the road, injuring her entire front side of the body. She had undergone major surgery and admitted in Hospital. She was almost fixed to a bed where she could barely move her limbs or eat anything. All she could manage to gulp was mango frooti, apart from the glucose bottles plugged to her body through intra venous.

In few weeks, she was discharged and taken back to home on stretchers. Her pain was somewhat reduced but not completely cured. Doctors said she will take time but will gradually convalesce back to normal life. Only thing I could not realize that some pains are not allowed to be cured ever.

Days passed and I never heard from her again nor could I re-establish any direct communication, except for those bit of updates from Ginner Uncle. Besides, I have left the city and got busy in my new life.

Last heard about her was that she has started moving using a wheel chair/ crutches and has resumed her college. I planned to meet her on one of my trips to Jaipur; however, I could not make it. Then, it was too late. I heard that she committed suicide.

She committed suicide and I failed in helping her to live. The world has killed her and none of us could do anything about it. I was so busy in my own battle that I could not be around her at that time when she was moving towards that decision. For many years even today when I think of her, I blame myself for not being around or in position to help her in her struggle with life, the world, its nasty ostracism, ostracism towards physically challenged, esp. girls. I blamed myself for not being present to fight with detractors, people who showered masked sympathies but could not nurture a bantered branch. However, blames unsupported with resolutions does not helps anyone.

That was mid nineties, internet & telecom was not as advent then. It is there today and still people fail to communicate. They speak, they hear, they interact but they do not communicate.

She was a young, cheerful girl with many dreams for life. I have not envisaged in my wildest thought that she will take this step. The mighty step to take her own life, to kill herself. . I even do not blame her for that. Somewhere I can understand her decision.

It was early nineties; Internet & telecom were not as advent then. It is there today and still people fail to communicate. They speak, they hear, they interact but they do not communicate.

I felt bad that I could not stand by her side but I feel worse for our society, which could not stand by her side. To this day, am angry with myself for not being able to anticipate and revert her decision. I am angry with all those people who were responsible for her sad fate, people who with their nasty norms, repulsive remarks, and unjust judgments made her struggle harder.

Those people if come to my path, I am not going to forgive them. I do not want to sound unreasonable or hypothetical but I want to ask one question- why our ostracism is bigger than our soul or our inner conscience?

I also want to ask that- Was physical pain the real reason for Gitanjali to commit suicide. Why do we have a society that only talks of living up to its norms, its ‘man-made’ norms? Why have we created a society that preaches but not heals? A society, which breaks the soul of a Gitanjali Khandelwal and leads many of her to take that lethal step. Why?

I still am angry, dejected and answerless.

[The sound that soothes me a lot-Sound of Silence: www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZGWQauQOAQ]

I am a Four 'Tagged' Animal!!!

2009-07-17T23:23:00.000+05:30

My new buddy Zillion big tagged me and I am lost. Frankly, I do not understand the entire tag business but since zillion flaunted my spirits by calling me beauty with brains, I shall oblige.

I am nominated under his “fantastic four” team and have to do “one two ka four” here. Gosh! I have to tell “four- four things” about me. Sounds boring, right? But before I do that, promise me that you will not fall sleep.

Four places you have lived
I have stayed in many places but my favorite’s are-
1. Ambikapur: Ever heard of this place? Well it is a big town in now Chhattisgarh, surguja district. My nani-badi [maternal grandma’s house], the place where I extended my arms to world, said, “don’t babes me up”. One dark, stormy evening my mom bought me to this place. I was barley a year and half old. A major part of my upbringing was done here. Amidst the melee of uncles, aunts, grand parents and others, I had spent a wonderful childhood here. My time here, my neighborhood, my school, my grandpa’s oil mill where I use to do impossible stunts and scare every one off, my first car in school and trips around the neighboring areas. Well I can write a whole book on my golden childhood but later.

2. Chennai: Though Nagpur was the first city, I had been after home but I liked Chennai more. From Satyabhama’ prison like campus to widespread IIT madras campus, to Polaris’ offices in city, to n-logue’ office in Gokul arcade, Adyar to hanging out with my friends Rishabh, Doc & Gang at Satyam theatre to galloping gooseberries, marmalade and where not. From those trips to ECR, Mayajaal and some dreamy days, so many first and memorable memories I had at Chennai. And contrary to popular notion, I loved the “madrasi-dom” and south Indian food+language.

3. Hyderabad
I moved to Hyderabad from Chennai and the day I landed there I was mighty apprehensive as to how will I live in that city. The progression was little tough in sense of finding a suitable accommodation and understanding telecom business but I enjoyed almost every bit of my stay in this city. It has a distinctive charm and terrific memories

4. Kolkata: I wanted to be here for long time, the city where I had my choicest cousin and my best friend and the city where I saw all of them turning askew and strange. Huh! Melodramas stay aside. I have done some amazing things here like visiting orphanage, children rehabilitation centre [experiences that I thoroughly enjoyed], some real breathtaking parties, tequila flow, Boat ride, roaming in rain, house hunt, being to dakhineshwari & Kalighat temples.

Though the city has not been as enticing as Chennai or Hyderabad or even Bangalore for that matter. However, being here also means proximity to my parents [4 hours rail drive] and off course learning a bit more of Bengali than what I used to know. Bhalo thake.

Four TV shows you love to watch
There are many in the list but I shall write about the recent ones on tubes-
1. Sarabhai v/s Sarabhai: In the world of idiot box crass, this one takes cake when it comes to comedy with class. Characters from Maya Sarabhai to roshesh, Indravadan sarabhai, all are unique and fun. My other hot favorite was “Dekh bhai dekh”. My heart sinks when I recall that how Shekhar Suman who was portraying the character “Somu re”, bought laughter even when he was going through the biggest personal trauma any father can bear.

2. Rakhi ka swayamwar: Whatever people say, Rakhi sawant entertains. I have a certain liking for this bindaas babe, which germinates from an idea that here is a honest girl who is trying to win her those “few years” of name and fame under the sun. I know I could have expressed it better but it is all right. Ha ha

3. Yes minister: It also made a foray as the “Ji Mantriji” serious, it was a brilliant take on political beaurocracy and games people play. Farukh Sheikh proved to be an actor par excellence, so did Jayant kripalani [My other most fav actor]

4. Balika Badhu: Ok we have enough stress in life and hence we restrict from preachy stuff. Cool but I love this serial for its sensitivity and sensibility. Next time when a certain Mr. Shrewd Yadav try to corrupt your parliamentarian brain by calling “Balika Badhu” as falsity that promotes child marriage, don’t send him pink cha$@*.. rather send him some consolation for having lost his mind.

Four places you have been on vacation
1. Goa: I have been there in the year December 1999 to bring on the millennium at the hottest spot of the world. After attending an unplanned wedding of a cousin in Mumbai, we rushed to the heavenly abode of sun & sand. It was amazing, would love to visit again.
2. Jaipur: Pink city! I use to visit Jaipur once or twice in a year but would not exactly call it a vacation. Except for the time when we went to attend an uncle marriage. I get to meet my lovely cousins Medha, Abhinav, little Rhea, Sunny-champ and many more and am so glad that they are in my life.
3. Mumbai: My first single and actual vacation. I wish I could have more, wish I could shift there for sometime at least.
4. Fill in the blank

You can see that I have deficiency called “no vacations”. So take a cue and plan a vacation, which I can write about. Takers anyone? J

Four of your favorite foods
Hmmm my favorite topic…slurp burp and yum
1. Pastas & Pizza: I love the spicy, tangy and full of vegetable types of them. Garlic bread and sizzler shares the list too.
2. Masala dosa: South Indian food is amazing, whether it is Fiery Andhra meals, sambhar-chawal or the evergreen Masala Dosa. From eating for “delight” to “mazboori” to eating for “delight”, some of my colleagues at n-logue office started calling me as “masala dosa”.
3. Rice platter: I am Punjabi at heart. Love the quintessential “saag”. Rice & rajma [red kidney bean], Rice & Chola [Gram?], Vegetable Pulav and mother of all rice’s- Vegetable Biryani. Yum Muh mein paani aa gaya [my mouth started watering]
4. Street food: How can you forget that I am a girl from India, and love all that street food from pani puri to bhajia-chai [sorry Ms de], pav bhaji, Kulfi pista, hot Pancakes et all. Have you ever tried the “samosa” from LAD college canteen or savories at Jaipur roadside stalls? If not, try man for you do not know what you are missing in life.

Four places you would rather be
Hmmm do not understand this question…May be Mumbai, Budapest, London, Cape town

Four movies you can see over and over again
1. Jab we met: Love the songs, characters and the clean humor. Class, class and truly a class.
2. Edward Scissorhand: A soft, touching, fairy tale sort of story which made us think and re think that what are we giving back to life for all the purity nature bestows on us and all magic that love spin in.
3. Gone with the wind: Tee hee he…Fiddle diddle dee. Frankly, I don’t give a damn my dear
4. Bucket list: I too have a wish list like that and I wish I could do all of it before kicking my bucket.

Four things u hope to do before you die
1. Have a baby
2. Be ultra popular or become a RJ
3. Get a bungalow, sedan and huge bank balance
4. Wait, why am I writing it here? As if someone reads and say- Amen?

Tag four people who will respond
1. Cartoonist: Hary
2. Phantom brown: amazing writer, humorist
3. Sujata: The interesting lady I would like to know more
4. Eye-in sty-in: My new buddy who is very enterprising

The tag Rules: 1. Link the person who tagged you. 2. Copy the image above, the rules and the questionnaire in this post. 3. Post this in one or all of your blogs. 4. Answer the four questions following these Rules. 5. Recruit at least seven (7) friends on your Blog Roll by sharing this with them. 6. Come back to BLoGGiSTa iNFo CoRNeR (PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THIS LINK) at http://bloggistame.blogspot.com and leave the URL of your Post in order for you/your Blog to be added to the Master List. 7. Have Fun! Questions & Your Answers:

1. The person who tagged you: Zillionbig

2. His site's title and url: http://zillionbig.blogspot.com/

3. Date when you were tagged: 28th June 2009

4. Persons you tagged: Given above- Hary, prashant Dhanke, Eye-in-sty-in & Sujata

Brides Wanted

2009-07-08T20:40:00.000+05:30

Ok let us not build around words and get right in to the subject matter. I have two eligible bachelors in my family, qualified to climb the “Ghodi” [Female horse] and don the “sehra” [headgear for grooms]. Well you would not have found a case as funny as this where a person is looking for bride for her brother as well for her nephew simultaneously. However, by now you would have understood my uncanny ability to do extraordinary things like this [Applause]. So let us move to talk about these two single and entitled to mingle brats.

Let us start from the safer bet, I mean from the person who is less likely to beat me after reading this blog entry. The bachelor no 1 is my elder brother, the first scion of Khetan family. From being a “once upon a time quite a sought after boy in school” to now a boy “in a land where barely any good-looking girl resides”, Amit has come long way in life. Off course, I am an exception in this land but we are talking about a bride for my brother and not the next “Lakme” face ok?

Ok so eligible bachelor no 1 is a nice, likeable guy who roams around the house in a ganji and shorts [only to irritate his wonderful younger sister]. Fine, he has inherited some dressing legacy of his younger sister but a bigger wardrobe than she does [sigh obvious case of revering son over girl child in Indian household]. Ok so my brother has bigger wardrobe, more no of hi-fi mobile, personal computer, gadgets, watches, gears etc than I do but that is irrelevant here and does not make me “woman of few means”. He is tech-savvy, protective, romantic, vegetarian, cannot cook for his life, zero in household work like cleaning, washing oops let us move to next guy.

Eligible bachelor no 2 is my nephew with a “Midas” touch. Biologically, he is older than I am but culturally am his “maasi” [maternal aunt]. Now he has very loving parents, sweet siblings, some pleasant relative; and an adorable aunt in me. And we all want to marry him off at earliest- after all God, why should we suffer all his bully alone? Jokes apart, he is a perfect TVC husband stuff- Fair complexioned, lean frame, committed wale looks and he wears specs too. By the way, do not go for that bully joke as he bullies only his sisters incl me. Yup with due respect to the biological factor here, I have a joint account in that category. Well he is quite protective and knows how to cook as well. He is great thinker and geometrician, a quality that he well exhibits in kitchen as well.

[PS: he is like Akshay kumar in “Kambakht Ishq” promos. Like him, he hates the wedding bells but unlike him, he thinks girls are “good for nothing”. So if any daredevil girl likes adventure sports, she will like him too]

Er, Ahem, rest other details will be given in person to the interested parties [along with pictures of Tom cruise and Dustin Hoffman]

Off course, the best thing about both of these eligible bachelors is [sighing] they are straight! Now that does make an interesting proposition in men’ world stunningly becoming a “men loving” society, however I still suggest that I do not have anything against the gross oops cross genders except for the fact that most of the guy I get fascinated with turns out to be a “gay”. Ae le! No controversies, please. [PS: All my dear Gay friends hope you will empathize with my concerns as this & pl restore normalcy].

Of Brides, economy and strategies

Coming back to brides for brothers and not giving recession a miss, we can consider packaged deal as well. I mean, get two in prospect of one, like two sisters, cousins, best friends et all and get them married under the sagacious notion of “one world, one nation, one marriage ceremony”. Before the scarcity of girls in society takes a toll on marriage and the projections of one girl marrying three boys hit the reality, let us get these two folks married to one girl each.

If you think I am getting quite repetitive with my female infanticide issue then consider this-

1. The world is not getting sick of doing this crime and you not getting well on the issue and fighting for it.
2. I am yet to marry and since the scarcity of bride hasn’t become a big problem as yet, I shall keep cribbing of being born so early and missing all that future excitement when guys will woo girls for marriage. [Not that they don’t woo now but think what wonders the theories of demand & supply can bring]
3. It is relevant to subject matter.
4. End of lecture; Let us get back to main topic.

What is my ulterior interest in all this? Well satisfaction is the key word. And celebration is another key word. Moreover, if these two keywords do not suffice then the third one is “machination”. Once my brother gets married, my mom could delegate her sonny responsibility on her “bahu” and can visit me frequently along with my dad. In addition, if my pa does not want to travel out especially to meet his daughter, who does not sleep late in night and keeps scribbling some stupid posts on her laptop, then he can stay at home and bask in glories of being pa-in-law.

There are several other perks apart from the usual notion of getting married. Like-
* Reduced pressure on me for my marriage at least temporarily. Good chance to ogle at some good-looking guys [if any] in these marriage functions.
* Younger brothers will have a clear path to get married soon. I, some respite from Anurag's usual yipping & yapping. Also, Madhur [younger bro of eligible bachelor no2] has bribed me a lot to help him steer clear road for him.
* The gariahat abode will have a pleasant femme factor to give susheela bai a company and I, another reason, lucrative one to visit there, while having someone to share my patience levels from his “Bhai-giris”.
* Marriage functions, celebrations party and apparently new dresses and if these guys get magnanimous enough- some jewelry.

The list of perquisite continues. Therefore, I invite applications from all young [age between 25-29 years], unmarried, well-educated, homely, caring girls. Only applications with original photos will be preferred. And if you have a dashing, well-educated and unmarried brother/ cousin that would be icing on the cake. There is early bird prize too, which I will tell you in person. So, hurry up before the offer gets close. Swaha!

Of Birthday Girl, birth-Gay boys and the Railway budget

2009-07-03T23:08:00.000+05:30

It is July! July, the augustic month of blue-black clouds, earthy rain and natural hearth. Finally, some drop of rain from the scorching skies of Kolkata. May be god was pleased with the completion of “Bandra worli sea link” in Mumbai and decided to shower some mercy or something like that. Come on let us not be thankless and must enjoy the blessings of life then looking at the weaker side of it. Otherwise, someone will again remark that I have a bad nature of finding flaws in things.

Coming back to July, July is a special month indeed. 4th of July marked freedom for American nation and 2nd July for the Indian “Gay nation”. Homosexuality is now an accepted expression of speech, race and preference. The Gay community is having “naz” on them and celebrating their so-called freedom. If freedom means to play against the law of nature, then so be it. I do not understand much about this whole- “gay” concept and hence will reserve my comments. However, I could not stop appreciating the vision of our generation. Since we are not able to resolve “female infanticide” issue, we have found a new way to deal with the upcoming scarcity of “human resources”. Voila, what an idea Voilyji oops sirji!

I hope the great Indian thespian Manoj Kumar will no longer have to cover his face with hands to sing- “Bus, yehi galti mein har bar karta hoon. Aadmi hoon aadmi se pyar karta hoon”. PJ indeed!

Never mind the PJ; we have lots of it though. From silver screen to parliament and budgets, our world is full of PJs. Here is another one- “Railways will not be guided by economic viability, but by social commitment”, says Mamta Banerjee in the 15th railway budget in parliament. Seeing the printed bundles of the proposed budget was another PJ in sight. Gosh, the amount of paper wasted and it looked liked the desi cousin of proposed Wikipedia book. Boo… I wonder if they actually circulate it to entire gamut and if the gamut reads it too. They must also publish the no of trees axed to print that “maha puran” in those copies.

Indian railways definitely need some more slices of digitalization and our parliamentarians, an advance course in waste management and technology for development.

The budget sounds decent and my newfound respect for my “trinmul didi” remains intact. I actually started liking her since the time she appeared in a popular singing reality show and apparently sung a “Hindi” song.

July! Ah! Also accounts for many birthdays, including mine. Which apparently is today, but wait, aren’t birthdays mean to be more of a sadistic approach than a celebrative one? I mean, it is such a disheartening moment to know that life slipped by another year and grayness stronger by another hair.

Never in my life did I despise my birthday on the fact that I am getting old. However, the truth has finally started hitting in with a sense of loss, and a sense of regret.

So this year I did not let birthday euphoria blind me and decided to keep it as “low key” affair as possible. I deliberately slept early last night and did not pick up any customary calls/ SMS last night. Sorry T Incognito, VNA C, Seema, Momma. Nevertheless, I still spent first half of my day with mobile in shower, mobile omelets, power dressing oops mobile dressing, mobile climbing and mobile sneaking. Mobile sneaking is a term when you are on phone; still you talk to several other people simultaneously. I thought of availing the additional leave option on birthday and anniversary today but dropped the idea on fear of mediocrity and boredom at home.

While in taxi, I called the office reception desk to check whether service lift is working, he greeted me with a “Happy Birthday” message. I thought the birthday mail sent by HR that did this effect until I saw a huge bouquet with the security team. He smiled and said- Madam, this came for you in the morning and would you like it to be sent to you desk? I normally do not take anonymous bouquets and unfortunately, I do not receive many of them either. I nodded in agreement and moved towards the elevator. All my way through the elevator and coffee machine I tried hard to figure out the anonymous, the magnanimous sender and even called all the usual suspects. I was about to call my uncle’s office in IIT Madras, the anonymous called and identified himself.

My office has gone ga-ga over the flowers. From Sreemonti to Pallav to HR head came watering over the flowers. Since then this lovely bouquet has become an object of envy, admiration and discussion in my entire floor. Thanks manager merchandising for taking me by surprise and gifting such a beautiful 50 rose’s bouquet. I do not remember getting a birthday gift like this, this way ever and I shall cherish forever the gesture [unless replaced by a bigger/interesting one…lolz]. [No scandals Pl, I got many bouquets by virtue of gift, self-flattery etc and none of them given by breed of any boy friend or prospect like that. End of controversy, if any]

My office too sent me a lovely table bouquet in the morning and of what seems to be a day of flowers, red roses, it was a red rose bouquet too. My third bouquet came in the evening and was no surprise as the florist called me to confirm my “new address”. Gosh, if more flowers come today; I have to plan a “garage sale” this weekend. Folks if any of you planning to send me flowers today, freeze. I would prefer cash. Ha ha. I am eager to see what my dad has planned for my gift in the evening. My mom apparently disclosed her discussion with dad on this matter though. So am sure of something in waiting. Wish if it is a Ghaghra or a piece of jewelry! After all, I am a girl and once in my life I can wish stuffs that a girl’s dreams are made of. By the way, I said I despise this birthday but that does not go with gifts you seeJ. The only logic that goes with ‘em is- The more, the merrier.

This birthday also made me nostalgic. I remember, this time last year, I was the only girl sitting in the regional review meeting at Swabhumi. It was a different type of fun and I appreciate my boss’ amazing timing to conduct a review on that day, on that location and inviting me to be a part of it. I happily boasted the hi-tea as my titled treat to all. Hee he. However, my boss was not aware it was my birthday that day and or even today. Never mind. I miss that day, that fun and that fiasco that created due to my cell phone battery outage in the evening.

Many things make July a very special month. Remember KBC was also launched on third of July. No wonder, it became such a big success in Indian television history, resurrecting back Mr. Bachchan’s second innings. Ha ha. I still remember my childhood days when I use to get the biggest cake in town and bestest [if there is a word like that] dress for the occasion. Back then, everything of mine need to be best, from the chocolates that I will distribute in my class, to the box that contain it, to the return gift for my friends to the menu of my birthday party.

There is one more angle to birthdays. The more I expected, the more I was let down and vice versa. It goes same with grey hairs and ageing process. One development over the years, my parents started remembering my birthday. Moreover, thanks to social networking sites that even your friends remember it.

By this time, I have finished my duties of an inbound call centre operator cum mailing department. [From orkut, facebook, Google groups and a beautiful mail from Anita di, I have my fingers on keyboard and head on my screen] The fizz has fizzled and I am back to my usual day. Such a short-lived life of a birthday! Come six o’clock, I shall wind up my reports, my laptop and back to my empty nest and emptiness of a cable TV. May be I can coerce dad for a dinner out or treat myself to a good lazy weekend coming tomorrow.

Michael leans to rock

2009-06-27T17:00:00.000+05:30

A sad goodbye to a man who made millions happy!!!

It is still hard to believe but true; Michael Jackson is no more alive. Mortality consumed the legendary singer and the cardiac arrest was an unfortunate excuse.

The fact has not sunk in yet. He left a “can not be filled” void. Controversies aside, this is to the person, who made us smile and scream in a voice louder than we could. [When I was composing it I was singing it to the tune of- “I remember the time I had my first smoke”, an anti smoking campaign song, sung by Gary lawyer if you remember]

1. I “remember the time”,
When a “rockin’ robin” from Indiana
“With a child’s heart”, “shoo-be-doo-be-doo-da-day” my way
With that “Smile”, a “2000 watts” smile
That was the beginning of “A brand new day”.

“You are not alone”, he “screamed” in “melody”
He said-“Pretty young thing”, “my girl”, my beautiful girl”
“You’ve got a friend” in me
“Give in to me” “just a little bit of you”
“Come together” and let us “fly away”
“Keep faith” for “we wanna be starting something”

When things go “bad”, “you have got a friend”
So “call on me” and “I’ll be there”.
“You can cry on my shoulder” or “be a lion”
For whatever it is, “don’t let it get you down”
“Don’t stop till you get enough”
“Give one more chance”, “get on the floor”, and dance

It was a “break of a dawn” and I was “up again”.
For “someone in dark” never felt so “happy” again
“I can’t help it” and spread the “wings of my love”
“Here I am” and “I want to rock with you”

“Black or white”, “Music and me” were never the same
“On the line”; “off the wall”, “He is the wizard”, I must say

“Mind is the magic”; “working day & night”
From “Ben” to “Billy” and the “Ghosts” “In the closet” to
“Bad” and “dangerous” made a “History”
So “Invincible”, such a “Thriller”

“Dear Michael”, “I just can’t stop loving you”
“Euphoria” is “The way you make me feel”
“You really got a hold on me”; “We’ve a good thing going”

2. “Tell me I am not dreaming” for “There is a blood on dance floor”
The “Man in the mirror”, the “stranger from Moscow”
“The Dancing machine”, “All things you are”
“Love is here”; “Why” have you “Gone too soon”

“Don’t walk away”, “I need you”
“Heaven can wait”, “Cinderella stay a while”
Let sing a new “Earth song”; let us write “The greatest show on earth”
Once again, “Heal the world” and “touch the one you love”

3. “This time around” when you have gone
“Ain’t no sunshine”, ain’t no “Morning glow”
“Little Susie” “cry” and “Maria” is “Speechless”
“Lonely teardrops” and “there is blood on dance floor”

“Farewell my summer love” though I can “never say goodbye”
But “You can’t win”, what the destiny decides

“It’s too late to change the time”, too late to “beat it”
For time is a “smooth criminal”
For it is “human nature” which slowly forgets the dead
For “they really don’t care about us” even when we are alive
songs will come; new names will emerge
“Tabloid Junkie” will find new “Carousel”
And new “butterflies”...

However, I still “cry”, for it is so difficult to say goodbye.

“Give one more chance”, “Burn this disco out”
“Get on the floor”, and dance

“Don’t stop till you get enough”
“Give one more chance”, “get on the floor”, and dance

PS: All text under " are the name of various song/track of MJ

“The dubious case of Shiney Ahuja”- Story of a hero who raped his way to jail

2009-06-24T18:39:00.000+05:30

June 14th, Afternoon- The neighbor of actor Shiney Ahuja’s saw his [ahuja’s] teenage maid crying and leaving distressed.

June 14th, evening- Ahuja’s distressed maid lodged a complaint at Oshiwara’s police station against the actor for allegedly raping her. The girl was immediately sent to Nagpada police hospital for a medical examination. Reports suggested that she was “Physically violated”.

June 14th, night: Shiney Ahuja arrested at his apartment. He was partying with a male friend. When police called him to enquire about the maid’s complain, he allegedly said- things like this happen.

June 15th- The news of the actor’s arrest swarmed all major news channels. The actor accepted his misdeed and suggested it as a case of “consensual X”.

June 15th- The actor’s wife Anupam ahuja flew from Delhi to Mumbai to be by her husband’s side. She suggested the entire episode as “framed” and his husband’s confession is “Fabricated”.

June 16th and forth: News and media flooded with Shiney Ahuja’s story, analysis and all sorts of coverage. From quotes of dismayed bollywood colleagues to wife-in-Shiney-armor, all had their share of say but nothing could helped Shiney from spending his current days in police custody.

This is an ideal story of a “gangster” whose “hazaron khwahishein aisi” made him go so weak on “woh lamhe” that he “hijack-ed” the poor maid and allegedly “sin-ed” against her. Now “har pal” his “zindagi rocks” at “Metro’” court & police custody.

“Conspiracy” she cried
There is a mixed reaction to this incident. Industry expressed shock and sworn Shiney is a good man. The good man stated it was consensual sex and “things like this happen”, the maid said she was raped. The medical reports shows proof of physical violation but the actor’s wife says her husband is a shy and introvert person, incapable of committing a “crime of passion” like this. And the media is shouting “TRPs” and increased “TRPs”.

So, what is a story without a twist? No sooner, the wife on warpath cried, “Framed” and “Fabricated”, stories of a probable design started making rounds, giving the case a completely new twist. It even bought a new character to conspiracy- gambler boyfriend of the maid. Hmm what doesn’t kill you makes a good masala potboiler.

So, is it a crime of passion or a well-planned act or a plot against the actor? Well who knows other than Shiney Ahuja himself and the maid. Both seem to play who-dunnit game for some more time.

When it rains, it pours too. So, what will be the outcome of this all-new controversy? Ummm few guesses-

1. Shiney Ahuja will shift his residence from Oshiwara’s Tarapore towers to some place else and the event will die its slow death. [Definitely possible]
2. Mrs. Anupam Ahuja will come back to live with her “lonely” husband” [Possible]
3. Out of court settlement [possible]
4. The parties will keep on changing their statements again and again much to the mediocrity of media and readers [Highly possible]
5. Ahuja’s sinking Bollywood career would further demolish, take a pause and may be is resurrected. [Emraan hashmi will get a contender, eh! Rest we hope for best]
6. Labs report may stink fishy and entire case will be reverted. [Always Possible]
7. Oh yes, most important the guilty party will be identified and punished or may the non guilty party gets the punishment [Always Possible]
8. Mahesh Bhatt might make another “autobiographical” movie. [Quite Possible]
9. Shiney’ soon to be release movie with Ms Zeity Printa will be a hit. [Possible]
10. More twists in tales will come. [Possible]

Whatever the consequences will be, the damage is being done. Even if it turns out a matter of a consensual case or Shiney comes ‘shining clean’, things are not going to be same again, Not only for Shiney and for his famous maid, but also for all people around. Imagine what kinds of difficulties bachelor brigade will face and the over growing tantrums of maidservants. Gosh.

On a serious note, whatever the result will be, one thing is sure. Celebrities, actors, socialites or business barons, should never allow their success or arrogance to get the better of sense and act as if they are over and above the law. Moreover, when they do it, they must accept the consequences and not accelerate unnecessary public sympathy. They should not come back crying, saying that they are been made victim of their popularity and their cases are over hyped.

However, rape is a serious crime.

Channel Rape

The word molestation, gang rape and physical exploitation have become latest national pastime. Am neither joking nor making light of the situation. Switch on television and you will find news flooded with increased incidences of rapes and gang rapes.

After the Surat gang rape case, many more such cases came into light. In one case, an auto driver kidnapped an adolescent girl and transported her to a different city where he with a gang of people tortured her for 18 days until she eloped to save her life. In second case, a man misguided a foreigner woman to his vehicle, lured her for a free lift and took her aboard. Later he along with his friend physically abused the girl in the moving vehicle for two long hours.

In addition, there was another story of a man acting fresh on his house cleaner, a boy who raped his girlfriend and MMSed it to folks. Many more piteous and sad incidences take place everyday. We are a country, where on one side we worship woman in form of goddess Durga & Kali, on other hand curse, abuse our wives, daughters and sisters, and allow our citizens to rob the pride of a woman. That too not just by rape, but also through eve teasing, domestic violence, body trafficking, discrimination, foeticide and infanticide and what not.

Long live democracy!!!

Relevant read
Khoya Khoya Chand
Nepal agitation

T
9uwvdi5tay

The bizarre of OZ: Is Curry bashing any solution for Brain drain or to Recession or an act of racism?

2009-06-13T22:52:00.000+05:30

Shravan Kumar was stabbed with a screwdriver by a group of teens and is still battling for life in a Melbourne hospital. Upkar Singh was allegedly murdered and his dead body was found on railway the tracks. Rajesh Kumar has been attacked with a petrol bomb and suffered severe burns. Baljinder singh and Sourabh Sharma were bashed too.

Over last fortnight, increased incidencts of Indian students being victim of racial assaults in Australia being reported in news and media. After “Banglored” a new word is added in our lexicon suggesting the movement as Curry Bashing.

For the uninitiated, the term-curry bashing means hunting down the Indians and beating them.
With over 20 such assaults reported, Question is who is next or how many more and how long?

Is it purely racist lobbying or mere an opportunistic robbery attack? Is it a cultural outcome of global recession or a sheer incident of degrading human values? Is it another blow on faith on our government or a fad that will pass soon? Is it that jingoism has found a new target or a new buyer in media?

Or is there more than what meet the eyes?

In recent years, Australia has become a preferred destination for Indian students seeking to study abroad. Especially after the 9/11 fiasco that lead to tightening of guidelines in USA. Nearly 97000 Indian students are studying in Australia which is a good percentage of Asian population in Australia.

Plight is that most such assaults go unreported, out of fear. Fear of further brutalities, fear of loosing opportunities and fear of fear per se. Indian students do not fight back like African, Chinese or Korean students. Some Indians claim that they are treated as the cash cows with the high entry fee they pay and slaughtered when required. [Well, I may not fully agree with that though]

If it is for recession than it must not be ignored that India is the 4th biggest export market for Australia and talk of free trade treaty is on. But only if that’s the sole underlying reason.

Xenophobia could be a strong contender though. This could also be contributed to the herd mentality of people who forms their own ghetto and do no assimilate. But have you ever pondered why they don’t?

What will be the outcome of this fiasco? Will Indian parents stop sending their children abroad for the fear of racist attacks? But then where would they find a place free from discrimination on this earth?

On our own national turf, home hoodlums periodically target a ‘chosen’ race to keep the electoral votes rolling. Then why is there so much of hullabaloo on Australia bashings? Or why blame UK for that matter? Racism is one big religion in our home turf. India a home to more than 100 languages, where after every 5 kms a new culture could be found, cannot help struggling good deal of racism and various other discriminations. From the skin texture to caste to language to gender to even physical disability, discrimination stands tall with its ugly head up.

But we can’t start disliking a country as a whole if such disgusting events happen there. Can we? The greatest woe of India is that it is so entangled in home discrimination that it has turned blind eye to the world discrimination. Guess what would the combined effort of Sri Ram Sena, Bajrang dal or the anti Hindu brigade have done for the country in its response against the discrimination minted to ‘their’ countrymen abroad.

There is no denial that despite our proven expertise, India is still treated as the “third world country”. Why? Because may be we are too busy to make India unsafe for Indians.

May be to combat such misanthrope some of the Mumbai dreams migrated to Australian skies. We thought that instead of having a forgetful and unrewarding death in Mumbai, its better to migrate to ‘Down under’ but we forgot “as we sow or let sow, so shall we reap”.

It takes a racist to catch a racist. It is like wearing black on white skin to make it look more beautiful especially on social events. But the same color black in social terms is far from beautiful and becomes inferior and undesirable.

Discrimination has splendored ugly personalities. From Apartheid to Marathi Manus Brigade to deriding reference of calling North east populace as “chinky”, people from UP-Bihar as “Bhaiyyas”, Africans as “Niggers”, treating Dalits still as untouchables, handicaps as social taboo, the list is endless. And why just India; around the world discrimination has gifted many dirty offenses to mankind and co-existence.

Open your eyes and you may find Pauline Hanson and Thackeray within. After Germany and Italy, Australia is soon going on the way of Hitler and Mussolini. Interestingly, a little colorless birdie chirped that Mr. Kevin Rudd is learning Cantonese language.

Brain drain is a bigger issue, bigger than being one of the most common topics for academic debates, elocution and works. Deep in my heart I believe that brain drain has important links to solve such acts of aggression. Can we create opportunities in our own geographies rather than running behind the ones created elsewhere? Why do I need to go to IIT only to be the world class engineer? Why can’t the similar quality be awarded to me at my local engineering college or new opportunities created?

It is high time for government of India as well as big industrialist like Mukesh Ambani, Ratan Tata, Rahul Bajaj, Anil Ambani or IT czar like Narayan Murthy, Azim Premji to open world class higher education institutions in India. This will surely help Indians who opt for studying in foreign countries irrespective of high cost involved, who may opt for getting admission in these to be opened institutions.

Whatever the reasons are racism as an outcome is highly derided. Whether in India, Australia, UK or any other place under the sun, it bears no right to discriminate people on basis of cast, color or race. Let’s not stoop that low. Let’s not, please!

At the end of the day, as somebody suggested, human race is a curry by another name. Call it Coconut curry, Macher jhol, Rogan josh or Rista. All of them are bashed, beaten & cooked to serve hungry machinations. And mankind seems to say “loving it”.

Relevant Reads:

Curry bashing & Indian tourism

Zip, Zap and Zoozoo

2009-06-03T18:15:00.000+05:30

Indian Premier League aka IPL, has stirred many storms in the teacups of Indian cricket and media. From frenzy advertisement to back burner gossips, big buyouts to even bigger controversies, IPL season 2 went out [out to SA] to become a bigger Hit than season 1.

The event didn’t end up being a mere sport event. IT has metamorphosed cricket into a bigger industry with Bollywood, corporate, media et all, openly lurking with ladles to sink their teeth deeper in the hot ‘IPL’ pie. IPL turned into India’ first step in $103 billion merchandizing and licensing business.

In a cricket crazy nation like India, IPL was served “nimbu maar ke”. From the innovative 20-20 concept to interesting multi nation, multi player concept to extra garnish of celebrit-ism to feisty cheerleaders. Everything about IPL rocked, rocketed and created fireworks.

Such was the magnitude of the game that even the little commercial breaks created ripples.
The game has not just given a fresh lease of life to the careers of ageing celebrities, but it had also instilled life to some ‘fictitious characters’ making them bigger celebrities, overnight.

Just to recall, what was your main star attraction this season? Was it Kolkata Knight Riders, Shilpa Shetty-her beau-Rajasthan Royals, Mumbai Indian’ Idea, Zingy Ms Ziety Printa [oops Priety Zinta] or Katrina Kaif’s Jai ho? Or is it that blogs which created havoc in websphere? Or is it the fighting, grumbling, screaming, giggling, teasing aliens like creatures during those short commercial breaks?

Yup, I am talking about the Fake IPL player and even superior Zoozoos.

Zoozoo who? The scrawny creatures promoting everything from Cricket alerts, Musical greetings, beauty alerts, live games etc for Vodafone in those commercial breaks. Oh but they weren't aliens. They were real human beings stuffed into body suits and white plastic fiber heads. The time when I started scribbling this post, they had 10 commercials on air, promising to reach up to 30. By the time I progressed writing, I lost count.

Had it not been pihu’ quest, I might have not completed this post. Interestingly, he didn’t like the zoozoo character much and still missed the ‘teary eyed’ pug that Vodafone launched last IPL season.

Coming back to Zoozoos, though there is nothing much left to reveal about them now, but I loved the way it stole thunder right under the nose of big celebrities. From “happy to help” to VAS Zoozoos, another feather in the creative caps of Vodafone, taking the company’s brilliant branding to newer heights and how. This crossover of the Casper and Pillsbury characters have over 60000+ fans in face book, numerous videos on YouTube and a dedicated micro site by Vodafone.

And not just that when I opened my orkut account, I saw pictures of a couple of zoozoos adorning my ‘friend’s name’, emoticons, quizzes on Zoozoos. One such was-which kind of Zoozoo are you? If you are expecting the result in this line, well the answer is “Daring” Zoozoo.

Talking about Zoozoo’ popularity, well they seem to be everywhere. From social networking, wallpapers, ringtones, games to local ice cream parlor to PETA awards.

Zoozoo is definitely a brilliant leap in Indian advertising. It has apparently bought back “Satyajit Ray’s” ‘Ang’ back from west. For Indian telecom, it is a par excellent idea to catch eye balls and grab plummeting telecom ARPU.

For some it was an interesting watch, for some selling skill and for some a good change from usual cola wars during matches. But for me, it is coming of age of triumph of so called underdogs [concept and execution taking a backseat with celebrity endorsement]. An eye opener for celebrity hankering endorsers, advertisers who pay fat cheques [from consumer's money off course] to over-the-top celebrities to endorse their products mindlessly [sans story, sans appeal]

Kudos to Team Ogilvy & Mather’s and Nirvana films for espying such a “fresh breath of air” concept, and profitable one too!!!

I still love to hummmm these beautiful lines from one of my most favorite ad campaign of all times…

Every day I want to fly stay by my side…

Every day I want to dream stay by my side…

Every morning I wish I could just play….

Wish the mornings would just stay…

Cheerz!!!

Kolkata- Cyclone Aila!!!

2009-05-26T18:46:00.000+05:30

It started at 90 kmph and expected to go about 200 kmph. It took everyone by storm, bringing down many records. Well I ain’t talking about the amazing win of season 1’s underdog “Deccan chargers” in the IPL season two. Nor is it ‘apna Sachin Tendulkar’ expressing his legendary reaction over the results. I am actually talking about the hurricane that is threatening [or begin to] Kolkata and other parts of West Bengal with dire consequences.

A kind of movement began on 3rd floor, admin block, at around 12:00pm. An hour back when boss exclaimed hallelujah seeing the rain, I didn’t take it that seriously. I dismissed off the thought believing that it’s the wonderful day to work indoors and may be sales team should be called off from field. It’s been raining since yesterday and seemed like another day of relief from scorching Kolkata summers. The rain continued to grow and I started enjoying the lovely sight of oodles of water splashing against the big glass panes. It was as if one is working at the waterside café a la ‘on the waterfront’.

My colleagues exclaimed that it’s a typical weather to sit at home and eat hot pakdoas [fried snacks] with tea. True. But for me it is more of a wonderful day to work and may be pakodas could be eaten while writing reports. Thrilled, I started working twice enthusiastically on new analysis. The rain appeared pleasant.

I didn’t realize that the pleasant rainy day is backed with a mean fact. A cyclone possibility was alerted on Sunday. I seem to have missed the news and realized it only when the hush-hush grew stronger with stories of how a tree fell on a vehicle, killing the person inside.

The movement began to grow with the rains and people started calling their family, asking them to stay indoors. I frantically logged on to Google news to have a better understanding than going completely on hearsay.

The cyclone was expected to reach the city in afternoon and to grow wilder by evening. However it begun weakened in the late afternoon. By this time Administration started taking reactive measures. Half day leaves declared for all educational institutions, Telecom companies incl mine offered individuals to call off the day.

Disaster Management
I used the word reactive, for except the small excerpt at the nth page of leading dailies, no precautionary or alert signals were sent to the public. Indian Meteorological Department [IMD.gov.in] however has advised 24 hours total suspension of fishing operations. The lack of preparedness was evident throughout. The state government was officially alerted at 8pm on Sunday, 24th May but the quintessential ‘chalta hai- sarkari’ officials couldn’t met before 12:00pm on Monday 25th May. [http://www.telegraphindia.com/1090526/jsp/frontpage/story_11021195.jsp] the more I write, bitterness will be higher.

Aftermath
The cyclone almost came as close as 15km from the city but luckily didn’t hit. Had it actually entered the city, the impact would have worsened. The destruction could have been compared to the Great Calcutta Cyclone of 1864. 24 Paraganas [North & South], Howrah & Hooghly, EM Bypass, East Midnapur were reported of having maximum effect.

Around 1875 trees were uprooted. 300 deer washed away in sunderbans. 35 reported deaths. 24000 people homeless in Sundarbans

Anyways, the city is declared safe [supposedly]. The cyclone has reportedly moved to North Bengal though at a much lower speed.

My experience with truce
I woke up to a bright sunny morning on Tuesday May 26, 2009 sans electricity. Power cuts but off course, the first thing to happen even on any medium size rainfalls. The electricity was playing truant since yesterday and was restored at my house only after 7:00pm in the evening. Though I battled the high winds [felt down almost, God bless the angelic security guard who emerged from nowhere to see me struggling to stand amidst the high wind. Instead of being the blind-mute spectators like my colleagues, he came forth to my rescue, took my hand and escorted me till the hired Mahindra Scorpio]. Yeah I left office around 3:15 pm.

I sneaked my way through the tree studded roads of Salt Lake City [such a disheartening sight that was for it take years for tree to grow but only few minutes to be uprooted, slaughtered]. On reaching home I found that my kind landlord had locked the front door from inside and have happily gone deaf n dumb. After wasting 30 minutes at the door, making multiple failed calls to his mobile, constant shouting uncle-uncle, knocking the door, couldn’t bring the landlord almighty to my rescue. The girls next door got pity on me and invited me to stay put with them till the time uncle gets up from sleeps [read back to life] and open the door. I was “happy to be helped” and heartily accepted the invitation. At around 5-5:30 pm uncle came back to life and opened the door. Not leaving any chance to indulge in verbal displeasure he started the blame game again including my last night delay at coming home. I just can’t understand that what is wrong with these landlords especially “Kolkata- Salt Lake” ones.

Five more days! I counted and moved inside. I quickly dumped my laptop bag, squeezed face wash in my face, changed into pajamas and rushed to kitchen. The first thing that I did was to heat up my lunch and gorge on it. Windows were flung opened, bed linen got rid from morning clutter and I sat with Times of India in hope to spend the anxious hours. In between I kept on furiously looking at my mobile, in hope of my relatives checking on me. Alas, they disappointed me as always. Got few SMS, calls from some non-Kolkata friends and finally from home. Parents were as cool as cucumber called to check if I reached home, Also if I have enough “Ready to eat” food stuff stocked at home. As advised by him, I called my cook, requested her to come early in anticipation of upcoming storm. She happily obliged, however got herself drenched in the rains. God bless. Once again the theory which confirms that outsiders are more in than the so called insiders [relatives etc] proved affirmative. After cooking rice, dal, aubergines, she left with money and list of additional “ready to eat” stock consisting of soup, pastas, maggi, fruits, eggs etc.

The sky was getting darker and lights from windows got reduced. I took out my ancient Vanilla scented candles stock to use and lit all the 3 of them up. It looked quite romantic, so I have to put the two of it off to reduce that effect. Recessionary times you see!!!

Bored with the darkness and damned-ness, I opened my laptop and started writing this article. Tired with typing at dark, I started looking for movie options. Call it a great coincidence or irony, the only movie I found was “rain man” starring Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman.

No sooner the movie began, voila electricity was restored. Once the cable was back, I was hooked till 1:00am in the night. And yes, it wasn’t raining even then and likelihood of cyclone was slowly reducing. I switched off the lights, tucked myself into sheet and dozed off. Zzzz…

Hope I have not put you to sleep my friend. Or what Ms Shobha de calls- blogdost. Just in case if you are still awake [literally & figuratively]; please help me to restore the ecological balance of mine, yours and ours city/ cities. How? In two simple ways-
1. By planting more and more trees [2 per person at least]; standing up against deforestation.
2. By helping through any other way to maintain the ecological balance in tact, reducing global warming you see.

I am hoping that you will oblige. Thanks in anticipation.

Bachchanalia

2009-05-18T13:51:00.000+05:30

I came across this picture on a website and couldn't stop liking it :-)

Is this the message sent to-

1. Indian constituency & the laggards breed of politicians

2. Congress raj

3. The entire Polling exercise

4. In anticipation of the upcoming results in Maharashtra

5. Connotation of speeches given Mrs J Bachchan

6. Response over speculation on Abhiash moving out of Jalsa

7. Bachchan family's performance on Box office this year

8. Ummm... Detractors of Amar 'SP' singh

9. Campaigns like "Jago re" or "Do not Vote" or exercising the right to not vote

10. Your Guess....name it

Seeing this picture, should one-
1. Simply see, enjoy and forget it

2. Dismiss it as anti national like most of my friends

3. Make a national issue out of it...another chain of controversies

4. Admire the "i say dare" attitude / "creative" skills of Bachchan clan

5. Ask Barkha Dutt to debate it in her next episode of "I-the people"
6. Write a blog [like I did :0)]

7. You suggest....

I think...

Some pictures says it all.....

Sometime

2009-05-14T17:00:00.000+05:30

Sometimes a look steals your way; and a glance means nothing
A touch turns Midas; but several contacts leave nothing

Sometimes reality deceits us and definitions mystifies
Passion control us and clarity turmoil
Ignorance becomes bliss and harmony begets noise
Sometimes words are not enough and invitations do not suffice

Sometimes reason is not enough to win an argument
Reasons are multifaceted inside
Sometimes logics do not mend distances nor do they set it aside
Sometimes comfort gives way to obstacles; sometimes in obstacles, comfort we find

Sometimes lengths get bigger but a smile summarize
Sometimes truth disturbs us and confusion stabilize
Sometimes stars get closer to us than a weeping eye
Sometimes… sometimes…

Sometimes a day seems eternal & years just fly
Sometimes you cross seven seas and walk a thousand miles
And then sometimes, taking two little steps seems an enterprise

Sometimes we see a thing and something else visualize
We lean forward to touch it and it vanish away from sight
You follow it and chase it blind, when it seems to lie inside

Sometime sorrow becomes solace and happiness terrifies
Knowledge becomes a burden and wisdom unwise

Sometimes a lifetime falls short and a moment becomes a life
Emotions takes a backseat and conditions surmise

Sometimes seasons remains unaltered & reasons revise
Sometimes mistakes sounds silly but solutions difficult to arise

You say things and still do not believe
And then struggle to see, feel and justify
And still a lot many things, gets left, untouched behind

Albeit one deem to acknowledge, interpret and personify
A cloud still hovers your vision; a sea still beyond horizon
A storm that lull the heart and a breeze agonize

Sometimes perspective is not everything
Sometimes, some times are not same
But sometimes…

“HoW to BeComE an ALphA FeMale in 18 EaSy LessOns”

2009-05-06T16:55:00.000+05:30

There was a time. Actually there were two types of time… One when I use to seriously feel that people should start taking me seriously. After all, learning flows from distillation of reflections not experience. Just cause I am pretty looking, timid girl, that doesn’t make me the Siamese twin of the dumb blonde in your vicinity. I have a mind of my own and I am just being nice. Ok?

And then there was a time when I feel that people should stop taking me as a nicey-nicey girl that they always think of me. The expectation bars often get raised too up for me to breath and I was pitted against all the dreadful things I would otherwise prefer not to do. Like?

I mean am a normal girl on way to life and living but I bear no halo on my head. Hey guys stop watching my rear, it is so rude. Come on there isn’t any secret tail to peek beneath my dress. I am not your Balika Badhu, Tulsi Virani or even Lalita pawar. Well that is a different fact that I really loved ‘Lolita’ pawar. [Powerhouse of a performance, someone who wasn’t scared of playing grey shade in world full of rose tinted glasses]. But then I love Kiran bedi too and given a chance would like to maneuver the sorry state of law & order in country. No jokes that some of my friends used to fondly call me Rani Lakshmibai!!! [“Mein apni Jhansi nahi doongi, so nahi doongi”]

See this is my problem, I look and sound like a nice young girl, which I am, but am always playing with the tension between that nice girl exterior and the tough task master beneath the surface. Of course no one is really fooled because I really am the fairly boring nice young girl.

Well now is the time when I don’t care what world at large think about me. They don’t take me seriously, their fault. They think am nicey, well good, gift me a souvenir. If they think am a contradiction, getting rude, submissive or even enigmatic, give me another souvenir, perhaps casted in gold.

But please don’t stop typecasting me. It is such an honor that people taking so much of time out of busy lives, telling me that they know me more than I do. Ahoy! I am touched. [Eye lids flitter-flatter]

And what is this Alpha female theory that am rutted against? I am female though, may not be your alpha female, and worse am not even the beta one. Ok there is no gamma here, there is Omega.

But the point is am I the one? Or should I transpire to be one? Well the answer is- who cares?!?! However, I am blessed to have met many of them. With my experience and interactions, I can identify one from miles. What do I do then? Nothing. I write blogs on them. Bitching? No baba. I do not bitch baby, I blog. What a statement madamji. Going by this logic, I too can try my hand becoming an alpha- alpha female. Well that is the different logic that who has such ambitions anyways.

Keeping in mind that I may have female readership too [err, ahem do I], I must compile “some of my lesson” for the combined benefits for many “alpha females in making”.

But what is an alpha female? And does an alpha female do? Also how to become an alpha female?

Well alpha female is the superior breed of female as considered to be woman on top, given top priorities in whatever they do, wherever they go and off course making males go weak on their knees. Sound interesting girls? Well, here’ the simplest gyan ever given on “how to become an alpha female”. Simplest why? Well easier given than done J

1. Laughter is best medicine: Viagra has found its competitor and you, your new ammunition. You need not be supremely talented but you should know how to laugh on all silly jokes of your boss or the person you want to please. Well even if this doesn’t set you apart. You must also know when not to laugh and manipulate that desirable reaction

2. Practice making your looks good: Spent some qualitative time [in fact a lot of it] in front of mirrors- mirrors at home, malls, wash rooms, sideways, any goddamn place. Learn the art of transforming make up, make up that makes ugly Betty looks like a swan. Wear as many flashy colors as possible. More the number of colors on you, more eye balls you will attract. From your toe nail to your mane, everything should speak “groom”, “parlor treated” and off course “branded”.

3. Keep that terrific smile on: Wear your best flashy lipstick, gloss and keep pouting through all the strategic interventions and touch points

4. Be extraordinarily confident: Even if the dress you wearing, falls short of a stitch, you must flash around “ah that’s Robert Cavali exclusive for me”. What if you are wearing a dress that was your best fit at the age of 10, you must be “ah, so much in control”. So what if Bill Clinton is no more the American president, it’s your answer and it ought to be right. Hey lady you are standing on my foot, but then what an amazing stilettos!! Hey $900 is bigger money than $ 600 but since you spent $600, it is bigger.

5. Spread the word: Spread the good word around. Oh you are single again, spread the word. So your family has a big beach resort in Hawaii and you are just back from a rejuvenating trip from France, spread the word. Hey, you bought Armani- Gucci dress, spread the word. So, you cancelled your dinner date on the top of Eiffel tower with George Clooney only to escort Gerard Butler on his Indian sojourn, spread the word dahlings!!! More popular you get, more popular you become.

6. Develop a group of trusted friends: It isn't possible to be an Alpha without having a gang of friends or elite that will let you lead them. Girls who will accompany you in all bitching, charade, masquerade and guys who are more than willing to pay all your shopping bills, hold your bags, drive you in Cadillac and sponsor your Bahamas trips. And yes, you must have a gay friend to show around too.

7. Accessorize and give your stuffs a personal touch: whether it is multiple rings on your fingers, tattoos at an inch below your neck [backward or forward depending on your dress preference], danglers on your mobile/ purse and what not. Damn if it is just a nail, it can be tattooed or ringed too.

8. ‘Accent’uate your life: So what if you don’t have one. Even the Oprah has none. Bad joke. But trust me, for I have seen many alphas scoring high over betas with their fake accent. All you need is, read your public and roll your tongue, word by word. When your eye color, nail, hair and xxx can be faked, what is big deal about accent? It’s free of cost and off course low on maintenance. A plain Rambo can be called as Rrramboah!!!

9. Higher thoughts and lower necklines: An alpha female’s neckline and seam are indirectly proportionate- Lower necklines and higher seams. Do I need to say more?

10. Play hard to get; still be a Social butterfly: “Oh dear I would have loved to come, but you see I just promised Mrs. Ambani to attend her maid’s baby shower. They are like a family you see”. Mrs. Ambani or maid? Well that doesn’t matter as long as you are busy. If not, pretend to be busy as if the earth will stop revolving if you stop working. And it is you babes who make the sun, moon and stars go round!!!

11. Go Hollywood: Hindi films are so absurd and a chic like you should never be caught watching one. The more you talk about star wars, harry potter and Francis ford cappola, more “arrived” you are. And yes Elizabeth ‘Taylor’ and Barbara ‘Mistry’ are not from PWD [public works deptmt], they are the renowned actors. Mind it.

12. Make a “to-do” list: Be organized and scheduled all your appointments carefully. From hair cut, foot massage, spa to dress fitting, your week should be well balanced. By the way, don’t forget to make rooms for your personal trainer and dietician. It is not so easy to look that beautiful all the time, you see.

13. Extend your vocabulary: learn a new catch word everyday. For instance, try saying –“whatever”, “wassup”, “Gotcha”, “cool”, “oh really [with constant blinking eyes]”, “you know” and the types. Also, start practicing all big heavy sounding management jargons like paradigm shift, strategic inception et cetera. Also, Hindi language like Hindi films is a strict no-no. For starters, start calling “dal” as lentils. “Matar” as “pea”. Nimbu pani as lemonade, Dosa as pancake…Burp too much of bloody oops foodie reverence oops reference.

14. Watch what you eat: no dolls it is not for your weight. After all what are you paying your personal trainer for? But am sure you certainly would not like to be caught eating a “thali” at a local restaurant. After all Chinese [I meant the food], Mexican had always been your hot favorite since your mother’ childhood. For what couldn’t be eaten through fork, knife and spoon, is not the diet for you.

15. Adopt a pet: Not that you are a strict animal lover. But all your favorite celebrities and socialites have one with a fancy name- Bruno, zede, pooch coo et all and honey it would be so LS to not have one. Try a high bred dog, gold fish, fur cat or even a butterfly. Well you can name it the most fanciest around. If not, what are ex’ are for.

16. Art and literature: if your home is not painted by “Anjali ela menon”, don’t loose heart babes. Instead go and invest some currency in buying some abstract paintings from even abstractly named artists. And yeah don’t forget to carry a loaded best seller in your bag with the Bausch and Lomb specs. It makes a style statement, for who cares how many pages you read as long as you look intelligent.

17. Invest your money: You must know how to manage your finances and control others. Oops, I meant always invest your money in right places. Like all worthwhile brands from your Jockey to your puppy food, from your comb to the doggy’ bone. It has become a fashion for woman to invest in stock these days. Damn it if you don’t know what a stock market is.

18. Body Language: Use your body language effectively. Your body language should be positive, passionate and off course suggestive at right inferences. Phew, someone is going to kill me after reading all that I wrote here.

Chalo, too much of gyan cats! It is time for some adoption. Like a good agony aunt, I must conclude that – do not forget to write me feedbacks as to how my gyan helped you in “evolution-zing” your life. All the best, dahlings!!!

Disclaimer: The above incidences, viewpoint is purely coincidental. However, if any of you find it objectionable, derogatory or personal. Well, I must say- take it easy baby. Alpha females do not cry, it spoils your mac foundation!!!

Of bungee jumping, adventure sports and stillborn dreams

2009-04-19T14:28:00.000+05:30

What did you say? Did you say bungee jumping? Ekta!!!
Yeah, doc

Ekta!!! Are you serious? We met few minutes back and you mentioned nothing about this. Are you pulling my leg?
No doc I am pretty serious. The idea just bubbled up…

Ekta you are not well and moreover bungee jumping? I know you are very enterprising. But bungee jumping???!!
But doc you said I am showing a damn good recovery and I must keep myself happy. What is the best way to keep yourself happy than doing the things which makes you happy. Its therapeutic you see.

But of all things Bungee Jumping? Yeah, I wanted to see you happy but that too through people around, with more friends and company.
Doc!!!

Ekta...you know what is bungee jumping? And how do you propose doing that? Have you ever done this before? Will you be comfortable tying one leg and dangling upside down in air? And which leg will you tie? What is height and how will you secure/support yourself against gravity? I hope am making sense to you. After all you understand ergonomics so well.

Simply as people do bungee jumping. Hmmm you are making sense indeed. Though I haven’t done it before but I always wanted to. In fact when I was holidaying in goa with my parents, my dad permitted me as well. Only thing is that we got caught up with a social gathering in a beach far away from the lace and missed.

Hmmm…Ekta why suddenly this bungee jumping idea?
Doc my friend in Air force yellanhanka base [Bangalore] invited me to visit the adventure camp at with him where they have bungee jumping as well. Knowing my interest he suggested we both can go bungee jumping together. Isn’t that great?!? Well you can join too!!!

Ekta no! I do not recommend you taking any strain esp now when you are recovering from such a chest effusion. Not for this year ma.
Doc please do not demotivate me, rather help me finding a way to get it done. At least let me try. If it perplexes me even an ounce, will quit.

Ha ha ha Ekta you are such a darling. Well you have full life to do all that you wish to but now you must rest. All you need now is lot of tender love and care and proper health care. You are doing such an amazing recovery, why risk it? Bungee jumping and things like that may wait, if at all you ever wish to do it.
Hmmm yup doc, as you say.

Come on you are such a brave girl.
Hmmmm [what brave@#@] [Sigh] [Deep sigh]

Well that was the synopsis of the telephonic discussion between me and my doc in November 07. It is 2009 now and the adventure sport freak in me is still waiting to get positively satiated. I know I know… Life is an escapade in itself . But who wants those uninvited, unsolicited kind of adventures anyways. I would rather prefer bungee jumping, scuba diving, snorkeling, Para gliding, sailing, skiing etc.

In school, papa promised me a fulltoo trip to north east. A full camp trip, filled with all the adventure sport. Wow! I was damn excited. So much that I washed my sports shoes twice and stacked away in a place safe from any probable dirt or grime, making it trip-ready. But then October 4th 1994 happened. And I got devoid of all my freaky ambition and made to adept an alien territory viz- academics. Sigh how boring.

However I could never stopped dreaming about it. When we planned a trip to Goa, I got excited all over again. So much that I skipped my Miss L.A.D contest [where I was surprisingly top contender for the crown], packed my bags and hopped into train from Nagpur to Mumbai. Interestingly the girl, who filled in my position after my exit, won the 2nd position. Alas, due to huge rush and exorbitant restrictions I couldn’t do more than steamer-ing and that boring cruising. The second trip was promised but is yet to happen. Heard about that famous “Dhobi ka Gadha”???

Hmmm you must be wondering why I am suddenly talking about all these, while giving no perspective on life, movies, people and all that jazz. Right? Well last night I had a sound sleep. And in my sleep I saw that am on an exotic locale, with fine breeze blowing southward and ah so pleasant of weather. I was in my favorite hot pants n tee, gearing up for sky diving. Suddenly somebody called my name and as I turned back to see the person, I was metamorphosed back in the long tee which I wore before going to bed. I found myself in my room, snoring if not snorkeling.

Morning I got up and heaved a la K L Saigal- “Mera sundar sapna toot gaya” in the shower. Trot-trot I trotted down to office and opened my laptop to divert my mind to work. To my dismay, my mail box was flooded with pictures from a friend who had recently embarked on trip to Europe and went camera crazy. He did rafting, skiing and what not. And I, I turned green [with envy], red [with anger], yellow [with gloom] and what not.

I snatched the newspaper from my dad’s hand and told him that am willing to get married provided he finds me a guy who is considerate about adventure sport and will take me through at least white water rafting, Para-sailing and such fun. And I am ok even if he is Marwari, but not pan chewing, mum-pet [puppet] fatso puhleeze.

He was amused, bemused and again amused. He then smiled off and asked me to stop yapping and obtain half day leave to attend my cousin’s wedding.

On our way to venue, dad made me climb that local bus. “it will go straight to Tolly, maybe in midway we will take a cab”. “Anyways you wanted some adventure, so try Kolkata bus for starters”. I heaved a sigh and helplessly succumbed to pa’s orders.

Mera Sundar sapna Toot gaya!!! Tut tut

Disclaimer: I do not snore, just used that for effects heee

Numerounity turns 50 today!!!

2009-04-16T11:43:00.000+05:30

Well not in terms of years but in no of posts. Whoa!!! Must congratulate me for all the mighty effort that I pulled in to keep the show running and BRPs [an abridged version of TRP] pouring!!! Hee he... Chaps! Thanks to you all for sticking around and keep listening to all my verbal brouhahas, one over other.

Yeah, I have been missing from the scene from sometime. It is not that I had run out of content or context of things to be told. In fact, there are a lot of things to be told. But every time when I want to pen them down, I feel like- “Jaane do yaro”.

Jane do yaro!! Who is going to read all that I churn one after other. There are lots of wonderful people, writing lots of wonderful things on lots of seemingly wonderful blogs. And while I still struggle to find right expressions, my self introspection continues on…

So, I went back to, living in my fool’ paradise. Juggling with life as usual over some routine, some non-routine and some non routine, but seemingly routine chores and you know jazz. I stuffed my senses with the glossies of idiot box, savored roughly half a dozen sitcoms and nearly got carried away with some sob-sobs on screen. However, I still shrug off the over the top drama that is been show cased over and over again.

Until y’day when an ex suitor of mine called up to express how much he got smitten off with the movie “50 first dates” [which he saw recently] and also how he correlated that am yet to write my 50th blog. Well how he correlated, is another big-complex story [which I may sell to one of television producers who are in serious need for innovative n interesting contents. Ms Ekta Kapur, want me to help you?] and best left for discussions sometime else.

Hmmm so people do read my blogs [well it is other thing that I pester couple of them with continuous threats!!! Heee]. But there are pals like Amit Khandelia and Rahul Dravid, who reads my stuff and get motivated to write their own. Guys, if you are listening, Pl note my royalties/commission still pending.

Peace, peace. So what if my creativity is still struggling with cosmetic surgeries. So what? I must write. Even though if I have to make my friends like Mynk, Amit and Mohit visit my blogs and read. Write I must!!!

Okay! Enough of my mindless wanderings and scribbling. So it is my 50th blog and it’s supposed to be made special. Thus I am burdened as to how should I make it appear special? Hmmm let me make a quick wish list of 50 things that comes to me in next 50+50 seconds. On top recall-

1. I wish someone sends me 50 flowers
2. I wish, my salary gets hiked by min 50% this PMS
3. I wish I could buy 50 new dresses and matching accessories!!!
4. I wish to hold a child in my hand and shower him/her with 50 lovely kissies.
5. I wish I could go for 50 long days holidays around the world.
6. I wish I could give 50 tight slaps to people who cheat on me like my ex flat mate who ran without paying any money, colleagues who plays dirty politics with me [well a dozen slaps will do]
7. I wish I can buy a brand new dell XPS laptop at 50% less price.
8. I hope to taste and judge 50 different types of pasta, sitting in a waterfront cafe. Ummm
9. I wish I have 50 most eligible suitors wanting to get married to me and waiting for my one single “yes”.
10. I wish I get rich and popular within 50days and continues to be for next 50* 50 years
11. I wish I had boy friend like Adam Sandler in 50 first dates!!!
12. I wish to know what more do I wish to write here….

Well guys that explains all. For it is incredible for me to enlist my wish list here. Or think of any other suitable 50 theme I can ink here. Sorry Humber!!! All I can say-

“50 and still not out”!!!
Cheers!!!

April fool!!!

2009-04-01T22:41:00.000+05:30

Silly Row Row Row Your Boat

Row row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
Ha ha fooled youI'm a submarine!

Today is 1st April, the “all fool’s day”. The legend is that King Charles IX changed April 1st to January 1st as the first day of the year. And the people who stayed with the 1st April as the first day were considered as “April fools”.

The day is so infamous for its hoaxes that sometime people doubt the real news stories as released on this day

Some real ones that were mistaken for a hoax-
1. Gmail’ launch on April 1st 2004 was widely believed as a prank. In fact on the same day, in 2007 a python escaped from its New York city’ office was considered as the hoax created by the Google.
2. The death of king George of Greece in April 1947 was considered as another hoax
3. In April 1946, Aleutian Island earthquake tsunami killed 165 people in Hawaii and Alaska. The warnings weren’t taken seriously on the assumptions of April fools day prank

You wondering what am I up to? Whether I played a prank or not? Created any hoax around? Well, seriously no. Having read some of the stupid April fools SMS and mails floating around since yesterday, day before and all these years, I find them getting progressively lousy each passing year. I would rather not encourage the idea of messing up fooling around. All I would like to say that beware if the news that you’ve got is not just a prank. Think through

Veni, Vedi & Eureka

2009-04-01T16:32:00.000+05:30

Last evening my little nephew [Boeing-Boeing chap] called me up to convey his love for me and my stupid blogs. Hee he

In his sweet little baritone, he appealed- “Mushy, [our personal version of masi] am sooo “J” [a capital J] that you spent times with so many other kids whereas I can’t get to spend time with you. But meantime, am also confused whether I shall feel proud or jealous that other kids like my mushy too”. Well that’s typical pihu for me ;)

He paused and then continued “Achacha while I still guess on that, you must tell me more about those children”. And I hope by now you would have understood that what followed after that. Off course a strong round of Q&A and curiosity inundated.

“One at a time pihu”, I quipped. “One at a time bachcha”!!!

And then I told him about RCFC, children there and the good work they do. If you too want to know more about them, without having to wait for my blog, do visit- www.rcfcindia.org

At the end of it, he got quite moved with the tales of those little children and their wonder prosthesis. I was so pleased by the inquisitive mind of my little one that I decided to dedicate a special column for him. He got excited with the idea and promised me to mail a query a week for the same. “Gosh!!! I can’t promise pihu but will try to blog on that if not, will answer just on mail”.

“Deal” the young charmer consented. But my commitment to help him in his class assignments and other stuff will stands as it is and shouldn’t bear any conflict with new commitments. Phew!!! “Yes boss” I agreed

Next came, naamkaran [naming ceremony] of these posts. I suggested- “Pihu Bole” my dedicated writings to celebrate this joy called pihu in my life!!! “Nah, mushy it sounds kiddies, let’s figure something more grown up”. Aha! That’s another typical of pihu for me. So after few seconds of brainstorming, we finally agreed on “Veni, Vedi & Eureka”. His recently acquired knowledge of Julius ceaser and Archimedes finally put to use.

Anyways, the ‘terms & conditions’ clause didn’t get over here. I was taken on oath to not let his id made popular [individual risk coming under section “girls”, “girlfriends” or probable “GFs”] and some regular ones like I must use new words [Vocab exercise for lil one]. And then there were few others elucidated, trivial to mention at this point.

So here we are, ready to launch our new JV AKA Joint Venture. Keep reading and posted.

Cheers!!!

Tata Indicom launches Wireless Broadband: Photon +

2009-04-01T15:35:00.000+05:30

Just in case if the text is too difficult to read
The next generation technology is here!!!

Broadband on the "Go"
Access Speed up to 3.1 mbps
Upto 20X times faster than current wireless technology
Quick activation & Installation
USB modem priced at Rs 3500 only

So what are you waiting for?

Book your connection today and get exciting offers on 1st TEN bookings from here!!!

Happy Surfing

Rehabilitation Centre For Children [RCFC]

2009-03-31T16:04:00.000+05:30

“Ghar se masjid hai bahut door chalo, yu kar le

kisi rote hue bachche ko hansaaya jaaye "

[Since the way to pilgrim is quite far from home, let’s spread a cheer on the face of weeping child]

Last month, i went to RCFC [Rehabilitation Centre for Children] and had a wonderful time with the kids. Though language set us apart but we still communicated- with our smiles and that unconditional affection!!! Here' a glimpse of the visit.

We had organised a painting competition there for kids, followed by talent program. The kids displayed great talent by ways of dance, poetry and paintings!!!

Pl join me in wishing a speedy and happy recovery of all the kids

Kudos the undying spirit!!!

Of lost loves, age and soulful renditions

2009-03-29T15:18:00.000+05:30

It was raining last evening. I was caught with the nitty gritties of my product launch and chose to enjoy the rain shower through the large glass panes of my office.

The drizzling got strong and I began to enjoy the pitter patter a little more. My work was almost done, leaving me some time in hand before I leave the office. So I picked my head plug and switched my mobile FM in hope of some good music. Though it’ very rare that you are in mood for good music and you find one playing. Seems I was lucky that day.

It was one of my other favorite songs, Once again from the Bhatt’s stable. This one was from movie- “Zakhm”. Yeah one of those “story of my life” movie churned by the autobiographical director.
Never mind, we all liked that movie and I in particular this song. The music was soft and the lyrics were simple, poignant and rendering. I hope you will like it too. Here’s dekko at the lyrics-

Hum yaha, tum yaha, dil jawaan woh sama

Lekin kaha kaha, shuru shuru ke pyaar ka

Phir se chalo, churaaye dil yaar ka

Hum yaha, tum yaha…

[I am here & you are here too/ Today I am at one point and you at other,
Young hopes are still there but where have gone those days of the early togetherness
Come lets fall in love all over again]

Nikle zara gharse, phir woh ghata barse

Aag ye phir lage, phir uthhe dilse dhuwa

Hum yaha, tum yaha, dil jawaan woh sama…
[Let’s go out of the concealed doors and let the same precipitation pour again
Once again that fire kindles within the heart and smokes raises]

Chaaha tumhe kitna, dhhundhha tumhe kitna

Mil gaye ham magar, kho gaye ham phir kaha

Hum yaha….
[Have always loved you and have searched so much for you
And then we met, but now we have lost again]

Phir ho wohi baatein, phir ho wohi raatein
Phir wohi rat jage, phir wohi bechainiyaan

Hum yaha….
[Once again lets visit those talks, those moments
That propinquity and that same restlessness of being together]

Jab kuch kahen labse, pehele kahen sabse

Jaaneman, meri jaan, jaan-e-jaan, jaan-e-jahaan
Hum yaha…
[We need to voice things out to the populace
For someone as dear as life and soul, words aren’t required]I am here & you are somewhere there/ Today I am at one point and you at other
Young hopes are still there but where have gone those days of the early togetherness
Come lets fall in love all over again]

Wasn’t that lovely? Hmmmm…I was transported to a different world while listening or re living this composition. And I continue to do that again and again Trust I did justice with the lyrics and thought process.

As far as I always understood, this song was a quest to relinquish the differences and re create the lost magic back. For we often let go of our most valued possessions in quest of blinding disparities. Sometimes we are lucky to realize it. But are we lucky enough to get it resolved? Well choice is personal and mutual.

Cheers!!!

Disclaimer: The above expression is just creative/ poetic expression and has nothing to do with the author’s personal life

Lights off: Vote for Mother Earth

2009-03-27T16:13:00.000+05:30

I am switching off my lights on Earth Hour. Are you?

It is not just me, people from 825+ cities across 80 countries and territories have pledged their support to “Vote Earth” during earth hour 2009. And the number continues to grow!!! And grow manifold.

Earth hour is a unique initiative taken by WWF India [World Wide Fund for Nature] where individuals, business and government turn off their lights for one hour to create support for action against climate changes.

Earth Hour is observed on March 28th 2009 during 8:30 pm to 9:30pm.

It will be observed concurrently in several cities apart from Kolkata, Delhi, Pune, Bangalore and Mumbai. People are encouraged to participate and turn off the lights in their homes, offices and buildings at scheduled date and time.

This is world’ first global election which do not call for age, race and background but gives equal opportunity to all, to come forth and vote.

It is not a black out. While you can keep the very essential lighting on but the urge is to turn off all non essential lights.

Lets welcome this great beginning for a great movement to come. where every single vote counts. It will be presented to world leaders at the global Climatic Change Conference in Copenhagen 2009. This will further be instrumental in determining official government policies to take action against global warming.

Earth hour will also see a lot of iconic buildings and landmark sites dim or switch off their lights during the said hour. In Kolkata, corporate houses like WIPRO, ITC hotels, HDFC, ICICI, Stan chart, HSBC have signed up. Global landmarks as Sphinx & great pyramid of Giza, the Acropolis [Greece], Empire State Building [USA] and PETRONAS towers [Malaysia] will take plunge.

A lot of us may resist wondering if it really makes a difference but to emphasize- every single contribution counts!!! So, what are you waiting for? Come forward and show you care!!!

For more info on participating in the great drive, pl visit http://www.earthhour.in/

Boeing Boeing

2009-03-13T00:04:00.000+05:30

It all originated when I went to airport to pick my little nephew who was traveling alone for the first time. Baby wanted me to escort him with loads of apple juice, cheese sandwiches and some tongue-in-cheesy answers.

His first question was on UDF. As to why his papa has to take additional ticket while travelling from Bangalore to Bangkok when he already has one. And why he did not buy one for the little champ.

His next question was- If airline sells tickets at Re 1, why AC II tier takes a min of Rs 1800 one way when it takes more time than flight and still more people travelling in trains. Also, what does airline do with all those Re1 coins? Hmmm hmmm

Well, travelling from era of 3k tickets to Re 1 ticket, a lot of us use to wonder the principle behind airfare. And even still, most of the airlines are running into financial losses with larger no of people taking the cloudy route. Until this day, when my little bundle of joy came forth posing the same curiosity, entrusting his didi as always, to have answers for all his inquisitiveness.

I was interrupted the moment I started with “I guess it is the operating costs like…” with a request to come forth with the exact keywords, doing away with the “I guess” repatriate. Hmmmmm

So, I do not guess but now quite certain about the major cost contributors for my or your airline tickets. And some of them are-

1. Landing & parking charges at airports: It is the biggest cost component and as it suggests, is the fee levied by airports on the air crafts. It however varies from airline to airline.
2. Ground charges: The “on ground” charges for aircrafts on the time spent while on ground, between flights. It is a time based cost and depends on the nature of aircraft [low fare carriers or full service carriers] Ex: Low airlines spends less in comparison of full service carriers loading up baggage, carrier meal etc
3. Then there is fuel surcharge, passenger service fee, insurance, departure tax [optional] etc
As passengers we essentially pay only basic fare+ fuel surcharge+ PSF [passenger service fee].

So, next time you buying yourself a ticket you must check-
1. Basic fare i.e. your full economic fare, fuel surcharge and passenger service fee. YQ or any other customer borne tax
2. Also, if you aren’t sure of your journey plan, do check the refundable fare if it’s mere basic fare or any tax component included.

The little one listened to all with rapt attention and I wonder if he blinked all during this while. As if he, using his basic math of addition et al, was trying to ink a small profitability statement in his mind. “Finish your sandwich”, I said. We shall make the project report later when you grow up to college at least. But till that time let’s see you wish list for spending next 2 days with me. He smiled and happily obliged, sipping away to glory.

And then at last, his 3rd air warfare question was on prying hostess aunties who kept intruding his privacy by checking on him as if he is cradle kid, pinching his already red cheeks and all those fanfares as if he will get lost while in that closed aircraft. I am not a kid, you see masi, I pack my sandwich on my own and even know how to bake wafers on microwave!!! Now I do not have any answers for that. Do i? :-)

About UDF
The new UDF [User Development Fee] of Rs 260 has being levied on all passengers [except infants under 2] travelling from Bangalore [AKA Bengaluru] International Airport.
Ministry of civil aviation, GOI has approved the bill and said to use the amount for the development and maintenance and to provide other services and amenities at this state of art airport.

Special UDF counters are built outside the terminals where the receipt is required to be shown before entering the terminal. So now you need to reach airport even early with a combined margin of 3 mins to 15 mins [off peak and peak] and yes, don’t forget to carry the exact changes if you intend to pay by cash.

Well, do not be bogged as that is just a small component to make your air travel from Bangalore a bit too expensive [considering the new location and traffic]

Million dollar baby

2009-03-11T18:23:00.000+05:30

Just heard, Shilpa Shetty with her beau has splurged nothing less than a crore for the music video of “Rajasthan royal”. To sh0ot the music video, a pvt jet was booked to to carry the team it's glamour quotients. NOt just that, special sports Tee has been designed [with some with Swarovski crystals on]. And hold your breath, 100 junior artists with 10 elephants, horses and chariots were used to shoot inside the J’pur airport. Whoa!!!

Well it is no more that only the characters of any balaji soap or from any other goddammit soap on idiot box humming away the deals and glories of nothing less than crores. But the notion of “just one crore” has indeed travelled a long way. From silver screen sagas to the silver spoons, for sure.

Actors and actresses have begun to quote their salt by charging nothing less than one crore. Bigger the first digit, bigger the star is. No matter if the movie is a sore dud in the theatres, leave alone the acting. Not just those, even to hell with recession, celebrity endorsements are now carefully chosen. Some celebrities apparently have refused good brands for they weren’t offering a higher “crore” than what their counterparts[or the more successful ones] were getting, and even some refused for the particular brand line was low end. Well one men’ poison is someone else’ meat. Some “crore” loss is definitely some even more “crores” gain with so many brands hankering for celebrity’ piece.

Not just actors, Producers and directors spends nothing less than a “crore” to shoot some of their songs. Even though if it bears no relevance to the movie.

Celebrities like AB and SRK commands their worth by charging min a crore for hosting one episode on what is suppose to be “small screen”.

Lacs [a hundred thousands] have become cheap. And “A crore” is becoming nothing but some sort of loose change that the “haves” of the society started using for their backyard hopscotch game. And you said, recession in economy will balance the divide. Tsch!!!

Keep your prayers on…

2009-03-11T00:12:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time, we used to pray and thank god for giving us a life, for giving us the joy of nature, fulfilling our basic necessities like food, clothing and shelter and so many splendid around.
As we progressed from one “yuga” to other, a lot of things have been changed, including our prayers.

Prayer today has been metamorphosed its way from thanking lord for food, clothing & shelter to life, sustenance and honor.

No wonder, if 21st Century prayers would be something like this-
Dear God, Thank you for saving me from bomb blasts, communal riots, being looted on streets, SENSEX dynamisms, Blue line accidents, organizational lay offs, telemarketing callers, ever incremental sales target, eve teasing/ molestation, being victim of organizational politics [but how long], open manholes, falling prey to cocaine, marijuana, methamphetamine, frequent load shedding and acidity.

Also, thank you for giving me disturbance free phone network, a seat in local bus/ train, some time to spend with family, clean water supply and et all

But if we keep going on this rate, I wonder what our prayers in future are going to be???!!??

Mighty Muscular “Scorpio”

2009-03-10T22:02:00.000+05:30

Auto major M&M launched its sports utility vehicle “New Mighty Muscular Scorpio” at a price range of Rs 7.21 Lacs to Rs 9.2 Lacs

2.2 litre enhanced mhawk engine which means 2.6 litre CRD engine will be phased out soon.

Have a look…

The new model is available for delivery from March 10, today!!!

So, what are you waiting for? Go grab and go for a drive with the factory fitted 2 DIN audio system on. And yes, drive Safely. Bon voyage!!!

Host ya Ghost

2009-03-07T01:07:00.000+05:30

In one of last post, I’ve written about how with the sudden advent of reality shows, a whole new vista for careers have unlocked up. A whole new list of wannabe actors, singers, dancers, to the quintessential judges, went fluttering from one format to other. And then, there was the glamorous, politically correct, stylized host! Here’ a sneaking preview of some who have delighted, enlightened and ignited us on the small screen. In short, some of the most popular host of current times.

1. Needless to say- Mr. Amitabh Bachachan
He made the small screen look bigger than ever before. Sitting on the hot seat, he made numerous people churn their millionaire dream with “KBC”. And if not, happy to shake hands with biggest ever star of Indian Film industry. The most popular game show ever on the tele history. And the most popular host too

2. SRK
If AB was Amitabh Bachchan, then Shahrukh was also SRK. The badshah of box office, television’s own proud discovery. Even though his 5th grader couldn’t win the TRPs but SRK’ camaraderie with kids and contestants was a reason enough to attract all those eyeballs and show producers lines outside his diary

3. Mandira Bedi
Television’ girl next door shimmered the boring cricket commentary box to a topic of national interest. With mercury soaring and entire country betting on her next attire for the game, cricket was never so glamorous. What YRF couldn’t do for her, her noodle straps did for Indian cricket in 2003.

4. Mini Mathur
Remember the charmer from “Tol mol ke bol”? The sparkling host of Indian Idol [All 3 seasons] not just dazzled the podium with her effervescence but also displayed a great ability to handle her co hosts and participants with great ease.

5. Lola Kutty: Everybody loves Lola and how! With that mallu accent and heavy weight mallu stunts, she sure came as a healthy surprise amongst the cliché crop of VJs in India.

6. Mona Singh [Jhalak Dikh la ja season 2] She was cute, bubbly & very affable. Her great camaraderie with co host and participants, combined with her sportsmanship was a big plus. Everyone loved this sardarni and said ki Jassi Jaisi koi nahi.

7. Sangita Ghosh & Shabbir Ahluwalia [Nach baliye]: They sizzled on screen and suddenly fizzled off with end of season one.

8. Derek o' Brien [Bournvita Quiz Contest]: A lot of us have grown up feasting on the great Indian quiz master and his books of questions on a dull Sunday morning

9. Cyrus Broacha: Baap of all Bakras [need we say anymore]

10. Shekhar Suman: last but never the least. The true maverick who was not just a “mover” but also “shaker” of the primetime viewing and television chat shows.

And there were the worst one too. Stay away, they said and we happily did so-

1. Karan Grover [Zara Nach ke dikha]: Interesting show, dumb anchors. And what about that over the top display of ugly biceps and tattoo et all? We know you are a stud, you were the most popular male model in 2004 gladrags mega model contest but dude you are just overdoing it- “ALL THE TIMES”??!?? [latest seen participating on Jhalak Dikhla ja” Season 3. Gosh, again an overact] Time to grow up, Grover boy.

2. Manoj Bajpai [deal or no deal]: Too high on starry-fare, lost expressions. A good concept washed away with poor execution and communication.

3. Govinda [Chappar phad ke]: If Amitabh can do it, SRK may also do it, but it’s not necessary that actor turned MP turned actor Govinda has to “just do it” as well?

4. Anupam kher & Manisha Koirala [Sawal dus crore ka]: We still wonder what they were trying to do. They came across as anchors, who not just literally sleep walked to their role, but also kept sleeping all time through. Such wastage of good actors who were badly pitted against AB and KBC?

5. Neena Gupta [Kamzor kadi koun]: Brilliant actress, equally innovative concept but too much of display of bitterness shrugged everyone away, incl viewers.

6. Hiten Tejwani & Gauri Pradhan[Nach baliye]: While he tried hard to fit in a role that was barely meant for him, but she with her forced demeanor was a great pain to see a good hosting opportunity slipping away.

Let’s get ‘R’eal

2009-03-05T20:37:00.000+05:30

Switch on the TV and another reality show is waiting in tow. Another set up, another theme and another set of controversies, cooked up off course. With the ilks of Ekta kapoor still churning out one soap after other, a new lot of reality show producers are breeding up. The coming few posts are solely dedicated to salute the uncompromising spirit of Reality TV. So, stick on

And yeah, as goes with anything else, You can scrutinize me, criticize my coinings...but it's a tough job to put me down!!! :-)

Indian idol :Camera malfunctioning

2009-03-05T12:53:00.000+05:30

The winner of the Indian Idol- Season 4

Well we all know, up goes the glamour quotient, out goes the fabric. But isn't it tad too early??

Err!!! anticipation, excitement or pure coincidental??!!??

John Abraham too looks puzzled!!!

Ain't it amusing??!!??

Delhi 6

2009-03-03T17:29:00.000+05:30

“Kale bandar ki ek mother hai, jo is saal board ke exam mein baithegi. Uske upar paani phekna hai”
“Maine dekha hai kale Bandar ko. Woh Invisible hai”
“Arre tum madan gopal electronics ki wife ho, tumhe…
“Burger chaap”

Chinese whispers, urban legends, maze like colorful streets, feisty music, Ramleela grounds, religious paradoxes, political slapstick and a gamut of spectacular cast including Masakkali n Kala Bandar makes Delhi 6 a worthwhile place to visit. Not to forget its amazing songs that transports you to other world, blissfully.

Picture this-
A gang of women, unbiased, indifferent to their Men folklore’ inter personal differences, sitting at terrace on a vibrant morning, chitchatting while preparing “Lal Mirch ka aachar”, breaks into jaggery of a song-
Saiyan ched deve; Nanand chutki leve

Sasural genda phool
Choda babul ka angna; Bhave dera piya ka Saas gaari deve; Devar ji saamjha deve

Sasural Genda phool

Saiyan hai vyapaari; Chale hai pardesh Suratiya nihaarun; Jiyara bhari hoye

Sasural Genda phool

The movie’ metaphorical touch is another delight to watch. Whether it’s straight jacketed portrayal of faked religious believes; the clever twinning of Ramlila with story, media hoop la floating around the “kala Bandar”, merchandizing [bazaarikaran] of the invisible monkey man in the age of Chandrayan; the loose brick through the wall of the estranged “Mohan electronics” brothers; the appeal for human liberation in form of masakkali; to the healing effects of faith and its killing effect too…

Some other interesting metaphors well reflected in scenes like-
1. When a fainted Waheeda Rehman is taken to clinic in a rickshaw and suddenly she gains conscious seeing the blessed movement of a “Gou Mata” giving birth.
2. The scene where Cyrus sahukar and lalaji’ wife are making out, with their toe hitting the TV remote that switches from news to primates mating to missile launch and then the same news playing at different location, at Prem chopra’s shop and then returning back to the former scene. The switch on and off was well shot and hilarious too.
3. Unleashing the God & kala Bandar which lies within all of us. However cliché it may be but the essence remains undiluted- Self introspection

Then there is an interesting set of characters and even brilliant actors performing it. Mandi house se Chandni Chowk tak. From Suresh raina, Pawan Malhotra, Vijay raj, Raghuveer Yadav, Divya Dutta, Supriya Pathak, to Rama bua and the surprise packet Cyrus sahukar. There is hardly a character that is not anchored in to the film.

I would not exactly call the movie preachy. I would rather call it a “good wake up kick” to fanaticism, commercialism, political agendas and many other farce that surround the society, making lives difficult to breathe.

Well the almost empty auditorium at the Sunday late night show hasn’t surprised me for long. For the populi that is constantly being fed on capers like “Welcome” “singh is king” or even “Chandni Chowk to China”, Delhi 6 can be a quite a cognitive load on that average Indian viewer who is made to barter their brains for the over expensive multiplex food. [Oops I have no rough bone against Akshay kumar; movie names r just coincidental]

And thank god that Rakesh OmP Mehra chose the happy climax over the sad one. Though the Junior-senior men in white, eating Jalebis in the heaven was too uninvited.

Off course the narration could ve been better but overall what served was quite creatively appetizing and savoring though.On a whole, Delhi 6 is an interesting trip. After all “yeh shehar nahi, mehfil hai”!!! Yeh Dilli hai mere yaar!!!

Valentine’ day

2009-03-01T19:00:00.000+05:30

A lot of my friend and colleagues naughtily probed me on my plans for celebrating the V day this year. I was amused by their stereotyped approach and smirked back to my MS excel sheets. I resisted saying “no plans” like I did all these years. Cause this year, I certainly had a plan.

Cliché it may sound but this valentine day I, along with some office colleagues visited “Ma Kali Vridhashram” – a home of elderly and aged. The experience was mixed.

We had fun while buying cake for them. From pastries to muffins, we finally closed the deal on a “Tom & Jerry” cake. Cute na? It was Rohita’ idea, backed by Rana, who was amused by the time taken to purchase that simple confectionary. Guess he ran out of his cell phone charge and realized world happening around him [Hope Rana is reading this]

We had fun locating the place. Apparently, the landmark given over phone was “Pukur” [lake in Bengali], which I heard as “Kukur” [dog in Bengali] and whole through the lanes of peerless hospital I kept on wondering what living soul would give a landmark as the “house near Kukur” or vice versa. lolz. But there has been incidences like this. Surprisingly enough there were lots of pukur and kukur around!!! And even the team couldn’t realize my “comedy of errors” until I told them for the second time.

But it wasn’t actually a great fun to visit the place, to see the faces almost devoid of life, searching for some signs of it desperately. Small, restricted place and not exactly the right place I would like to see any of my loved relatives spending the last legions of their life. I understand they are old, helpless and some of them even disowned by their families but none of them seem so unworthy to be living in such isolation, such brevity.

Isn’t it strange that we have swish-plush malls, plazas and what not? But no construction half as grand to accommodate the helpless “old age”. No construction half as considerate, no construction half as accommodating, half as useful. All stones in concrete jungle but no shelter.

A place where the old age can freely move around, indulge, savor all the bits of this everlasting life. There might be some posh homes as this but I wonder how many? And how affordable?

Well too many questions and too much of helplessness too. In all my bare capacities, I won’t let my parents be on mercy of anyone else. I keep reinstating this to Anurag as well, who in turns keep threatening to keep parents with him and not me. Wishful thinking, little bro, for sis is here to stay :)

Well the rest of my day wasn’t too amusing except I learnt some trick with the stone on the lake water. My colleagues- Rana, CV and Raj, demonstrated the great, lost art of splashing pebbles in lake and make it dance on water…I couldn’t make it dance so well but well tried!!!

I had a long drive back home. Traffic and guess what? Rest of my evening was spent buying groceries. Thankfully, my cook came and made me some nice dinner. It made me realize that no matter the small or confined spaces, thankfully those old people at least have someone around to spend their time with and eat their meal together.

Hey they are playing one of my fav song- “Hum Tum”. Cheers.

Soulful rendition

2009-02-27T16:52:00.000+05:30

While browsing through the comments list on my posts, I landed to saim’ blog http://cataclysmofreality.blogspot.com/. Suddenly a song has caught my attention. And I was surprised to hear it coming from my lappie. To confirm, I increased the volume and then realized it’s playing on his website. It was one of those pleasant song from school hood, a song that am still growing up on. I rather kept the volume and plugged in my headphone.

Whoever says that Hindi film songs have lost their charm, essence and melody, have definitely not heard new songs, this song in particular. No doubt that the old songs are still a great celebration of music and meaningfulness. But it is not fair to completely write off new songs. For still there are some songs that not just inspire listening but actually grow up on you.

One such song is “Mujhse naaraj ho to ho jao” from the movie- “Papa Kehte hai”. I still remember how in school we used to wait for a new movie’ audio cassette to hit in stores and hurriedly used to buy one on mere virtue of watching the trailers on TV. “Papa kehte hai” was one such release …The much hyped movie of Mahesh Bhatt though failed to entertain cinegoers but in true “Bhatt” style, its songs were done in great taste.

What was so special about the song? Well read it and find yourself-

"Mujhse Naaraj ho to ho jao
Khud se lekin khafa khafa na raho
Mujhse tum door jao to jao
Aap apne se tum juda na raho

Mujhpe chaho yakeen karo ya na karo
Tumko khud pe magar yakeen rahe
Sar pe ho aasma ya na ho, pair ke neeche yeh zameen rahe
Mujhko tum bewafa kaho to kaho
Tum magar khud se beawafa na raho
Mujhse Naaraj…

Aao ek baat mein kahoon tumse
Jaane Phir koi yeh kahe na kahe
Tum ko apni talaash karni hai
Humsafar koi, rahe na rahe
Tumhe apne sahare jeena hai
Dhoondti koi aasra na raho
Mujhse Naraaj…"

[This may not capture the actual essence, but translating for my non Hindi speaking friends]

If you want to be upset with me, you can be
But don’t get upset with yourself
If you want to go away from me, you can go
But don’t run away from yourself
Whether you want to trust me or not
But do keep your trust on yourself
Whether there is sky above your head or not
But you should have ground under your feet
You can call me a traitor or no
But don’t betray yourself
If you want to be upset with me, you can be
But don’t get upset with yourself
Come let me tell you something
Later maybe someone tell you this or not
You have to search yourself first
Whether there is someone else or not
You have to live on your own
Rather than searching for any external support
Now, If you want to be upset with me, you can be
But don’t get upset with yourself

Soulful!!! Isn’t it?

She...

2009-02-26T16:34:00.000+05:30

Came across this beautiful musing, thought of sharing...

The heart dies a slow death
Shedding each hope as a leaf
Until there is nothing left
Nothing remains
She paints her face to hide her face
Her eyes are deep water
It is not for her to want
It is not for her to feel
She is an artist of the floating world
She dances, she sings, she entertains you whatever you want
The rest is shadows
The rest is secret

Incredible India: Athihi Devo Bhava

2009-02-25T17:22:00.000+05:30

By now, most of us must have seen the multiple TV campaigns on reinstating the importance of Indian hospitality and generosity to its tourists.

Well stated messages, efficiently conveyed by various protagonists and even celebrities like Amir Khan, who have come forth to cause other than colas.

It makes an interesting watch though. But the question is whether it would reduce to mere an on air promo or go beyond that? Well, the answer is within us. Do we still believe in virtues like preserving Indian hospitality, its culture, its invaluable monuments and above all human Integrity? And if the answer is yes, then what is that can we do to give the movement a due momentum and add other feather in our “king-sized cap”.

Oh yes, a lot of us do have limited means and powers. But still a lot could be achieved even through that. And how?

Protest we must!!! Yes, the first thing we can do is to come out of our ivory towers, tether out our fear and raise our voice anytime when we see-
- Any tourist being taken for granted by any local misanthropes
- Any Majnu or Ranjha scribbling his name on the historical monuments, train compartments or even trees in the university campus
- Any passers by littering the city roads, parks or street with things that are meant for dust bin
- Heroes treating the common passages, roads, tracks as universal urinals, spittoons and the works

It’s high time, let’s get out of our “this is not meant for us” mentality and strive to make our roads, streets, city and country a better and hygienic place to live.

After all, won’t you love a pleasant ride down in monsoon, clean rivers/lakes, cleaner passages and healthier you?

Why do I sometime prefer to walk on opposite side of road

2009-02-25T12:59:00.000+05:30

- Chances of being back stabbed are less
- You wouldn’t be shocked by a sudden honking from cab behind
- You can see everything coming your way
- Good to see surprised reactions of the passers by.
- All roads lead to Rome anyways
- Take the road less travelled [low traffic there]

My Fair Lad errr Lady!!!

2009-02-24T22:23:00.000+05:30

Run an eye through the matrimonial column of any Newspaper- Wanted Bride- Fair complexion comes screaming at you…

Run a finger around Television remote and the TVCs on “I am fair; I am lovely” comes flooding in your screen

We Indians nurture a great fixation with fairness. No matter the internal beauty, our ‘dark knights” are ever intrigued with fair skinned glories…

If you are a wannabe model, Indian idol, actress, dancer or even a cricket commentator, and you have a complexion which doesn’t read as fair? Then your ambitions are reduced to the significance of black tea served at local Chai stall-Healthy proposition but immaterial!!! Unless one day you get inspired from divas in fairness ad and decide to add magic little whitener into your capability concoction, you will be used only for combating hangovers.

Or else, some lucky you might get starred as in next “dark and dutiful” protagonist of some sitcom where your fair counterpart will win her way to the hero’ heart and you- public sympathy and off course tele-votes.

It doesn’t just boil simmers and sieve down to the female motley. With the sudden emergence of ubercool, metrosexual clan, male brigade is leaving no [pumice] stone unturned to scrub their cheeks off in to the fairness whirlpool. For gone are the days of princess kiss frogs-turn into beautiful prince days. Today they toad their way from “Fairy Tales” to “Fairness tells”!!!

When I first saw the campaign of “Fair and handsome” I mocked it down as the just another stupid product targeted to the mass which will die its natural death in the local saloons. I was so wrong. Unless I saw it in shelf of one of my very charming friend who advocated his cause as a conquest for 'bride hunt' - read fair & beautiful[was he trying to tell me something??!?!?]. Guess, should have rather asked me[am i trying to tell him something???!!?? Naaah]

As per a research by a leading cosmetic company, a major part of the Indian population buys fairness products and surprisingly a lot of them are males. I wonder whether girls should now thanks consumerism for making men conscious about their self appearance or appreciate it for giving them a “way to life, love and professional success”.

But yeah, am still heart broken to see my friend falling prey to fair brigade [gives rise to my already surmounting inferiority complex, where comparitive complexion was a plus point u see]… Now less mortal like me are left with an unkind option to either perish or switch to mot juste!!!

Ghazini

2009-02-23T21:26:00.000+05:30

[If you think it’s quite late to write on this; read again…]

It all started when Vishal Devji from Indiatimes, called in to check if he can drop in at my office to discuss a probable tie up for an up coming promotion. It was somewhere in year 2005.

The film he wanted to co promote was a big Telugu movie with star cast like Prabhu deva, Chiranjeevi and works. I couldn’t recall the name though but would like to share some memoirs from my good old marketing days.

I eventually couldn’t go ahead with the idea as they couldn’t manage to rope the above two celebrity to meet my Indicom customers. Not ready to settle for less, I parked the promotional contest from my kitty to the magnanimity of corporate team and moved on to find another cost effective idea to enhance customer’s participation and align my revenue KRAs

My boss then suggested “Biryani with Sangeetha”, telecom’ typical ‘meet and dine with celebrity” based contest. Sangeetha was an upcoming actress, based known for “I love you Rasna” campaign of the yesteryears. [Remember the child actress mouthing one of the cheesiest tagline of Indian advertisement- Coffee- papa ko nahi chahiye; Chai- papa ko nahi chahiye. Papa ko phir kya chahiye? Rasna- I love you Rasna. Ab chaar naye flavor mein].

Yup, the same cutie pie, who was lost into oblivion only to surface back on south Indian cinemascope. So, did we go ahead with our biryani campaign? Well No! For the price our little starlet was demanding was quite high considering her non-descript popularity to run an expensive campaign around. My team saw the logic, negotiations dropped and onus returned back to me.

Its then I decided to go for my usual SMS based quiz contest on any recent blockbuster of Andhra hinterland. Which blockbuster? Well bosses said- “you decide” but make it more drawing than “Biryani” proposition.

Ghazini was the outcome of my casual “ask ur localites-colleague” poll and Internet based secondary research on blockbusters. I studied the film, researched the production, designed 10 questions on multiple choice format and launched the contest. Surprisingly, the internal launch mail stirred a lot of curiosity from my colleagues and I was invited to a lot of coffee breaks to share my newly recognized passion for south Indian movies.

And then one day, I heard they are re-making Ghazini in Hindi. With so much of fanfare and hype built around, the movie unfortunately failed to deliver as much as it’s down south counterpart. Or may be it was the sad progression of a lovely love story that made us sad. Well Love’s like that!!! But still, kudos to the team for bringing in such a novel idea and adaptation. Impressive starcast, loveable songs and I had an amazing experience watching this movie. Apart from being my first movie in Mumbai, it was one of the movie which kept me awake whole night with reflections of a mere one scene. [No price for guessing- The cruel murder scene where the villain brutally hammers the actress to death. Asin has emoted brilliantly through her eyes; you could feel the combined helplessness. Life’ like that!!!]

And today, when I read about the high revenue the movie is registering at turnstiles. Sigh, I really hoped if I wouldn’t have let go of my product mgt role, would have made quite some cash registers ringing for my application based contests too and not just being a silent viewer of “meet ghazini stars” [ a contest ran by Corporate] Talking about life coming to full circle and missed opportunities.

Baba Black Sheep

2009-02-18T21:49:00.000+05:30

Another “high on hormone” baba has been arrested for allegedly molesting women on pretext of helping them with their conceiving problems.

As I read through this another news on sordid “state of affairs” of miscreant babas and their baba-giris, I could not stop wondering on the “blessed powers” of such babas, who merrily go against the law of nature and help one conceive through their spiritual entities??!??

I mean, with my limited biology knowledge, I could not understand that how come these “babas” and “swamijis”, as a last “resorts”, helps a female to conceive a child? Do they run some kind of spiritual IVF clinics or give special “failure proof” tutorials on “Art of making babies”…ahem!!!

Don’t misunderstand me but from tales of yore, I’ve been hearing that women from queens to commoners knocked swami’ doors for their much awaited heir. And most of them even come back “happily preggers”. But then what happened to those, who babas could not possibly bless with their super powers and have to return empty fetus? I mean, did babas run of their stock of “storks” or the otherwise philanthropic babas got population conscious?

In this particular news incident, the lady who got the poor baba arrested is now 7 months pregnant [What her combined effort with her Mr. couldn’t deliver in 3 years, the testereonic baba delivered in a visit. And you still blaming the poor baba???!!??]

Is this really a fault of a baba or the illiteracy rate or lack of proper practical education to be blamed? What on earth was the woman expecting from the chap? “An increase your fertility bhabhoot” [ash] or a free copy of the famous literature by Mr. Vatsayan. In latter case, she [along with other women of the same beliefs] visited a wrong publication house. And in former scenario, the bhabhoot turned out to be the “narcotic substance” babas are famous for.

Poor baba!!! He either got too tempted to get a disclaimer done or probably ran out of his “regular followers”. Cause if you tell me that an illiterate woman in a sleepy village got her lack of awareness befooled her motherly ambitions, I can still understand. But how come city breeds runs to swami corpus?

This doesn’t just ends here. It also culminates to some introspective exercise that our society at large has to “conceive and deliver”. What are our best diplomatic answers for-

- How many babas do we need to arrest to curb or prevent such tragic and shameful acts of babagiris?
- How many more such physical abuse or rape cases do gullible women have to go through before society works hard to inculcate basic awareness or “sex education” amongst all?
- How many female infanticide do we need to let happen before we strictly instill that women are not just a piece of flesh and this society is secure for them to live and thrive?

Wake up guys!!! The lecture is over…Though am not sure if it just remains at being so. Beware! There are some women in everybody’s home.

Slumdog Millionaire- Movie Review

2009-02-17T02:00:00.000+05:30

Disclaimer: I am writing in here only on the "creative" & "entertaining" aspect of the movie.

Slumdog Millionaire is a well made movie and I really liked it. Half of my friends apprehensively calls it as an “anti Indian” movie.

Yes, in the beginning I too was apprehensive about its “entertainment quotient” and took tickets with lesser interest, but cut to 1st two scenes, I began to like the theme. I could not understand that why certain people esp. one of my favorite actor Mr. Amitabh Bachchan has disapprovals towards this well narrated, work of fiction. But the simple reasons for why I liked this movie are-

- The plot: the brilliantly interwoven tale of a slum dwelling boy, his struggle and the striking correlation between his life and every question on his journey through the millionaire trail.
- At least, it had a story guys!!! A cohesive story sans larger than life characters
- The real to character performance by all actors esp. the three stages of Jamal
- The guided tour to Taj
- The interesting translation of 3 musketeers towards grand finale
- No flashy showbiz, just a honest effort to tell a story
- Happy ending where you walk out a theatre with a happy feeling

Phew pals, it was just a movie and a work of fiction and just a representation of some characters in a slum and not the entire country. Unless I turn a nerdy, moron jingoist tomorrow, under no circumstance I would allow myself to believe that one tiny of movie can ever represent my entire country.

It’s like giving it unnecessary spankings, allegedly for being a mass destruction of all the achievements and glory India has ever stood for, locally and globally.

It’s like letting people accept that we do not have JRD Tata, Ratan Tata, Vinod dham, Narayan Murthy, LN Mittal, Sunil Bharti Mittal, Azim Premji, Preeta bansal, Dr. Ashok Jhunjhunwala, Dr. BK Sethi, Mahatma Gandhi, Lata Mangeshkar, Dr. V kurien, Dr. Abul Kalam Azad, Vikram Sarabhai and an endless list of Indians to be devoid of their achievements of giving a good picture of India.

It’s like approving that when our stupidly air brushed actors, wearing skimpy cloths dance around the foreign locales singing- You are my vada pav and the works, is a better representation of the country and it’s creative culture??!!??

It’s like assuming that if an Indian director makes a crude movie like “Matrubhoomi” or “Kamasutra”, it could be boasted of creative brilliance. But when a foreign director well narrates a story based in India, he is creating a wrong image of the country?

It’s also like fuelling a misconception that since Mr. Ramalinga Raju masterminded one of the biggest scam in India [Satyam], all India based companies are fraud too. Phew!!!

It’s also like concealing a dirty wound instead of healing it. And then denying the existence, gravity of the sore and letting it grow like gangrene.

Come on, let’s grow up. And tell the same to the world who after watching the movie mistakes our country to be only a replica of what portrayed in Slumdog. It was just an art of story telling and not all stories are so pleasant to see.

Just accept it buddy, this movie had bought that International acclaim what our big budgeted, even big hyped productions failed to achieve.

From Monsoon wedding to Lagan to Black to Devdas to TZP, only hype & controversies surrounded bollywood’ entry to Oscars. From the big stars to even bigger controversies, almost everyone boasted about their art & cash collection figures to big world of Oscars and international acclaim. But alas! None of them could shake much as they stirred.

Until one fine day a man from west travelled to the “slums” of Mumbai and found its million dollar baby, an absolute underdog to the bollywood over the top biggie wiggies [ No denials that some of ‘em do entertains as well]. While the world was busy alluring about Big B-hood and ‘K’ovetable Khan clan, a certain Mr. Anil Kapoor, underplayed and silently stole the thunder under everyone’ nose.

But does that say that Bollywood cannot make pleasant sounding stories and sweep off the red carpet? No, it certainly can. Or does it convey that all our Hindi movies aren’t worth a thing? No, they certainly are. The idea is to get novel and be constructively creative!!!

Six months down the line, people will forget Slumdog millionaire. But one shouldn’t forget the lessons learnt out of this film. The lesson that the 3 lead characters and their story gang tried to convey. The lesson that even the slums of India can reproduce millionaire which even the more blessed societies cannot.

Jai Ho!!! To the UNDERDOG Millionaire!!!

National time pass

2009-02-15T23:17:00.000+05:30

Gone are the days of poetry, dancing and gardening. Fast emerging new national time pass [es], here's a glimpse-

1. Busting out myths like what’s better- tea or green tea? Is Eating chocolate, a good stress buster or dark chocolate is a good...
2. Making “different” cinema, multiplexes you see!!
3. Reality shows & SMS based poll opinions
4. Blogging, but off course

Friday, the 13th

2009-02-15T19:32:00.000+05:30

What would you do on the day which says- its Friday the 13th?

Hmmm how about a quick ride to a remote, rural terrain in the stark dark??!!??

Well that’s how I adventured this day. It was a smooth ride to Basanti highway. Smooth because the rural road was better than a lot of its urban counter-path. The amazing part was that it was unknown, unplanned trip and still not frightening. But the most amazing part was it was just a left turn from the pulsating urban world to rural hinterland.

Basanti Highway is village just in the city. A wetland estate towards the left of “science city. The road further leads to sonpur, connecting other highway –bhojorhat to rajarhat, the upcoming gurgaon-noida esque hub of Kolkata.

It was atleast a 10 km+ ride into the sleepy and almost empty road. My friend wanted to scare me and even checked my pulse before and after the quick ride. We could have ventured further, amy be towards sonpur but there were two things- One, it was getting late and two, my friend thought I might get jittery, which I wasn’t.

Whatever, the place was quite amazing and am still thrilled at the prospect of it. Am sure you too would. If you stay in Kolkata or visiting here sometime, do take a small ride to the wetland highway. And yes, don’t try to buy any property there even though if it’s offered at dirt cheap price. Because it’s illegal to buy a property there or construct, as the land solely is for creating the ecological balance.

Live life Emperor-size!!!

2009-02-09T22:27:00.000+05:30

Well it might appear quite a misnomer during times of recession and “size zeroes” but it’s the first thing that came to my mind while I sat down to pen some thoughts.

I asked couple of my friends, even some colleagues that what does it mean to them to live life kingsize. And I was not too surprised with the answers that came. Well some very conveniently said “Gaadi[vehicle], Bungalow [Mansion]& Big bank balance. Some of them even pointed at my boss’ chair and said to be there and rule the roost??!??. While some of them even said that life full of leisure and no work. Not bad, not unusual either. In fact a colleague of mine openly told this Salman khan on his tv show- dus ka dum. [and I know what miseries his lavish statement landed him..sigh]

Anyways, having talking about the generic idea of “living life queen or king size”, well I wasn’t too surprised to hear most of the responses. But here, let me share my idea of “living life king/ queen size.

- To be able to say “no” to the things that are strict non ethical, wrong and brings mass destruction
- To take the green pledge and say no to plastic or anything that is non bio degradable or environment unfriendly.
- To say no to the system of frauds incl fraud sales, fraud reporting & all its conjoint brothers
- To not build your royalties on grave of someone else’ land of dreams, trust or wings
- To be able to do things for a “cause” and not just for “effect” of when life brings you to “pause”.
- To be able to refuse eating through the hands of mean situations or make compromises that famishes your soul
- To be able to spread understanding and respect for culture by fair means and not illegal enforcement or terrorism or violent showdowns
- To be able to stand against injustice, discrimination and threat its nasty existence with lightening of reform
- To be able to judge a human with his abilities, capabilities & not brands or hypes that tag alones
- To be not a eunuch and clap on self achievement, while sweeping the other’ effort down the drain.
- To be able to give a tight slap to anyone around playing dirty politics in your office or society
- To be able to stand to your rights irrespective of caste, creed, gender or disability
- To be also able to know your soul and give it precedence over brain and self maths
- To be able to fight against all odds & pull along the worst of times with best of spirits
- To be able to fight against ostracism; by being neither the creator nor follower
- To be able to accept your reality and stand forth on your right to live
- To be able to clean your house and still not trash the world outside
- To be capable enough to take care of yourself and others
- To say no to drugs and human trafficking
- To be the change you want to see
And nonetheless, to be able to pen your thought with out worrying too much about approval or disapprovals J

Cheers

What Font are you?

2009-02-07T15:04:00.000+05:30

I am a font called ‘Contrary’ or the font Called 'Helvetica'

Helvetica You’re like an industry standard. Classic. Reliable. Okay maybe a bit boring But you don’t let the haters get you down-after all, you’ve still got plenty of friends who thinks you’re the best.

You are contrary Yes, You are contrary. You’re unpredictable, and you don’t fit into you’re weird. You’re refreshing. You’re total freak. You’re so misunderstood.

http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/helvetica/quiz.html

If you love quizzes, you will love this too!!! And if you want to check out, what font you are, here’ the link. Aha, but you have to promise that you will share your results with me :)

Have you ever wondered what font you are? Sounds strange? Ok…

Well in the past, I have received many mails like what tree you fell from, what animal type you are [Chinese astrology of rat, dog et all], what color you represent et cetera.

Continuing with the trend of fancy astrological, personality, emotional quotient test & off course the amazing MENSA quiz [am yet to find 50% of the answers]. The more bizarre they got, the more excited we get to don our quizzing hats on.

So, when I was confronted with the question of what ‘font’ I am, I couldn’t stop wondering and jumped to this prospect with my quizzing hats on.

"Crying In The Rain"

2009-01-28T14:58:00.000+05:30

It's about an ethnic thought i came across few years back, supposedly from Mr. Chaplin' philosophical bucket...It abrubtly conveyed that the best way to conceal your precious pearl away from the awry eyes of this otherwise blind, deaf and dumb world, is to cry in the rain.

It's an experience that i've never let apart, never let any conflict to compare itself with. Come on now dont't start speculating on my pvt space, am too busy to sob sob..

Its just a thought worth sharing.

It seems to be quite sometime since i poured anything to my "tintinabulations". Its actually am not ready with anything new. So, here splashing back with one favorite lyrics of a song written by Carole King and Howie Greenfield [Dec 1961], to tell you that am still alive and kicking [not weeping] :-)

And yeah, it's not raining in Kolkata :)

I'll never let you see

The way my broken heart is hurtin' me

I've got my pride and I know how to hide

All my sorrow and pain

I'll do my cryin' in the rain

If I wait for cloudy skies

You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes

You'll never know that I still love you so

Though the heartaches remain

I'll do my cryin' in the rain

Rain drops fallin' from heaven

Could never wash away my misery

But since we're not together

I look for stormy weather

To hide these tears I hope you'll never see

Some day when my cryin's done

I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun

I may be a fool but till then darling you'll

Never see me complain

I'll do my cryin' in the rain

Munnabhai chale Uttar Pradesh

2009-01-17T14:00:00.000+05:30

Some little birdie’s are chirping about this new sequel of Munnabhai. The Real life one baba…

Seems sanju baba will be the samajwadi candidate from Lucknow in the next Lok Sabha election.

Well why not, if chee chee Govinda can, anyone can [at least munnabhai's last many movies entertained as well]

Irony has it, baba in his most famous film has paid homage to Mahatma Gandhi, only to join a party led by Amar singh and Mul-a-yam Sing-h Yadav. Is certain Mrs. Sonia Gandhi listening? Mr. Sunil Dutt was a handsome MP though and wonder if his legacy does justice. Takers anyone? Ms Priya Dutt??

Mr. Ramalingam Raju & Popular work of fiction

2009-01-11T20:25:00.000+05:30

This year’ Bookers got bigger, Bigger by 7000 crore. The ilk of Arundhati Roy, McEwan, Adiga, Rushdie and Martel has a tough competition, esp. in the best fiction category. ‘Satyam financials’ an epic in Indian Corporate world authored by Mr. Ramalingam Raju and co authored by PWC, beats competition hands down. Wait, whether it’s for Best Fiction category or Best Cookery book…that is for you to decide.

While you figure that, here’ an interesting read on “How some popular works of Fiction would probably begin if authored by Raju [Satyam] and his crooked gang”

Disclaimer: I have flicked this interesting stuff from Internet, originally posted by someone called Mr. Sukumar Ranganathan. [http://blogs.livemint.com/members/Sukumar-Ranganathan.aspx].

Thought it would make an interesting read for all.

The original lines are given below the book name followed by creative version

Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
(As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into a giant insect.)
As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams about stock market regulators he found himself transformed in his bed into that rare thing -- a clean balance sheet.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

(It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.)
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a company in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a smart auditor.
Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

("Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.)
A balance sheet won't be a balance sheet without any cash," grumbled Vadlamani, lying.

I, Robot by Issac Asimov

(I looked at my notes and I didn't like them. I'd spent three days at U.S. Robots and might as well have spent them at home with the Encyclopedia Tellurica.)

I looked at my audit notes and I didn't like them. I'd spent three days going through the books of XXXXXXX and might as well have spent them at home with my PSP
The Exorcist, by William Peter Blatty

(Like the brief doomed flare of exploding suns that registers dimly on blind men's eyes, the beginning of the horror passed almost unnoticed; in the shriek of what followed, in fact, was forgotten and perhaps not connected to the horror at all.)
Like the brief doomed flare of exploding suns that registers dimly on men's eyes, the beginning of the horror passed unnoticed; in the wake of what followed, in fact, was forgotten and perhaps not connected to the events at all.

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

(It was a pleasure to burn.)
It was a pleasure to fudge
The Personal History of David Copperfield by Charles Dickens

(Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show)
Whether I shall turn out to be the villain of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, this letter must show.
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

(Last night I dreamt I went to Manderly again.)
Last night I dreamt we were profitable again

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

(I am an invisible man.)
I run an invisible business

Goldfinger by Ian Fleming

(James Bond, with two double bourbons inside him, sat back in the final departure lounge of Miami Airport and thought about life and death.)
Ramalinga Raju, with a good Andhra meal inside him, sat back in the final departure lounge of Dubai airport and thought about profit and loss.

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

(The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home.)
The auditor had been working very hard all morning, window-dressing his book of accounts.

The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

(He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf stream and he had gone 84 days now without taking a fish. )
It was an old company that operated alone in the fast lane and it had gone six quarters without making a profit.

The Honorable Schoolboy

(Afterwards, in the dusty little corners where London's secret servants drink together, there was argument about where the Dolphin case history should really begin.)
Afterwards, in the dusty little corners where Mumbai's auditors drink together, there was argument about where the Satyam case history should really begin

The Little Engine that Could by Watty Piper

(Chug, chug, chug. Puff, puff, puff. Ding-dong, ding-dong)
Borrow, borrow, borrow. Siphon, siphon, siphon. Sob-sob, sob-sob

No comments…We are hypocrites please!!!

2009-01-11T20:21:00.000+05:30

It’s so disheartening to see “0” comments on my last many scribbling L

Is this a sign that seer-
1. Either no body visits my scraps oops!
2. Or no body bother to read what is written
3. Even bad that you read and don’t like it
4. Extremely bad if you think it doesn’t deserve to be even talked about

Sigh…..the case of justice delayed and denied too?

You are lucky if am just carping and if throwing some names help, pl note that-

Shobha de and SRK crossed sword when the latter dilly dallied to comment on Mumbai terror ravage last month. [For punches n detail refer my blog on Shobha Sari & SRK]

Sheila Dixit won by 42 seats and I lost by poor visits.

Gaurav to Gala is busy getting married and recession is draining my inbox.

Madonna is arousing crazy enthusiasm in chile but my blogs still struggling to stir interest level.

Shobha De, Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir khan, KJO et al' blogs are inundated with comments as if they really care. But i Do :-(

Alec Grevan is busy writing “how to talk to girls” but I recommend “just be yourself”.

So, be your “polished self” and "be yourself" and keep pinging!!!

[It adds to my fragile motivations yaar]

Ramalinga Raju and Pakistan calling

2009-01-11T20:14:00.000+05:30

He got unveiled, nailed and now even jailed. Next is what? Bailed?

Off course and then? Hmmm, maybe escape- railed to Pakistan. [Ab Samjhauta kaun nahi karta!!!]

While Mr. Reddy and Mr. Naidu are still busy blaming each other for the Fiasco [that who is irresponsible to let the exposure happen, draining off an important source of party funds], the ex Mr. Hot chilly of Andhra Pradesh IT revolution must be feeling orphaned. Or he started getting feelers from dog fathers oops godfathers of our beloved neighborhood.

Why? It’s but natural for our great neighbor to stretch open its arms [and ammunition too] to anyone keen to flee our country on facing the prosecution threat for doing things that our democracy isn’t particularly gung ho about. A tried and tested formula from Dawood Ibrahim to D gangs of the world.

If he plans to appeal to them, they would be more than glad to receive him. For it is a safe haven to anyone we want to hunt down.

And not just this, he can buy a house there or even a petrol pump or even open a global ice cream “fudge’ parlor and can be assured of getting a 7-star treatment. Deve Gowda can help him on tips or two.

Alternatively, the next best career progression path seems to be Politics. Come on don’t mock the idea off as a stereotype. I understand that politics is largely filled with people with criminal steaks and pie. But like anyone else, he should be given a chance to absolve his sins and do penance. His services could be used for auditing fellow other corporate tigers. Unless the beast wants to head wayward east.

Trivia: what if an increasing no of corporate honchos join politics?
Madhur Bhandarkar will make a new movie called- Corporate Satta.

Couching potatoes & laden popcorns

2009-01-08T23:24:00.000+05:30

Escapism always helps to temporarily divert attention away. And one way to do that, go couch potatoes and hog.

I recently reignited my cinematic apperceptions [abridged version for thematic apperception]. An exercise that not only helps build your patience, color imaginations but also eats away your precious time and hard earned cash flows on movies, phone calls and what not.

With special thanks to Reliance BigFlix and my IT team for all odds and even the evens. I am doing all of the above after my 9 to 9 job.

Kalyan, my IT guy thinks my lappie is a chalta-firta one stop home theatre solution, where all movie viewing options including power DVD, winDVD, unlicensed DivX Codec is available and still they don’t want to resolve my region code problem

Anyways it’s not just that I have been watching a lot of movies these days. It’s not just an Escapism measure either…If you wondering am a total phillumy person, than I beg to differ as well. It’s just that reviews, like any criticism to anybody comes easier. And though my craftsmanship still waits to be explored, my motivations gets further fuelled when my friends admits it too. Ah! I meant movie reviewing skills.

Here’s some snippet on the latest reel-istic experiences. Some movies that I watched last month or so and one of the most easiest to do-compilations-
Anger management
What I loved about-

1. Jack Nicholson- anyday

2. Goosfraba
3. “I feel so pretty”; “I feel so stunning”
4. The meatball catalogue` and the implosive anger golf.

As good as it gets
1. The thank you note
2. Little Vendall
3. Helen hunt’s confession to her mom
4. Off course Jack Nicholson as Mr. Udall

The bachelor
1. The Mustang theory of Men [Wild, Free & never tied down]
2. Rene Zellweger
3. Terms & Conditions to be qualified married to $100 millions
4. The grand finale- Brides, brides all around. Bride on top ‘rings in” the merry sound. Wedding bells on the fire exit staircase and priest on loudspeaker. What an adventure!!!

[Other]Wise crack: Don’t get mad, get married ;-)
Trivia: Do you know thatSeveral of the brides chasing the bachelor at the end of this movie are male extras in drag, and all brides running on the streets were wearing tennis shoes.

Till you were here
There is a knock on door and love walks thru
And lights the fire, smiles a smile
I told love, we are going to stay a while
And the fire breaths and weaves it spell
But then love runs out of lies to tell
For love is restless, love is a flirt
Love has places to go and people to hurt
So here’s the shovel to smother `the flame
Tomorrow u will barely remember my name
For I would try to forget u my dearest one, likes the person tries to forget the sun
For life holds no purpose, love holds no charm
Since I have found you and love’s harm

Also,
1. Sarah Jessica Parker: She reminded me of a colleague in hyd’bd.
2. Someday someone will love me more than life itself
Someday my whole life will be completely different

Along came Polly
1. Runaway bride & scuba diver: Accidents can happen to anyone, anywhere and funnily anyhow
Salsa ;-)
2. Jennifer Aniston’s real to life act!!! :D

To catch a thief
Old world charm Cary Grant & Grace Kelly
The Fountain
1. Rachel Weisz, the theme, visuals and amazing experimentation.
2. If you think Hugh Jackmen’ quest for tree of life was complicated then try -Xibalba, Conquistadors, Golden nebula, The Mayans, Thanataphobia

[Other]Wise crack: Death is a disease, like any other. But it’s a cure, unlike many other

Music & lyrics
1. Hug oops hugh grant & Huge Barrymore
2.
I put my dreams in a box
So they will never spoilhidden from the sunlight
Underneath the soil
You can never be too careful with a secret
As someone once said,
But would it be safer to keep
It locked up in my head?

3. I have been living with shadow over head
O have been sleeping with cloud above my bed
I have been lonely for so long
Trapped in past that can’t seem to be over
I have been hiding off my hopes n dreams away
Just in case I would need them again someday
I have setting aside time
With clear little spaces in the corner of my mind
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can make it through without a way into love

Women next door
Nothing!!! Not worth watching unless you love Gerard Depardieu

Yella
Yell-a!!! Hell, what was that???!!??

Also watchable:
Miracle on 34th Street, The family stone, The Bong Connection, Summer 2007.

Disclaimer: You are right if some of you think, its quite a lengthy one. But i guess its ok to make up for the "no post" gap of last few days :-)

Evan Almighty: Movie Review

2009-01-07T14:56:00.000+05:30

Evan almighty isn’t Bruce almighty. But it still entertains. Evan Baxtor is not Jim Carey and sooner the makers realized this, they pulled over a long rob and beard on his “I am Happy, handsome & successful” face.

Bruce almighty was good, it had a message to convey too, of love and faith. Since the message couldn’t get enough. So the 40 yr old virgin director made Evan almighty with even strong message. Apparently, the message bit got larger than life. But well you can sit through and count it in your “Act of Random Kindness…lolz [Well the movie is still likeable, not for sheer message but the metaphor too].

Ok, so where were we? The message concoction got quite a stronger, leaving me to wonder what the next “almighty” will be about. Shall I recommend “Ekta Almighty”. That be wonderful indeed esp if they give me some magical power too and off course Jim Carey ;-)

Meanwhile, my favorites from the movie-
1. God’ first dialogue with congressman
2. God’s second dialogue with congressman
3. God’s final dance dialogue with the congressman
4. Off course, God’s dialogue with Mrs. Congressman.

Also worked well-
1. All creatures in a pair, side by side helping “Noah of NY” to build the ark.
2. The theory of “Act of Random Kindness”
3.The motor mouth EA
4. The rob act- at door step & parliament
5. Everybody dance now.
6. Needless to say- Morgan freeman